Born to Love You - Romantic Accidents, Cinematic Mishaps

Disaster strikes every time photographer Rex (Coco Martin) finds tour guide Joey (Angeline Quinto) in a room. In fact, Joey spells calamity in capital letters. She bungles important moments in wedding receptions, vomits on Rex’s lap, falls underwater from a moving boat, and even impulsively slaps the irascible photographer. Rex wants nothing to do with Joey, until a lucrative corporate account throws them together.

Rex needs the dough. Besides, this will keep his fledgling studio afloat. Moreover, he has urgent bills to pay, and this account is crucial to the survival of his studio. Meanwhile, Joey is counting on this project for more clamorous reasons: his indigent – but happy – family is short on cash. Electricity’s been disconnected at home. If things turn out fine, this project could send her to Korea where she plans on finding her biological father.  

After rescuing Joey from near drowning, their relationship evolves into something more amorous. The cat-and-mouse bickering soon turns into a more intimate relationship. Joey takes him home to meet her parents (she has a doting mother Dulce and a loving stepfather Tatay Yoyoy – played by Malu de Guzman and Al Tantay). While Joey opens her world to him, Rex is dismissive where his family is concerned. The burden of his past heavily straddles on his shoulders. When he was a child, his mother (Eula Valdez) packed her bags for a job overseas and never came back. What’s worse, she remarried, leaving Rex’s father (Tonton Gutierrez) a broken man. Fast forward to the present. Rex’s father is dead, and his mother’s new family moves back to Manila.

While Sylvia (Rex’s mother, Eula Valdez) tries hard to bridge the emotional chasm, Rex continues to withdraw himself away from his even-tempered stepfather (Albert Martinez) who’s an influential businessman. When Rex finds himself in a bind (he couldn’t pay his bills and his bank cheques bounce), he adamantly refuses their help. Things come to a head when he learns that he was, in fact, saved by the extended family he abhors. He makes a rabid escape oblivious of Joey’s pleas. Then a vehicular accident once more changes the course of events.

Director Jerome Chavez Pobocan's story moves with disjointed and uneven temperaments (yes, there are several here), fielding irrational characters with obvious affinity to mishaps. Moreover, the telenovela trappings of the back stories feel too contrived and manipulative, you might as well ride the roller coaster while they are piling up the narrative implausibilities.Why such discombobulating troughs and ebbs? The script is essentially a hodgepodge of formulaic strains admixed with a thousand and one dramatic contrivances. Let's throw in several ideas, they think. Some thing's bound to work, debah?. Well, it didn't!

Angeline Quinto fields an asperous performance. She traipses around in awkward, indeterminate moments, vacillating between the dramatic and the comic, but neither translates into anything vaguely sincere.      

Some scenes are even worse, like when she just stares blankly where there should be emotions. Let's take a line for example: "Nararamdaman mo ba ang sinasabi ng puso ko?" (Say what?) "Wag mong tingnan ang wala sa yo. Tingnan mo kung anong meron ka!" Heavy stuff, right? But Quinto ends up with nothing but an emphatic delivery devoid of emotions. You might as well get a kalabasa and make it talk!

Coco Martin does better, although he is likewise hobbled by a burdensome script and his impasse with the English language: "May is-tep pa-der ka na!" "Pers taym mo, Predie?" Even some of his angry lines end up too cumbersome to empathize with. It's easy to lose sympathy because you have an inkling that Rex's pathological grief could be mental illness more than heartbreak. Ang OA eh! He desperately needed help and when he gets it, he turns away, and even huffs like an ingrate!

The problem here is, there are too many scriptwriters tweaking the story, thus focus is lost on divergent concepts stirring the film into everywhere but a logical unraveling of events. There are 2 (or 3) main writers and 6 script consultants, yet they come up with this pedestrian story?! It's almost unfathomable that eight heads worked on this rubbish. Such artistic destitution is getting more indisputable by the second!

Is this romcom? Light romance? Musical? Heavy drama? Existential movie? Try checking all. When Rex is seen standing on a cliff, gazing at a golden sky, you somehow get goosebumps because you knew this was the protracted version of a coffee commercial: Para kanino ka ba gumigising sa umaga? You crash your car on boulders and all you could ask is this fallacious question?

