Jun Urbano's "Ibong Adarna - The Pinoy Adventure" - Cutting Down Classic

In the kingdom of Maharlika, Sultan Mabait (Joel Torre) reigns over his people with Queen Mabuti (Angel Aquino) and their son Sigasig (Rocco Nacino). The royal family is well loved by their people. But not Datu Maimbot (Leo Martinez), Mabait’s ambitious brother, who dreams of becoming king.

When Mabait falls morbidly ill, thanks to the incantations of a witch (Lilia Cuntapay) tasked by the duplicitous Datu Maimbot, the royal family went out of options. No medicine could cure the beloved ruler as his health briskly deteriorates. Sigasig, as "salinlahi" and a dutiful son, is sent to seek the advice of the Nuno (Gary Lising) who then spoke of a magical bird, the Adarna, whose ethereal singing could cure any illness. Moreover, this avian is believed to excrete gold and other riches. But the path to the mythical bird is arduous and treacherous; and death is imminent. Aware that this was the sultan’s only chance for recovery, Sigasig sets off for the bird-catching adventure. Maimbot, along with bumbling sidekick Sipsipayo (Benjie Paras), volunteers to join his nephew, with the intention of stealing the bird from Sigasig.

On his way to Lupang Tigang, Sigasig strays away from his uncle and meets a motley of characters who become either an ally or obstacle: the Aeta child Labuyo (whose task is to assist the gentle heir); fierce Bontok warrior Dulamkaw (Ronnie Lazaro); and a thirsty beggar who transforms into a deity, diwatang Masuri (Patricia Hernandez).

With Sigasig’s benevolence and kind heart, the encantada offers him gifts for his journey: “sagitsit”, a plant to be poured over self-inflicted wounds so he won’t be lulled to sleep when the Adarna starts singing its sleep-inducing songs – and a “salakot” (a wide-brimmed hat) that protects him against bird droppings that turn men into stone. Will Sigasig be able to catch the Adarna for his dying father? Guess.

This folkloric tale is loosely based on a sprawling 18^th century epic called “Ibong Adarna”, aka "Corrido at Buhay na Pinagdaanan nang Tatlóng Principeng anac nang Haring Fernando at nang Reina Valeriana sa Cahariang Berbania" written by someone who goes by the name of Jose dela Cruz – “Huseng Sisiw” – whose real identity was never uncovered.

The “korido”, a Filipino literary form, came about during the 300-year rule of the Spaniards in the archipelago. It has precise measure, i.e. it contains 8 syllables per line, and 4 lines per verse. Moreover, this poetic form was sung through before an audience. In Adarna, we follow the lives of a king and his three sons, Don Pedro, Don Diego and Don Juan. The story itself is convoluted; one that would probably make good material for a protracted “teleserye” because of its plot contrivance and narrative roller coaster.

ADAPTATIONS

GMA Network based its recent television series – “Adarna” which starred Kylie Padilla and Geoff Eigenmann - from this literary work. But there were prior incarnations on celluloid: Manuel Conde, National Artist for Cinema, and more importantly Urbano’s father, directed “Ibong Adarna” twice – a black-and-white flick released in war-torn 1941 which starred Mila del Sol and Fred Cortes, and its color remake in 1945. Dolphy had a couple of Adarna films in 1972 (“Ibong Adarna”) and 1973 (“Ang Hiwaga ng Ibong Adarna”). Even Rene Requiestas had his parody, “Si Prinsipe Abante At Ang Lihim ng Ibong Adarna" (1990).

These loose adaptations are a proof of the creative scale of the story. I can only dream of a more faithful adaptation featuring an all-star cast, duly produced by, hmmm, say the National Commission for Culture and the Arts (NCCA) and directed by either Lav Diaz (because it’s going to be a long movie) or Aureus Solito (because he is familiar with the subculture of ethnicities). Imagine that! This is of course wishful thinking.

Jun Urbano’s “Ibong Adarna”, as homage to his father, takes a narrative detour in more ways than you can imagine to suit (probably) the production’s finances. That the fabled Adarna eventually transforms into a beautiful princess makes the narrative a tad derivative (“Frog Prince”, “Beauty and the Beast”). Production values likewise tend to be mediocre. In fact, the mythologic “richness” could have been mined further but eventually settles into one that’s run-of-the-mill.

Rocco Nacino suits the dashing, kind-hearted and valiant prince, but he’s mostly wasted by the gaunt, if humdrum characterization. Leo Martinez, once again overbakes his comedic affectations, but his slapstick artifice (delivering familiar aphorisms, then clinches his line with, “Ay tanga!”) soon wears out its novelty. Joel Torre makes the most of his underwritten character. Angel Aquino, while decidedly competent, wears her queen a bit too seriously (after all, her “king” is on death bed). However, you get a nagging feeling that she’s performing on a wayward level, like a discordant note playing on a different musical scale.

