Ronald M. Rafer's "Gigolo" - Tens Years Back

Life hasn’t been a walk in the park for Julio (Mygz Molino) who, as a child, lived with a wicked stepmother who spared no affection for him. At last straw, he finally found the courage to runaway and live on the streets with other urchins. Fast forward to the present. Julio grows up an able bodied Romeo who, along with his friends (Maichel Fidelis and Jake Galeon), hang out in gyms and busy avenues to peddle his flesh to libidinous gay men. His girlfriend Margot (played by a girl who uses the ridiculous-sounding name “Kissy Babe Kisses”, believe it or not) doesn't mind. She herself is a prostitute.

One day, Julio overhears a story from Dominic (Christoff Ken), a gym guy with whom Julio is curiously drawn to, about Dominic’s mother Imelda (Carla Varga) who allegedly gave away her own child when she was younger. Why Dominic would unravel this to a complete stranger is stuff of legends. Anyway, Julio follows this lead and confronts Imelda. She was indeed the same mother who abandoned him. And she had been searching for him. They have a tearful reunion and vow never to be separated ever again. End of story?

Well, not quite. Julio comes home to find Margot battered and blue. Her last customer was Mr. Marquez (Rob Sy), an inveterate sadist. He gets his kicks torturing his girls. Julio vows to avenge Margot. He marches to the club where she works and finds the bald sadist. With great effect, he wears his hood and takes out his shiny knife, then bludgeons Mr. Marquez to his ultimate demise.

Next scene is a baffling testament to absurdity. The whole family: Julio and girlfriend Margot, mom Imelda and son Dominic walk the streets away from their house as they seek new glory under the sun. Yup, as easy as that. Murder completely erased from their timeline. Wide open smiles and bright inspired faces with no iota of guilt, grief or trepidation. Just how a fairy tale should be.

There has been a spate of entertainment writers and tabloid reporters who dabbled with Pink Indies. There’s Benny Andaya (“Tatlong Beses Isang Araw”), Sandy Es Mariano (last year’s “Jumbo Jericho”), and Ronald M. Rafer for “Gigolo”. Let’s not forget Ronald Carballo (“Pikit-Mata”). What’s the common denominator? Except for Carballo whose film we haven’t seen, each project is among the worst that Philippine Cinema has ever produced. In fact, giving these writers carte blanche to actually direct a film is several steps backward. Try 10 years! If this isn't a gargantuan slap on the face of Philippine Cinema, I don't know what is.

Rafer’s story telling technique is in desperate need of constitution. He tells his tales with barely any valid framework. Not only does he tell it in incongruent episodic clutter, he also resorts to spur-of-moment whims inserting narrative threads that do not belong to his story.

Let’s take the case of former Survivor Philippines’ Rob Sy and his protracted bed scene with the bar girl he hired to assault. Sy’s character could be absolutely stricken off because it dilutes the story of Julio and takes the focus away from the main characters. And it did. 

Rafer peppered his tepid story with its undeserved, unrelated and discrepant climax, but the character of Mr. Marquez is non-essential. He is disposable, and his presence puts emphasis to the movie’s randomness. Their scene which must have lasted a good 15 minutes involved an expendable, if not superfluous narrative string – a rape scene whose perpetrator humped away fully clothed! May medyas pa yata. :) How’s that for cinematic will or focus?

Rob Sy, Mahal, Maichel Fidelis and Ms. Carla Varga (Go figure!)

Rafer’s narrative exposition is painfully limited, and his scene transitions are very abrupt that one caterwauling scene briskly follows another head-splitting breakdown scene, then another “Magbabayad-ka-sa-ginawa-mo” scene. Carla Varga, who plays negligent mother Imelda, is a good example of Rafer’s very loose grip as director. Julio asks Imelda, “May anak kayo?” Then with no rhyme or reason, she bawls her heart out. They converse further. When Julio leaves, Imelda once again cries as though she just ate something awful.