Apparently, the dingbats at the Cinema Evaluations Board (CEB) were tickled pink by such delusions because they rated this a B! What is an impressionable and simplistic group of twats doing in a board that's supposed to pick out gems from theatrical weeds? But maybe this film needs its 50% rebate. After all, when I watched it on a weekend, at a very prime time 7 PM, there were only seven souls populating the huge Galleria cinema! If you were to believe the television hype, you would think there was a pandemonium crowd queuing for this cinematic detritus. Well, there's seven souls and myself. There is justice after all.

Coco Martin plays Rex Manrique

Angeline Quinto plays Joey: Can't even deliver a believable yawn!

Best Digital Fuzzy Cinemas – And 2010’s Most Wince-some & Winsome Moments Part 2

This post is 2^nd part of 2010’s Note-worthy People and Moments!

FUZZY STATE-OF-THE-ART

That SM Group of Cinemas should start considering the purchase of new digital players, projectors and screens. Being a major player in the cinema industry should make them aware that SM Cinemas all over the country have the worst Digital Cinemas in Asia! Digital films shown in SM look dark, fuzzy and the images are skewed. Heck, even low-brow Marketplace Cinema’s digital theater in Kalentong (Mandaluyong) has better facilities than SM.

“Tarima” and “Babae sa Sementeryo” seen at the Galleria and Megamalls will readily provide a stark comparative difference. While Galleria’s images glisten, Megamalls images appear dark and fuzzy, much like a pirated copy, and this is pretty unfair for the paying public as well as the film makers. My advice: if you are watching an indie movie and there’s a choice between an SM Cinema and elsewhere? It would be wise to watch it elsewhere!

I read somewhere that the SM Cinema Group covers 60% of the country's cinema market. If that is so, it is a serious matter lording it over with inferior technology.

REBUFFED

The obvious snob of Jennylyn Mercado from the Best Actress race at the Metro Manila Film Festival is a conundrum. Is Marian Rivera's "Super Inday" really even worthy of a nomination?

Though we don’t exactly feel Mercado should win the award, her portrayal was nothing to scoff at. It was devoid of excesses. Other overzealous actresses would have gone to town with such a lustrous character, but Mercado’s “Rosario” had the trappings of a cool chic who braved the Americas in the 1920s. There were scenes where you could have expected artistic flares, but Mercado remained calm and firmly casual. And her “Rosario” character was largely unapologetic of her (mis)deeds (except from her daughter whom she was forced to abandon), much like the perfect feminist. Sure, Rosario may not turn out like the crowd favorite – or the model of moral standard, but she lived her life the way she wanted. I like that!

“Rosario” is not a perfect vehicle either. It was convoluted and at times, unfocused, but this was superior work compared to the slapstick clutter of “Ang Tanging Ina Mo…Last Na ‘To”. When further compared to previous MMFF entries – like “Lapu Lapu”, the imbecilic “Wapakman”, “Super Noypi”, "Ang Darling Kong Aswang" and most “Shake, Rattle & Roll” – “Rosario” is clearly a work of note! Carlo Mendoza’s cinematography, Joey Luna’s production design and Albert Chang’s music all deserve (at the very least) a nomination. Now, the film eventually won 2^nd Best Picture – but you would somehow wonder why a festival’s 2^nd best doesn’t merit a best director nomination, right? Maybe this 2^nd Best Picture directed itself sans Mr. Martinez.

DISSERVICE TO MS. CES DRILON

I was so pleased with the crop of films shown at the Cinema One Festivals last November. Unfortunately for Cinema One Originals, it also spawned one of the year’s worst films: “Tsardyer” – a highly myopic representation of Ces Orena-Drilon’s kidnapping. Watching the film presented more questions as the narrative was told from the point of view of the hoodlums. Dimples Romana, an actress we like, appeared weak and almost inconsequential, we almost didn't care much if she gets hurt. This "re-enactment" was devoid of the insight that the story needed to be edifying or gratifying enough. It is a disservice to the execrable travails of Ms. Drilon.

In between scenes, mediocre songs would play out, shot a la music videos, to piece the narrative threads together, which was very alienating because, heaven knows, music videos are simply getting out of fashion, and they have no place in mainstream cinemas. Didn't you know: even MTV channel has done away with music videos? Performances were horrible: from the usually reliable Neil Ryan Sese, to the constipated turn of Shamaine Centenera (playing ABS CBN’s Maria Resa), right down to the hoodlums whose “nanlilisik ang mga mata” demeanor reminded me of those outdated Piling Piling Pelikula flicks of years gone by.