There are few moments that will entertain: like when Sigasig and Labuyo ride a giant kite flown by a humongous bird; or when Sigasig escapes from a ravenous giant; or when the Adarna (voiced by Lara Maigue) starts singing her dissonant melodies. There are moments that for a split second take you back to your childhood. But these are way too fleeting to really indulge or enjoy. Once reality slaps you right back, you realize that, in this film adaptation, there isn't much to munch on other than its predictable strain.

If you think this is the “Ibong Adarna” assigned for reading among first year high school students (as Jose Rizal’s “Noli Me Tangere” is for sophomores, and so on), you’d be disappointed. This doesn't even have three clashing brothers. But if you like birds transforming into beautiful princesses like that other fairy tale, you may want to reconsider.  

Who wants to paraglide?

Finding the tree of the Adarna.

Hungry carnivorous giant Dagungdong.

Crossing "tulay na poon".

Ronnie Lazaro questions Rocco's motives?

Patricia Hernandez plays Diwatang Masuri

Note:

Please read our featured post on Cinema Bravo and why Web Criticism isn't always about good and credible writing:
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html

Hostage Ko Multo - Hundred Tired Gags in Cornucopia of Inanities

The title of this Junn P. Cabreira movie, "Hostage Ko Multo" reminds me of the blood curdling Crisaldo Pablo diarrheic stool called "Kiss Meeh, Manananggal Me" that starred the ebullient English patient, Alyssa Alano. Is it as crass, unfocused and imbecilic? Come on, Crisaldo Pablo has really lorded it over the most execrable film works ever released commercially in the Philippines!

"Hostage Ko Multo" is a wee bit better, but not by much.

Capsule

Isko (Smokey Manaloto) and Iska (Mariz Santiago) leave their humdrum lives in Bicol to seek greener pastures in Manila, but with hardly a plan or a place to go, they end up getting robbed off their money. Fortunately, they were mistaken as the new househelps in Don Emilio's (Jun Urbano) household. They find friends in Kikay, the mayordoma (Lea Ledesma), and Jinggoy, the driver (Jacob Medalla). What follows is a steady supply of "Bubble Gang" gags and harmless flirtations of the quartet. A perky musical number is even thrown in to showcase the voice of Iska and Kikay. But just when we were starting to think we were watching the 3rd world version of the "Sound of Music", they introduced another plot device - ghosts! Isko occasionally feels the presence of "ghosts". But they readily forgot this until a gang of thugs attacked the reclusive Chinese businessman Don Emilio - who's constantly shown trimming plants: grapes, hedges, trees, bonsai. Name your plant, he's trimming it!

The delightful household gets hostaged by gun-toting baddies (headed by Robert Miller). They are demanding P50 million pesos. Don Emilio's "chief security officer" (the new King of Over-acting himself, Roldan Aquino) - who's recently undergone circumcision - is helpless as he waits outside the gate. What becomes of the chirpy group of hostages? Whatever happened to the ghosts? If you have the knack of putting elements together, you can summon a good guess, and you just might get it!

Director Junn P. Cabreira's last cinematic venture was a sex drama - "Asawa Mo, Misis Ko" - starring Sheila Ysrael, Via Veloso and Patrick Guzman. This was shown 14 years ago! Prior to that, Cabreira helmed a lot of Joey Marquez sex-comedies ("Mahal, Saan Ka Natulog Kagabi", "Flavor of the Month", "Lover's Delight", "Mahal Ko Ang Mister Mo"). His 90's sensibilities filter throughout "Hostage Ko Multo" as he peppers the whole crap (did i say "crap"? ooopss!) with a hundred and one tired old gags, you'd think you were watching inferior vesions of "Banana Split", "Loko Moko U" or "Bubble Gang".

To illustrate these gags, here are just a few:

Isko (upon reading a sign that says "Wanted: GRO, Waiter, Driver"): "Tanungin natin baka puwedeng mag apply!"

Iska: "Tanga! Wanted ng mga pulis yan!"

***

Kikay: "Heto ang fried chicken. Kain na kayo."

Isko (taking the whole chicken for himself): "Di yan (Iska) kumakain ng kahit na anong hayop na may mukha."

***

A mongo-sized booger (kulangot) is seen just above Isko's upper lip. Kikay and Jinggoy tells him that he has rice above his lips. He proceeds by eating it, then he says, "Di naman kanin yun. Maalat alat eh!" (IMHO, Gross is never funny!)

***

Jinggoy (on Kikay): "Ang huling boyfriend nyan, namatay sa kahihiyan!"

Kikay (on Jinggoy): "Ang huling girlfriend nyan, namatay sa galis!"