TERRESTRIAL MYSTERY

Every scene with Carla Varga is executed with over-the-top melodrama, I half expected the Earth to open up and devour the actors for the noise they were generating. Moreover, I was befuddled why Varga is distinctively billed “Ms. Carla Varga”! Why the special title? Is she royalty in the league of Ms. Lea Salonga, Ms. Zsa Zsa Padilla, Ms. Lorna Tolentino or Ms. Eula Valdez? Is she an icon or hero? Is she vaguely popular? Raise your hand, children, if you know who she is. Is she young, vivacious and full of verve? Isn't she 55, or 65? Does she carry an enviable thespic prowess a la Nora Aunor, Bea Alonzo or Shamaine Centenera? Is she a personality of immense Helenic beauty? Mahal, is in fact, a more popular name than Carla Varga will ever be. Yet Mahal isn't billed “Ms. Mahal”. Mahal instead takes the film’s sidelight selling cigarettes at the bar entrance, with ribbon on her hair that's bigger than her head, screaming “Notice me! Notice me!” It’s woeful. We have a conundrum.

With all these peripatetic narrative detours, Julio’s story as “Gigolo” takes second fiddle. We are left out of Julio's kaleidoscopic world. Yes, there are more than half a dozen sex scenes, but some of them don’t even concern our protagonist. Rafer is taken to his “flights of ideas” leaving poor Mygz Molino disoriented in his own titular movie.  

Rafer further recruited some actors familiar in the genre for walk-on parts, as though he is cooking up chopsuey. Throw whatever he can into the brew to disguise the vacuity of his work. Brad Laurente awkwardly hams it up as a gayer-than-gay concupiscent queen bedding one of the guys. Jeremy Ian is likewise billed although I must have blinked and missed him.

Equal opportunity is a double edged sword. Anyone who dreams of directing can buy or borrow himself a camera and call himself a director with no heed for the filmic language or its artistic requisites. See any of G.A. Villafuerte's flicks to realize that the guy tells a single story in 15 of his films all told within 525,600 minutes. Repetition is supposed to turn into mastery, right? Not with Villafuerte, and in this case, Rafer, whose talents are limited to besting how to get worse than their last. In this country, even a secretary without any aptitude for governance can rise to become a Senator. That’s what makes this country great… and shitty.

Mygz Molino is Julio.

Note:

Please read our featured post on Cinema Bravo and why Web Criticism sometimes makes us nginig:
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html

Paul Singh Cudail's Hawla - Opprobrious Mentality

Harry (Johnron Tanada) is down on his luck. Unemployed and penniless, he needs fast cash to move away from the cramped dorm he shares with his friend Ethan (Mygz Molino). The latter suggests a concupiscent “booking” with the generous Tattoo Man (John Relucio), a seaman who was once convicted as a drug mule. Unfortunately for the reluctant Harry, his customer gets his kicks sodomizing his men. Anyway, it was something he had to endure to keep his finances afloat.

After finding a new lodging, things start picking up for Harry. He shares his digs with new friends, Brix and Robbie (Francis Cabral and Dice Vergara) who both work as nurses. But something’s amiss. Two weeks into Harry’s stay, he starts to notice Brix’s illicit visits to a seemingly quarantined room in the house. What is Brix hiding? Meanwhile, even Harry’s employment prospect perks up! Pending medical clearance, he gets the green light in a lucrative call center. He even chances on Chris (Rein Soliman) – the random stranger he once shared sexual rendezvous with - as his supervisor.

On the home front, he learns about Berna (Carla Varga), Brix’s very sick mother. And she’s dying from AIDS! She once worked in Kuwait, but got raped by her employer. These days, Berna is kept isolated in a dark room with nothing, but a bed, a fan and a mosquito net! Is she contagious like the plague? She must be. Otherwise, why would they segregate her like a leper? Why is her condition a hushed state of affair even in her own house?  

When Harry reports at the office, he gets the shock of his life when he learns that he is HIV-positive! “Hindi lahat ng callboy may HIV,” he tells his employer with due venom, I am sure the latter couldn’t be anything but dazed. What is this dingbat saying? Who’s accusing him of prostitution? Heavens!

Devastated by his boss’ patronizing demeanor, Harry bolts out of the office, and never comes back. He incessantly mopes, but never shares his condition with Brix and Robbie. When Berna expires, Brix takes her body to the province (why she needs to be cremated elsewhere is befuddling) leaving Harry under Robbie’s competent care. In fact, the latter fawns on him like his own patient. From out of the blue, Robbie confesses that he is gay. And somewhere along the narrative misconjugations, Harry and Robbie get it on – by the staircase! Wehhh!