In several frames, their color palette were oversaturated, you’d think someone has overplayed with his Picasa! Even the sound was coarse and maladroit: fist fights sounded like bamboo sticks hitting down walls. The most flagrant sin in this elementary effort was its dubbing. In several scenes, you’d see the characters mouth the words, while the actual sound would come out 5 seconds later! Weren't these multiple out-of-sync scenes unnoticed at the editing/dubbing room during post-production? It was so distracting! Now if that isn't a case of sloppy, perfunctory film making, I dunno what is.

That it deserves a pat on the back for getting made? You wish!

Mindanao folks do not Tagalize common words like “charger” into its idiotic “tsardyer” so you kinda get a sense of the mind set of its makers. I was so glad I saw “Damgo ni Eleuteria” (Eleuteria’s Dream) later. It renewed my interest to finish all the entries last November. Otherwise, I would have been content sitting at home instead of paying for something as gag-worthy as “Tsardyer”.

Ces Drilon played by Dimples Romana in the elementary effort that felt like an over-extended music video collection.

ROBBED OFF AN AWARD

As mentioned earlier, I was so impressed with the crop of films shown at the Cinema One Festival last November, but one film was robbed off an award that rightfully belonged to them.

Best Cinematography went to “Ishmael” when it should have gone to Joaquin Valdes’ “Dagim”. I saw both films one after the other on the same day and the cinematography of “Ishmael” (one of my favorites from the festival) simply paled in comparison to “Dagim’s” cinematographic grandeur! People could debate about the artistic merits of each entry, but there’s not doubt in my mind about the incomparable excellence of Valdes’ camera work!

I saw “Dagim” first. By the time “Ishmael” screened, my visual senses were made acutely aware of its pixelated scenes and the uneven color grading of the seemingly (technically) unfinished “Ishmael”. Check out the long shots showing the fields at daylight and you could probably count the giant pixels staring before you. “Dagim” on the other hand boasted of crystal clear frames, even the night scenes and underlit shots bristle with clarity. It was all too obvious. Makes you wanna ask who were Cinema One’s visually-gifted judges? Were they blind? Were they dozing off while watching “Dagim”? Or were they simply intimidated by the youthful arrogant artistry of its makers? LOL

On point of narrative, “Ishmael” was a more cohesive work, with director Richard Somes once again effectively exploring themes on “alienation” and exploring the boundaries of people’s faith. Ronnie Lazaro inhabits his character with raw candor, giving the audience a sense of discomfort – the mere sight of his tattoos. The Tarantinoesque conclusion is something that deserves a bigger audience than Cinema One’s limited patrons.

Marc Abaya's mountain monster in "Dagim" (left) and Ronnie Lazaro's belligerent ex-convict in "Ishmael" (right).

Unexpectedly compelling "Ang Damgo ni Eleuteria" (Eleuteria's Dream) spectacularly shot in one full take! Damgo bravely tackles the chronology of displacement that eventually lead to a confoundingly funny, albeit ultimately wistful goodbye.

MOST BEAUTIFUL MELODIES IN A MUSICAL

One of 2010’s most ebullient stage productions is the re-staging of Gines Tan’s “Magsimula Ka!” It was fun to look back at the 80’s (Betamax? Metro Pop?) with such livid fun and the most glorious songs! Forget the naysayers who say it is “dated” (1980 should feel like the ‘80s – and that was 30 years ago!). The musical is a nostalgia piece. You can’t give it the veneer of “Rent” because it has a pre-millennial story. It's like saying "Kung Mangarap Ka't Magising", "Himala" or "Batch '81" are dated movies! On my part, I relished on some of the most melodic songs I've heard ever from any musical - foreign and local!

Mike Salomon, aka “DJ Myk”, is the star to watch! When he finally sang the anthemic “Magsimula Ka” at the end of the play, I was ready to rush to the stage and hug him. When other singers could have easily croaked from the song’s stratospheric excesses, Salomon was effortless, clear and pitch perfect! Congratulations to the whole cast and makers of “Magsimula Ka”. May your tribe increase!

