Ipaglaban Mo's "Riding-in-Tandem" - Vetting Stories and Scraping the Narrative Bottom

I was waiting for Mang Ruben, my driver, who was unusually running late because of an earlier errand he had to run for my mom. I decided to kill time by scouring the television for any interesting show. The first that caught my attention was this beautiful cherubic face looking so forlorn - Albie Casino's.

THE ALBIE CONUNDRUM

Albie Casino's career resurgence is something of a miracle. The erstwhile baby-maker rascal turned out to be a convenient fall guy of a not-so-palatable situation sometime in the past. 

The itchy bitchy one was so confused with her bedtime frolics she couldn't tell who the real father was. Either that or she was just using someone so people would sympathize with her. That prematurely ended a flourishing career and destroyed Albie. Even I was so disgusted with him.  Why am I discussing this? Somehow there are lessons to be learned from his situation, particularly now that he's successfully staged a comeback. Perseverance pays off. He's in indies; in mainstream flicks, in teleseryes, in drama shows, in deodorant commercials. Heck he's even in the scandal sheet for flexing his wares and flashing his magic wand. Indeed, Milton and Mrs. S. Hall were right:"There's a silver lining to every cloud that sails about the heavens if we could only see it." These days, Albie is back with a vengeance.

in "Riding-in-Tandem", Albie plays the role of a reluctant petty thief Fredo (Casino) who's being coerced by the shady Domeng (Jao Mapa) to assist in his dubious deals, i.e. driving a tandem motorbike to snatch bags from unsuspecting pedestrians. 

The VOD (victim of the day) would be Hazel (Ingrid dela Paz), a hard-working girl who has a bratty sick mother to take care of. To cut the long story short, Hazel's bag gets snatched by Domeng who's in a bike driven by Fredo. A concerned taxi driver, Mang Conrado (Smokey Manaloto), who was himself a holdup victim, decides to pursue the tandem. The result was tragic for Fredo, but Domeng was apprehended by the cops. He was charged with "robbery with homicide", due to Fredo's death.

As legal proceedings go, this seemingly petty crime took faster to litigate than most. Domeng was eventually convicted, not of "robbery with homicide" as he didn't directly cause the death of Fredo who was, for all intents and purposes, accomplice to the crime. 

Domeng was eventually convicted of simple "robbery" that will get him imprisonment between 6 months to 4 years and 2 months depending on the judge's decision, circumstances considered.

The story is rather hackneyed and under-developed, but with an hour to tell its story, they have an excuse for its paltry character development. But think "Maalaala Mo Kaya"! They have almost similar running time, yet the series is usually braver and adept in expounding convoluted, albeit difficult stories. So you see, length shouldn't be an excuse. Another point of reference is King Palisoc's "Tandem" (2015) starring JM de Guzman and Nico Antonio. Now that was particularly stirring - with great turns from its more-than competent cast. 

Was Fredo really a victim himself? From the way the snatching was executed, this is highly unlikely. Check out a Youtube  trailer and you will observe that their motorbike was actually driving towards Hazel. Fredo was on the wheel. How can he not know? But that's just how this particular scene was set up. The story is based on real events so the film could have been tweaked for cinematic purposes.

ALBIE ENGAGES

Since "Ipaglaban Mo" is a legal drama that plunges into situations involving crime and punishment, it would sit well if they vet their crime stories more meticulously, instead of this narratively gaunt tale. On point of performance, Albie Casino was particularly engaging. I was going to channel-surf but ended up staying put, not the least of reasons included that gorgeous face. Dear Mr. Casino, if you ever decide to steer clear from doing tandem rides, mirror selfies and self-gratification videos, my house welcomes you for your eternal vacation. Love, Catherine. Tee hee. 

Jao Mapa is rather intense but I have this sneaking suspicion he was trying too hard to don the bad guy's hat. 

Such roles require a dash of subtlety to be truly street-smart credible. Jao on the other hand was loud and livid (see left photo). An insightful perspective isn't borne out of glaring eyes and loud barks.

Smokey Manaloto does better, but this comedian has always been dependable, thanks to his years of experience in the business. As for newcomer Ingrid dela Paz, who plays Hazel, she seems promising. She even reminds me of Shaina Magdayao. Unfortunately, her character isn't particularly momentous,is it? Regardless, may her appearance jumpstart a successful career in the business.

Cathy writes, "Dear. Mr. Casino...

#IMtandem   #jaomapa   #albiecasino   #ingriddelapaz

     

Hostage Ko Multo - Hundred Tired Gags in Cornucopia of Inanities

The title of this Junn P. Cabreira movie, "Hostage Ko Multo" reminds me of the blood curdling Crisaldo Pablo diarrheic stool called "Kiss Meeh, Manananggal Me" that starred the ebullient English patient, Alyssa Alano. Is it as crass, unfocused and imbecilic? Come on, Crisaldo Pablo has really lorded it over the most execrable film works ever released commercially in the Philippines!

"Hostage Ko Multo" is a wee bit better, but not by much.