***

When Iska complains of the lack of ventilation inside the maid's quarters, Kikay points to the refrigerator near them. She opens the ref and remarks: "Pag gising mo bukas, ice candy ka na!"

***

Kikay instructs Iska to place sugar at the salt container, and salt at the sugar container. When Iska asks why, Kikay replies: "Para wag langgamin!" (Huh?)

***

Isko asks Don Emilio the difference between "dinner" and "supper" - and why he keeps interchanging the two words. His reply: "Ang 'dinner', pag kumakain ako sa labas masarap kasi masarap ang pagkain sa restaurants . 'Supper" kasi I "suffer" pag kinakain ko ang luto ni Kikay!"

Some of the lines really scrape the bottom. When Jinggoy gives Kikay a bunch of roses, she remarks, "Nung huling binigyan mo ako ng rosas, ang dalawang buwang suweldo ko, inutang mo!"

***

Boy: "Ano ang tawag sa lumulutang sa dagat? Nasa letter S."

Girl: "Sirena"

Boy: "Hindi siya babae."

Girl: "Syokoy"

Boy: "Di sya lalaki."

Girl: "Syoki!"

Boy: "Eh di Salbabida!"

***

Isko: "Ba't laging Chinese ang kinikidnap?"

Don Emilio: "Kasi pag Pinoy, hulugan. Pag Bombay, 5:6. Pag Amerikano, credit card. Pag Chinese, cash!"

Despite a trite material, Smokey Manaloto mines his comedic flair, making the tired inanities bearable. It also helps that editing is brisk, giving the gags and their punchlines perfunctory character. Awkward executions, common among indie directors, are kept to a minimum. This should be attributable to Director Cabreira's long experience in the industry. Even the newbies: Jacob Medalla, Lea Ledesma, Mariz Santiago, do their effusive best to catch up with Manaloto and Jun Urbano (who does his bit of Mr. Shooli here, with his tsinoy speak). The newcomers occasionally falter with insipid punch lines and unmoderated reactions, but there's really so much you can do with the material. At the very least, you could give them a pat for their enthusiasm.

This cinematic smorgasbord feels like a glorified and expanded TV gag show. An easy clue on its unfocused concept is flaunted by its title: "Hostage Ko Multo"! Taking the first person, it is obvious that the "titular" character ("ko") is either Smokey Manaloto or Jun Urbano, but why would either Isko or Don Emiliano hostage ghosts? They were the hostages, for Pete's sake! Not the ghosts! But "Hostage Ko Multo" rhymes, doesn't it?

Titular rhyming is sometimes more important than rational titling, right?

Six footer Jacob Medalla plays driver Jinggoy.

Leah Ledesma plays mayordoma Kikay who has her eyes on conceited Jinggoy.

Erich and Enchong Captivate Audience in “I Do”

Do we really dive into marriage, all body and soul, without much trepidation? Regardless of how much we love another person with every strand and cellular component of our being, there will always be a part of ourselves wanting to remain unencumbered by commitment. People are, after all, born alone. We do not come into this world with a bunch of friends. This reality, though heavily ignored, emphasizes a person’s need for the occasional solitude. The concept of marriage threatens this. But we sometimes have to decide exclusively for ourselves, most especially when it involves a more immediate reason staring right back at us. But that is easier said than done.

A pair of young lovers learn the hard way.

Mayumi (Erich Gonzales) and Lance (Enchong Dee) don’t share the same thoughts on love. To her, it’s the inescapable hand of fate. To him, it all equates to choice. But one day, they meet at a friend’s wedding and a force more powerful than gravity drew them together. Theirs was a match made in heaven, until Yumi realizes she’s pregnant. This throws Lance out on a loop, but the young couple (who’s finishing college) eventually decides to inform Yumi’s parents (Dennis Padilla and Pokwang) who agree with their decision to defer marriage until after their graduation. But where does this place Lance’s close-knit, albeit clueless Chinese family?

While Lance finds it difficult to introduce Yumi to his parents (Isay Alvarez and Ricardo Cepeda), he nevertheless invites her to his angcong’s (family patriarch, and Lance’s grandfather) birthday party. She puts her best foot forward to charm their pants off. But it soon becomes clear that old family traditions as rigidly bigoted as some Chinoy families (“Ang Chinese ay para sa Chinese.”) are Yumi’s biggest stumbling block in her quest for acceptance. This doesn’t stop the couple from planning the big date (in a hilarious scene where Lance drops a ring and Yumi catches him kneeling down in front of her). This would take Yumi and Lance’s romance on a zany rollercoaster ride. Will they ever get to say “I do”?