Thank you, Tita Minnie, for the tickets - and for those delightful stilettos from Naples! I love you dearly. Kisses!

FADING IN OBLIVION

Sarah Geronimo’s “iDol” started out big! There were gimmicky extemporaneous dances in malls (MOA, Market Market) and people were looking forward to the local version of “Glee”. But then the ratings sagged. I wasn't too pleased watching Jovit Baldivino emoting; it was an unnerving watch. Even Geronimo’s millions of adoring fans didn't bother to watch the musical teleserye. From an earlier time slot, it moved to a later time slot and further down as it gradually faded in oblivion! It eventually closed shop 2 weeks or so before its scheduled sayonara. Tinaggal bigla - and no one noticed – simply because no one was watching!

Now I am curious where Ms. Geronimo’s gazillion of fans went? Ah yes, they were busy buying the products Sarah heavily peddled in the lukewarm “Hating Kapatid”. These days, she goes head on against the verbose and unapologetic Cristine Reyes whose Martha Cecilia's “Kristine” is enjoying its 3rd programming extension in ABS CBN’s late prime time.

iDol's sagging ratings, premature ending. They didn't care about Billie, Jean or Jovit!

Martha Cecilia's Kristine: enjoying its umpteenth program extension.

TROUBLESOME FANS

2010 also saw the rise of the arrogant and intrusive fan groups. These are the very same fans who give bouquets to talk show hosts who highlight the mediocrity of their favorite love teams. The very same fans who threaten to throw acid at would-be rivals. I’d say the NBI should teach these non-thinking dregs a lesson or two on why threatening against the safety of others should not be a preoccupation. Paging the saintly Kimerald fans!

IGNORE ME NOT!

Who could ignore Charice’s “invasion” into mainstream American entertainment? From a cameo in a hit-movie, “Alvin and the Chipmunks – The Squeakquel” (singing Alicia Key’s “No One“) to a high-flying Billboard Hit (“Pyramid”) – to a giddy season 2 opener in the hit TV show, “Glee”, Charice Pempengco is in Entertainment Heaven. And we are absolutely there with her! Though she hasn’t been seen in "Glee" after her fabulous duet (“Telephone”) and showstopping solo (“Listen”), she is bound to re-appear this February 2011, and the whole Philippines is holding his breath! Go, Charice!

Charice re-appears in "Glee" very soon.

FIGHTING A JAILBIRD

Manny Pacquiao is king of pugilists, but Floyd Mayweather Jr. begs to disagree. But you wonder why Mayweather keeps dodging the bullet, right? To add insult to injury, Mayweather and his father keep issuing statements that put down Pacquiao. In one such event, caught on video, he referred to Pacquiao, as “a yellow chump,” and even said “Once I stomp the midget, I’ll make that [expletive] make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice.” He further said, “I’m going to cook that [expletive] with cats and dogs. Have some rice with a little barbecue dog.” He also referred to Pacquiao by using a derogatory slang term for a homosexual. Now who is the congressman, and who is behind bars?

THE GOOSE THAT DIDN'T LAY GOLD

Why Regal films decided to field “Super Inday and the Magic Bibe” is beyond us. First of all, it unnecessarily exposes Marian Rivera to comparison with the formidable Maricel Soriano who originated the role. Second, “Super Inday” wasn’t even that big of a film during its time so why remake it now? A whole generation of viewers are not familiar with this 80s film.

It further exposed Marian Rivera to an unflattering comparison with her earlier superhero persona – “Darna”. As a viewer, why would you watch an obviously kitschy, inferior superhero? They must have banked on the “recall” of “Super Inday”, but if anything, it felt too passé’. Marian could have done a lot better with her more original “Nieves” – that aswang killer, which she also headlined successfully as part of a “Shake, Rattle and Roll” trilogy a few years ago. People would have remembered that better than “Super Inday” since that film made a lot of money. Fast forward to 2010’s Metro Filmfest – “Super Inday and the Magic Bibe” is among the festival’s tail enders, box office-wise. Not a good start for 2011. Tsk tsk!

Butch Francisco's best actress nominee, Marian Rivera is able but pales in comparison to the verve of Super Inday's predecessor, Ms. Maricel Soriano.

Marian Rivera as Nieves, the aswang slayer (left) and as Darna (right).