G.A. Villafuerte’s “Ex-Men” – Ligo na U, Ligo na We

Majority of the characters in G.A. Villafuerte’s “Ex-Men” had to endure their individual shower scenes. To break the monotony, there would be occasional shower pairings. In fact, if these bathing scenes were pieced together, they’d easily constitute more than half the running time of the movie, leaving not enough to develop a valid story. But telling a legible one was never among Villafuerte’s goals - or talent. If you thought cinema was meant to "tell tales", "educate and inform" or "entertain", you’d be hard pressed to pick an adequate raison d’être here. None of it is in the aforementioned. "To titillate?" Nah, not even that.

STORY

After overcoming upheavals in his finances and romance, Jayco’s (Jay Enriquez) fortune is starting to turn around. He has a well-paying job that that allows him to pay off his loan, saving his house from foreclosure. Moreover, he’s in a loving relationship with Brixx (Ichiro Lopez), a former rent boy who now lives with him.

But circumstances could rock Jayco’s peaceful existence: His brother Gerry (Jace Flores), along with pregnant wife Isay (Renee Gozon), needs temporary shelter. Why not, enthuses Mama Bong (Jobben Bello), who convinces Jayco that it’s his brotherly duty to help “dahil ikaw ang may kakayahang tumulong.” Strangers have done less for others. Jayco’s concern is, they've never agreed on anything in the past. 

On Jayco and Brixx’s first year anniversary, a motley crew of characters get invited, including Ervin (Marco Ronquillo), the uncle who once took advantage of Jayco’s erstwhile misfortune; Brixx’s mother (Elona Mendoza, also billed as executive producer); Jayco’s ex Kean (Chris Samson ), who left when Jayco’s fortunes dwindled; Kean’s new lover Glenn (Gary Guarino); and Norris (JR Alcaraz), Brixx’s former customer. This rendezvous of old and new acquaintances becomes a test as each character has to face some unresolved issues.

What follows is a series of banal events - spin the bottle (quite predictably), a drinking spree, an orgy of four that one of them refers as “threesome” (let’s teach the dingbat-writer how to count, alright?). As if this wasn't enough, caterwauling ensues; one that would try the audience’s patience against the most irritating and petty arguments.

G.A Villafuerte populates his stories with a dozen characters he has absolutely no aptitude to develop or explore. But then, more people means more showers, right? Hell would freeze over without someone soaping away his intimates. 

Even GMA 7’s former castaway Jace Flores had to scrub away his muscular grime to fulfil Villafuerte's myopic vision. What’s funny is how Villafuerte wasn't able to convince Flores to show his wares. Unlike other male characters where a camera would run through every inch of the actor’s state of undress, Villafuerte could only show Flores' tattooed shoulders. Takot si Ate.

But what Flores refuses to show, Jay Enriquez (in)adequately provides. Generous Jay has a fleeting frontal scene (so don't blink when he's showering). Let me tell you, it wasn't an angry inch, so to speak. A few centimeters was more like it.

The film has a party scene that's unnecessarily protracted, thus aimless. I knew I lost a good part of sanity just waiting for the whole darn revelry to unwrap. It was 15 minutes or so of kitchen preparation (yup, the whole kitchen groundwork wasn't even edited out, but employed as time-filler to stretch his 5-minute story).  It was like watching a bad cooking show without anybody cooking. 

In one of the story's arguments, Brixx was so disoriented that all he could mutter was a repeated line: “Sa akin ka naman galit, huwag kang mandamay ng iba!” Three times he spewed and belched like it was the only line he could remember from a three-page script; each one as undecided as the next – he even buckled on his third try I laughed so hard. I suspected this was really designed as comedy! When Jayco calmed down, he said, “Hayaan nyo akong mag-isip at hanapin ang tunay na ako!” Deep, debah? I didn't know he vanished.