Will this coupling lend courage to the agonizing Harry?  Will this circumstance allow him to break away from his recondite dilemma? Would Brix and Robbie pursue their Canadian dream now that they’ve received word from their prospective employers? Or will love (believe it or not!) prevail?

Harry (Johnron Tanada) shares brotherly moments with nurse Robbie (Dice Vergara).

BLOOD EXAMS BY XRAY: NEW TECHNOLOGY?

Director Paul Singh Cudail once again displays his profound philistinism to the topic at hand. His paltry insight on HIV and AIDS would have you believe that those inflicted become unproductive individuals, and that they automatically turn scourge of society. In fact, he showcases his ignorance by choosing the call center industry as backdrop to his misleading tale. After all, this industry is believed to have a swarming population of HIV-positive individuals (according to statistical reports). If Cudail is to be believed, that HIV-positive people cannot work at call centers, then it would probably spell catastrophe into the industry. A stark proof of Cudail’s idiocy is a scene showing the medical report that, indeed, Harry was HIV-positive! This paper was amazingly signed by an X-ray technician and a radiologist, instead of a medical technologist and a pathologist! Even my 7-year-old niece and my yaya (who didn’t finish grade school) know who does blood tests, and it isn’t the X-ray man, is it? I had to stop myself from laughing so hard. Geez!

Robbie is Canada-bound.

MAGNIFYING THE SHORT OF IT

Like most Pink Films, the characters in “Hawla” (Cage) had to endure their requisite shower scene so they can flash their family jewels for a millisecond. Of course, it allows Cudail to ogle at Mygz Molino, John Relucio and nubile Dice Vergara as they allow Cudail to exploit them. You can only dream of getting into Cudail’s secret outtakes for his own masturbatory fun! J After all, you can hardly deny Cudail’s conceit where his actors are concerned. The proof, honey, is in the pudding. While Harry is washing his laundry, Ethan joins him in the bathroom so he could soap away his 2 incher. Instead of covering up, Ethan turns to the camera for a second, “adjusts” his towel and in the process, exposes his miniscule jitterbug - and we all clap with joy… err, I mean hilarity! I have never seen anything as “cute”. And really now, while you’re flashing it, it’s never flattering to deliver the goods in the “short” of things! Magnifying glass alert!

These uncomplimentary moments are the director’s fault really. He tends to be walking in a haze while filming this cinematic detritus. Maybe it’s Dice Vergara’s presence that muddles his storytelling adroitness – or the lack of it. Afterall, Vergara looks deliciously fresh, he might as well be newly harvested from Cudail’s Facebook rummages. Unfortunately, Vergara’s presence doesn’t pack a wallop, except when he disrobes and hands Johnron a pack of condom for his hemorrhoidal incursions. Mocha chocolata yaya, indeed! Right, Christina?

THE PERFUNCTORY AND THE SINISTER

Johnron Tanada, the veteran hunk, moves in perfunctory fashion, but seems ill at ease in most of his scenes. He must really hate what he’s doing. Poor guy! John Relucio (as the mean-looking Tattoo Man) figures in a short but scorching scene with the diffident Harry. I'm telling you, all those sinister tattoos (see photo in this post to know what I mean) could singe the timid. Relucio in fact bears a strong presence. Too bad he was relegated to an exploitative cameo

Johnron Tanada

HEAD SCRATCHERS

There are several head scratching moments in this flick. When is HIV testing a prerequisite for local employment? When Chris (Rein Soliman) learns about Harry’s test results, he goes amok. But wait, could he really contract the virus by just fellating the guy? Didn’t they get it on for like 5 minutes? Did he swallow? It sure is possible but statistics about oral sex are limited. The CDC in fact has this to say: “Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through performing or receiving oral sex, though it is a less common mode of transmission than other sexual behaviors (anal and vaginal sex). While no one knows exactly what the degree of risk is, evidence suggests that the risk is less than that of unprotected anal or vaginal sex.”

In another scene, a Nihonggo-speaking secretary suddenly joins a long-jawed tranny in a gag-inducing dance – right in the lobby of a call center office! You wonder where this misplaced scene figures in an already bungled narrative. Cudail displays his ineptitude with such flight of ideas.