Capsule

Isko (Smokey Manaloto) and Iska (Mariz Santiago) leave their humdrum lives in Bicol to seek greener pastures in Manila, but with hardly a plan or a place to go, they end up getting robbed off their money. Fortunately, they were mistaken as the new househelps in Don Emilio's (Jun Urbano) household. They find friends in Kikay, the mayordoma (Lea Ledesma), and Jinggoy, the driver (Jacob Medalla). What follows is a steady supply of "Bubble Gang" gags and harmless flirtations of the quartet. A perky musical number is even thrown in to showcase the voice of Iska and Kikay. But just when we were starting to think we were watching the 3rd world version of the "Sound of Music", they introduced another plot device - ghosts! Isko occasionally feels the presence of "ghosts". But they readily forgot this until a gang of thugs attacked the reclusive Chinese businessman Don Emilio - who's constantly shown trimming plants: grapes, hedges, trees, bonsai. Name your plant, he's trimming it!

The delightful household gets hostaged by gun-toting baddies (headed by Robert Miller). They are demanding P50 million pesos. Don Emilio's "chief security officer" (the new King of Over-acting himself, Roldan Aquino) - who's recently undergone circumcision - is helpless as he waits outside the gate. What becomes of the chirpy group of hostages? Whatever happened to the ghosts? If you have the knack of putting elements together, you can summon a good guess, and you just might get it!

Director Junn P. Cabreira's last cinematic venture was a sex drama - "Asawa Mo, Misis Ko" - starring Sheila Ysrael, Via Veloso and Patrick Guzman. This was shown 14 years ago! Prior to that, Cabreira helmed a lot of Joey Marquez sex-comedies ("Mahal, Saan Ka Natulog Kagabi", "Flavor of the Month", "Lover's Delight", "Mahal Ko Ang Mister Mo"). His 90's sensibilities filter throughout "Hostage Ko Multo" as he peppers the whole crap (did i say "crap"? ooopss!) with a hundred and one tired old gags, you'd think you were watching inferior vesions of "Banana Split", "Loko Moko U" or "Bubble Gang".

To illustrate these gags, here are just a few:

Isko (upon reading a sign that says "Wanted: GRO, Waiter, Driver"): "Tanungin natin baka puwedeng mag apply!"

Iska: "Tanga! Wanted ng mga pulis yan!"

***

Kikay: "Heto ang fried chicken. Kain na kayo."

Isko (taking the whole chicken for himself): "Di yan (Iska) kumakain ng kahit na anong hayop na may mukha."

***

A mongo-sized booger (kulangot) is seen just above Isko's upper lip. Kikay and Jinggoy tells him that he has rice above his lips. He proceeds by eating it, then he says, "Di naman kanin yun. Maalat alat eh!" (IMHO, Gross is never funny!)

***

Jinggoy (on Kikay): "Ang huling boyfriend nyan, namatay sa kahihiyan!"

Kikay (on Jinggoy): "Ang huling girlfriend nyan, namatay sa galis!"

***

When Iska complains of the lack of ventilation inside the maid's quarters, Kikay points to the refrigerator near them. She opens the ref and remarks: "Pag gising mo bukas, ice candy ka na!"

***

Kikay instructs Iska to place sugar at the salt container, and salt at the sugar container. When Iska asks why, Kikay replies: "Para wag langgamin!" (Huh?)

***

Isko asks Don Emilio the difference between "dinner" and "supper" - and why he keeps interchanging the two words. His reply: "Ang 'dinner', pag kumakain ako sa labas masarap kasi masarap ang pagkain sa restaurants . 'Supper" kasi I "suffer" pag kinakain ko ang luto ni Kikay!"

Some of the lines really scrape the bottom. When Jinggoy gives Kikay a bunch of roses, she remarks, "Nung huling binigyan mo ako ng rosas, ang dalawang buwang suweldo ko, inutang mo!"

***

Boy: "Ano ang tawag sa lumulutang sa dagat? Nasa letter S."

Girl: "Sirena"

Boy: "Hindi siya babae."

Girl: "Syokoy"

Boy: "Di sya lalaki."

Girl: "Syoki!"

Boy: "Eh di Salbabida!"

***

Isko: "Ba't laging Chinese ang kinikidnap?"

Don Emilio: "Kasi pag Pinoy, hulugan. Pag Bombay, 5:6. Pag Amerikano, credit card. Pag Chinese, cash!"

Despite a trite material, Smokey Manaloto mines his comedic flair, making the tired inanities bearable. It also helps that editing is brisk, giving the gags and their punchlines perfunctory character. Awkward executions, common among indie directors, are kept to a minimum. This should be attributable to Director Cabreira's long experience in the industry. Even the newbies: Jacob Medalla, Lea Ledesma, Mariz Santiago, do their effusive best to catch up with Manaloto and Jun Urbano (who does his bit of Mr. Shooli here, with his tsinoy speak). The newcomers occasionally falter with insipid punch lines and unmoderated reactions, but there's really so much you can do with the material. At the very least, you could give them a pat for their enthusiasm.

This cinematic smorgasbord feels like a glorified and expanded TV gag show. An easy clue on its unfocused concept is flaunted by its title: "Hostage Ko Multo"! Taking the first person, it is obvious that the "titular" character ("ko") is either Smokey Manaloto or Jun Urbano, but why would either Isko or Don Emiliano hostage ghosts? They were the hostages, for Pete's sake! Not the ghosts! But "Hostage Ko Multo" rhymes, doesn't it?

Titular rhyming is sometimes more important than rational titling, right?

Six footer Jacob Medalla plays driver Jinggoy.

Leah Ledesma plays mayordoma Kikay who has her eyes on conceited Jinggoy.