In another scene, Brixx was trying to convince his mother that Jayco’s a good man. He tells her, “Mabait yun, Ma. Tinulungan nga ako nun noong naglalakad ako sa daan.” I didn't realize he needed help to walk. He didn't seem physically impaired to require assistance. In fact, he did strenuous activities in bed that necessitated perfect lower extremity mobility, I swear. These lines make you wonder if someone is actually writing these scripts. Or has Elvis left the building? ;)

A couple of scenes, both involving Guarino and Samson (who play lovers), did not have audio at all so I thought it was an exercise of miming. Where was the anonymous sign-language lady? Villafuerte just forgot his microphone. Though easily rectifiable, the scene stays in the movie. Did the director even bother to fix these? Ineptitude and laziness are major factors why such Pink directors do not achieve a degree of respectability.

Gary Guarino shares the shower with Chris Samson.

Jay Enriquez (left) shares inches more, but his burgeoning “feminine” side is off-putting. He gets “softer” by the minute. If this was pure acting, he might as well earn a Famas for his vicarious artistic persuasion. Ichiro Lopez, despite his small stature, registers well on screen, but he desperately struggles with his lines. Gary Guarino carries himself well and reminds me of the masculine charisma of Jeff Luna. Unfortunately, he wasn't tasked to do much but cavort (vigorously) in bed – or do these extremely crucial shower scenes.

Christopher Samson, if you're not aware, has a degree of fame as It's Showtime's Coco Martin kalokalike.  And he bravely shows his inches in a frontal shower scene (but for Villafuerte's eyes only) with Guarino (above). He also cavorts in bed for a couple more scenes. Very limber indeed. Was Coco ever this generous for Brillante Mendoza? Uh, yes. he was for "Masahista" and "Serbis", wasn't he? The biggest question is: What is Jace Flores doing in a film like “Ex-Men”? But then, what was Kristoffer King doing in Villafuerte's "Sayaw"? Or Jef Gaitan in the same brilliant director's "Dilig"? Desperation sometimes prods people to do the most ridiculous things. Maybe Jace will finally accede to showing what's way way down below the tattoos in Villafuerte's next two-dozen films?

Before I forget, the movie title is nothing but a bad word play on the prefix “ex” (former) and “men”, and has nothing to do with coming out of the closet. The story teller is too inept to handle such narrative dilemma. Thus he comes up with “Ex-Men” – men who were “former lovers/customers”, like Kean and Norris in the story. Brilliant idea, right? Burst of genius, I confer.  

POSTER CHILD

Villafuerte is the poster child of “artistic bankruptcy”. His stories repeat like a recycled vomitus. Heck, even his setting is recycled. The house used here is the very same structure he employed in “Pilyo”, shown one week before this. Even his blockings are familiar. There’s threadbare development of characters. Several scenes suffer from Meralco outages. Moreover, his plot uncharacteristically conflagrates into undeserved tension. Blink and you suddenly get shouting matches and high wattage melodrama.

Where did Villafuerte “unlearn” his screenwriting skill? This seems relevant because we don’t want others following his disputable knack for making the most opprobrious body of work. That he finds pleasure in getting mentioned here in Blush - as a director of ill repute and vacuous artistry - is really a testament to his simple mindedness. Bad publicity is never good if he never learns from his mistakes, which are a dime a dozen, oft repeated from one movie to the next. And what nincompoop considers a movie review as publicity? It is unfortunate that mediocrity is incurable. If it could kill people the way a malignant cancer does, he’d have been buried 20 films ago.  

      

Jace Flores: What is he doing in a B-exploitation film?

Gary Guarino

Chris Samson, Coco Martin's bespectacled kalokalike in It's Showtime!

Han Salazar's Adam's Apple: Kakagat Ka Ba? - Biting Temptation

Sherman Diaz and Jigs Garcia (Jay Enriquez and Iman Rivera) share a seemingly blissful three-year relationship. While hard working Sherman works as a garment store clerk, impetuous Jigs awaits for two things: a nursing board exam and a Canadian visa. When impressible Kiko (Rei-Jan Reinoso) moves in next door, Jigs starts getting ideas about their bedroom proclivities. After all, both Sherman and Jigs are uncompromising “tops”.  And isn’t it convenient that the next-door minor seems like a compliant ally who harbors a crush on Jigs’ affable lover? Though Sherman initially balked at the idea, Jigs eventually prevails. But Sherman warns it’s going to be their “first and last time” with Kiko, he tells both guys. But for Kiko, the ball just started rolling and he falls deeper in love. Moreover, Kiko’s presence stirs green-eyed monsters in Jigs. Trouble is, Kiko has turned suicidal one time Sherman drove him away. Humans are, after all, creatures of emotions, not just instinct and sexual impulses. One cannot completely engage in sex absolutely devoid of emotion. That’s what separates us from beasts.