Now here’s a piece of the call center population. A lady trainor introduces a speaker – even before she identifies who she is – and says: “Our speaker will give you a short messages!” Another scene has an agent taking a call: “This is Kebin. How me I hilp you?” Anyare, ‘te?  And you wonder why quality of this industry is dwindling into fast mediocrity. When Harry was told about his condition (by the Call Center Manager, no less), the latter gives his two cents worth: “Don’t deny the reality if it’s the reality!” Ano daw?

The film’s most grievous sin lies in its stark ignorance of the illness. It does a grave disservice to the thousands of afflicted persons by portraying them as a useless, hopeless, dying breed fit to be caged in a dank, dark room.  Mr. Cudail is too ignorant to realize that a great number of this population is still productive – functional, happy – members of the community! Such opprobrious mentality deserves to be caged!  

Dice Vergara

John Relucio scorches as the Tattoo Man.

John Relucio

Rein Soliman as Chris Ramos, a call center supervisor.

Mygz Molino as Ethan: "Cute".

G.A. Villafuerte's Id'nal (Mapusok) - Fragments of Gibberish Confusion

It’s a roll call: Kenneth Jimenez, Glenn Katigbak, Kenjie Samonte, Bernard Osorio, Jacko Melendrez, Reggie Chua, Mark Samonte, et.al. These were just some of the names that populate the alternate universe of GA Villafuerte’s “Id’nal (Mapusok)”. Such thoughtful provision of complete names of characters would have you thinking that this was a scholarly dissertation about troubled relationships; a thoughtful traipse on infidelity - of epic proportion; with carefully limned characters in insightfully threshed out vignettes. But such attention to detail was sadly limited to these names – nothing more! They conveniently slept through most of the film making process, occasionally waking up for the belabored and passionless sex scenes.

“God-awful” – Now there’s a compound term that appropriately befits this cinematic vomitus!

Eirik Cruz and Anton Nolasco as lovers Kenneth Jimenez and Glenn Katigbak


Blink and you'll miss their resplendent cameos! Yet each of them have individual posters for "Id'nal". Any one who didn't get a poster was a joke? :)

CAPSULE

Kenneth (Eirik Cruz) is a college professor while Glenn (Anton Nolasco) is a med rep (a drug salesman). The two seemingly contrasting personalities nurture a relationship as they live together in absolute disharmony. While Glenn craves for Kenneth’s attention, Kenneth is dismissive and (though mild mannered and mostly conciliatory) never offers Glenn the time of the day – or night! This frustrates Glenn no end so he indulges his sexual impulses by mollycoddling with his masseur Jacko (TJ Morello) and a bevy of anonymous guys (even that guy who stopped him from jumping off a bridge, you better believe it). Kenneth, on the other hand, diligently tends to the needs of Kenjie (Orlando Sol) who’s eternally needy and indigent – kinda like what a sugar daddy does with his ward. Curiously, we don’t find any hint of romantic affection between Kenneth and Kenjie so why the clandestine rendezvous, or the you-and-me-against-mama scenario? This baffles.

Glenn gets exceedingly disheartened. Why isn’t he able to tinker Kenneth’s bells anymore? Is Kenneth getting tintinnabulated by others? Horrors! We ought to call the fireman and cool Glenn down, pronto! One day, Glenn catches Kenneth and Kenjie in tight embrace. The latter is in dire need of Kenneth’s boundless emotional appropriation: “Nag away na naman kami ni Nanay eh,” Kenjie laments, then they hug and caress each other’s trapezius muscles, not to mention that pulsating, if hypertrophied latissimus dorsi. Those darn tight, toned muscles that twitch involuntarily calm their emotional core, you know.

Upon seeing Kenneth and Kenjie snuggle, Glenn conflagrates like the spurned matron. “Ang kakapal talaga! Dito pa!” Glenn confronts the embracing couple and further adds, “Porke ba mas malaki ang titi nya kesa sa akin?” Ouch! I seriously felt sorry for Glenn. My eyes were beginning to well up! Oh heavens, help me! I didn’t know this was a 5-hanky flick! But if you've been observing Anton Nolasco’s sojourn into Pink Cinema, there’s tangible pictographic evidence (in a hundred and one shower scenes) that his appendageal attributes aren’t as modest as he makes us believe. Kenjie’s must then be a venomous cobra? Weeh!