But the call of the flesh is sometimes irresistible even for lovers. Jigs gets caught sodomizing Kiko when Sherman was supposed to be away. Another eventful day, Sherman surrenders to the seductive lure of former housemate Joel (Jeff Luna), not realizing that 1) his freeloading lover is stealing money from his stash; 2) he was being set-up and videotaped by Jigs. Once Sherman learns of the ruse, there’s nothing left to do but part ways. These turn of events downspirals into an act of violence that turns the lives of our protagonists upside down. Is there still a future worth waiting for Sherman and Jigs together? What becomes of Kiko? Will Arnold (Drigo Padil), Sherman’s long time friend and co-worker, successfully insinuate his affection into Sherman’s heart? 

Sherman and Jigs

Rei-Jan Reinoso is the impressionable minor Kiko.

The film isn’t completely devoid of merit in terms of narrative content. How would one face deception, which is a valid concern especially among same-sex relationships (men, gay or otherwise, are by nature polygamous)? In which adulterous demeanor do you amplify fortitude or offer forgiveness? Director Han Salazar offers middling answers, simply because his story telling is as inept as his film making skill. It doesn't offer viable answers. Salazar is further scuffed by his predilection to show off his actors’ “assets” so while high-profile Pink Film directors like G.A. Villafuerte (this talentless director scours the radio, late TV and social media to promote his vomit-inducing films) always fails to “deliver the goods”, Salazar successfully offers full frontal scenes from Enriquez, Rivera and Reinoso (and they’re not just blink-and-you-miss moments). In short, the raison d’etre of this genre flick is actually fulfilled. Is this exploitative? How can anyone argue otherwise?

Jay Enriquez and Iman Rivera aren’t bad for newcomers, but they offer perfunctory more than inspired performances. It’s actually Rei-Jan Reinoso who’s able to impart a sense of subservience to his “curious and infatuated minor” role. Earlier publicity items claim that he was a mere minor when they filmed this, thus its alleged dilemma with the MTRCB, but I guess this was just an interest-generating rumor. The genre’s audience would lap it up knowing it had issues at the censor’s board. However, I’ve seen links showing Rei-Jan as a doting father to his real life child. This should make him not quite the innocent that he is perceived to be, right?

Jeff Luna, playing Joel, shows a smudge of improvement in delivery – and this is good news. Pink Films' "it-boy" is finally moving forward. In fact, Jeff isn’t as monotonous here as he was in his previous films. But his side story (he’s cash strapped, thus cannot afford a placement fee for his job application in KSA) is rather an “intervening item” in a fledgling narrative. In one scene, Jeff is shown storming away from his girlfriend. He was livid with anger because his overseas application was forfeited when his girlfriend (Jesica Ruiz) clandestinely reveals to Jeff’s employers that she is pregnant! Why would that even matter? It’s not like Jeff and Jesica were married in the story. More importantly, the company was hiring Jeff, not Jesica!
    

Director Han Salazar (“4some”, “Fling”) would do well with a better script. He may also fare better with less exploitative tack. Haven't we had enough of flicks that paint the contemporary world as one filled with horned out guys who -jeepers! - all turn out homosexual? It’s about time Salazar takes full advantage of his learnings from past assistant directorial stints - “Dekada ‘70”, “Feng Shui”, “Minsan Pa”, etc. Hasn't he learned anything from Chito Rono? If he doesn’t improve in his next project, then it’s high time he dig himself a cave and stay there as long as I'm paying my own admission fees. That should make this world a better place. Obviously.

Sherman fantasizes about Joel.

Then Joel shows up to seduce Sherman.

Jay Enriquez as Sherman and Drigo Padil as Joel's friend and co-worker.

Jay Enriquez is Sherman

Iman Rivera is Jigs

Note:

Please read our featured post on Cinema Bravo and why Web Criticism isn't always about good and reliable writing:
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html