Eirik Cruz and Anton Nolasco

Director GA Villafuerte is as confused – and pedestrian - as ever. His last film “Bahid” might as well be a masterpiece compared to this one. The story is a glorified series of narrative fragments; the strains don’t articulate in manner or form. The biggest question would be: Why do Kenneth and Glenn even bother staying together? They don’t have anything in common; they can’t converse like ordinary human beings; they don’t share even a meal together. Their coupling hails from a drugged out imagination. This might as well have a Shakespearean title: “Much Ado About Nothing”!

Eirik Cruz stars in his first cinematic salvo (His "Bunso" is yet to be screened commercially.) He surely satisfies the “artistahin” criteria unlike most Pink Film studs. He speaks well, be it English or the vernacular, but he mitigates his deliveries with careful, albeit studied elocution, giving a perception of naturalness. He succeeds in some; other times, he comes off like someone cajoling a mentally deficient individual. When he is finally given lines bearing emotional disquiet, this is where he struggles - painfully. His arms act up, flailing awkwardly to his sides and elsewhere, and his face contorts disturbingly. Noobs ought to be guided by insightful director, something that’s not in this production. Yes, Elvis has left the building! With experience and better projects, good looking Cruz just might turn out to be a reliable character actor.

Anton Nolasco, on the other hand, is scaling artistic hurdles of greater magnitude. The character of a wayward Glenn could have showcased his artistry. Unfortunately, like his director, Nolasco mistakes acting in the form of incessant frowns and interminable disgust. He’s eternally angry, even after coitus! You’d wish someone could give him a sedative so he relaxes a bit. What’s worse, when he finally confronts his lover, his effete tendencies flourish like the pink marmalades on a summery Sunday morning!

Mygz Molino (playing Kenneth’s brother Kyro) who’s prominently displayed and billed in the theatrical poster appears for 10 seconds or thereabout. Doing what? Texting and tinkering with his laptop. Then he fades into oblivion. Maybe he gets better exposure in an upcoming film called “Mestizo: A Beautiful Boy” where every guy looks grim and ashen faced; the Pinoy brothers of Edward Cullens. Maybe “Mestizo” is the Pink version of those blood suckers? Why then are they so pale? Iron deficiency anemia? Unless it isn’t blood they’re intent on sucking. J

Eirik Cruz

BEFUDDLING

There are several side stories that muddle the already befuddling narrative: there's Glenn's fractious "rape" by a gang of street urchins (ano yun?); Kenneth’s co-teacher Bernard (Miguel Alcantara) has daydreams (or was that a memory?) of him and Kenneth going at it. Meanwhile, one of his students make a surprising visit in school. Together, they paint the toilet err... “red”? Confused already? Don't worry! It's not you! It gets ridiculous because they could have discarded Bernard's character altogether, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. In fact, while we’re on the subject, they could have discarded THIS movie altogether too!

What’s more painful for the expectant crowd was the sanitized scenes. The production circulated the fact that this was rated X by the MTRCB. They were so proud of that! Meanwhile, the impressionable public expected genitalia galore! Did this segment of the pink public even understand what an X-rating meant? It bluntly meant that there could not be a commercial showing unless they get rid of penises! And to the half a dozen anonymous messages I received complaining about “Id’nal” – even before I reviewed it here – PLEASE direct your complaints to the production outfit! It is clear I am not in any way connected with them – heaven forbid!

Here's a funny thing about "Id'nal". In its desperate bid for promotion, they have made a hundred and one posters, utilizing every forgettable actor doing cameo in the film. Heck they even have a poster of Lloyd Khal Santos who played a doctor for 4 seconds; of Karl Tiuseco who portrayed as one of Kenneth's friends. It's too bad I wasn't in the flick or I'd have gotten my very own blushing theatrical poster! Darn!

While the story furtively seeks its conclusion, the film resorts to a “5 years later” tack. It shows Kenneth (who teaches “English proficiency” and “phonetics” – with mysterious mathematical equation and formulas written on his board – go figure!) looking the same and wearing exactly the same thick-rimmed glasses. Dorian Gray anyone? How well preserved he is, I was amazed. The camera pans to his class – and even the students in attendance were the very same faces who studied there 5 years ago! Will these students ever graduate? Or were they permanent fixtures from here to eternity? Hmmm. Maybe this was de javu? Maybe there’s English 101 in Medicine? Or Law? Or Rocket Science?

Anton Nolasco

Orlando Sol