Erich Gonzales shows why she deserves lead roles, and she does so with effervescent charm and an endearingly insightful take on Mayumi. In one scene, she cries with skeptical elation as Lance declares his affection, and all she could say was an adorable, “Di nga?” In another scene, she whimpers with a simple, “Ayaw nya kasi akong pakasalan eh.” Yet we feel the distress of someone who’s been dismissed many times over. Which other star can impart those salient emotions in conspicuously meager lines? I can only think of two names, and not more. Real talent indeed doesn’t need kilometric spiels to highlight an emotion, and it is in this essence that we truly adore the talent of this young lady!

Enchong Dee on the other hand complements Erich’s bubbly persona with his characterization of a pessimistic Lance. The yin and the yang would never function if both “elements” tip the same scale. Having said this, we are prone to emphasize that Enchong is an intuitive young actor, if only he doesn't fret like a child – or worse, a girl. In the film, Lance is a grown up man who can father babies. Indeed, in some scenes, he needs a little bit more “machismo” – a shot of testosterone, a flexing of the muscle; a more tempered, nay, modulated delivery. The production could have benefited by giving him swimming scenes where he could parade and flex his swimming muscles, just to emphasize gender assignation. It’s a long shot, but at least the audience is reminded that “Enchong is our man” - and not some childish cuckoo who talks to his car! And with a delectable swimming body like his, who would forget? Furthermore, legendary leading men like Rock Hudson and Cary Grant never had lips redder than their leading ladies, did they?

I’m also partial to the supporting characters. Dennis Padilla is particularly affecting. This observation is significant because Padilla’s role as Mang Caloy (Yumi’s father) is a comic one, but he effectively imbues it with the perfect paternal veneer. We laugh when he throws used appliances at the Tans (Lance’s family), then we shed a tear for his despair. Pokwang isn’t that successful, which is disappointing because I like her. Ditto with Melai Cantiveros who has always been such a darling on the small screen. She can ridiculously reduce me into stitches with a deadpan, “Over over” or “Chok”! Unfortunately, Melissa’s character is nothing but an irritating, inconsequential speck. Her presence in the movie is like walking on glazed tiles with scratchy grains of sand on your shoes!

Janus del Prado’s Bernard could have been amiable to the very end, but the writer should have known when not to over stay his character’s welcome. Alwyn Uytingco is turning out to be one of the industry’s most dependable character actors. We also like Jun Urbano’s angcong; the moderated grace of Isay Alvarez as Lance’s mother, and that darling Eliza Pineda who plays Lance’s youngest sister. The movie is filled with amiable characters and this is one of the reasons why the film works.

I do have an issue with the Chinese cultural preference that “Ang Chinese ay para sa Chinese lamang”. If that’s the case, it’s quite easy – and cheap – these days to move away to China. I won’t stop them, obviously! They are free to head back to old-world Communism and old-world practices they see fit. Any Chinoy who bears such prejudiced thoughts should rid themselves of all the Filipinos by getting the f___ off this country, di ba? Might as well make this country a "Philippines for Filipinos only". That had to be said!

Veronica Velasco, in her very first mainstream work as a director (Unitel who produced "Inang Yaya" is still considered an indie film outfit), doesn’t just pass muster. In my book, she soars the cinematic skies with a hundred and one colors. I am particularly pleased with her narrative style: her characters always beat nauseatingly recurring odds (Maricel Soriano’s household chores as nanny Norma in “Inang Yaya”; Jodi Sta. Maria and Victor Basa as the runaway couple who pretends to be husband and wife in “Maling Akala”; and the hilarious Joey Paras as the gay P.A. who lost a wall tapestry in “Last Supper No. 3”). Velasco's main characters are endowed with the virtue of patience, and this isn’t lost in Yumi’s character who suffered several rejections not just from Lance’s family, but from Lance himself. Sure, this may have turned tedious and even dragged the exposition in the middle part of the story, but the ultimate payback is nothing less than inspiring!

Enchong Dee: charm and sensitivity.

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

The good news is, when I watched the movie on a Thursday afternoon, I was surprised to find the huge theater almost fully occupied – on a dead hour. The bad news is, Erich Gonzales is allegedly starting to act like a diva on the set and elsewhere. Heaven knows I like this girl, but just like an over inflated balloon, such excesses will ultimately burst into nothing but tattered pieces of plastic. So let this be false! I don’t want to loathe her, as she’s too talented to be disliked.

And didn’t you hear that “I Do” couldn’t even muster a B-rating from the Cinema Evaluations Board (CEB)? The hearsay goes, “It wasn’t funny enough!” according to the reviewing board, which goes to highlight the range of brain activity among CEB’s flock. If they probably placed Gil Portes as this movie’s co-director or line producer, "I Do" could have surely bagged an A-rating! Di ba, “Pitik Bulag”? Di ba, “Two Funerals”? And yes, honey, I did a glowing review of the latter which goes to show that regardless of the quality of his films, any Gil Portes film – good or bad - will always merit an A-rating. Isn’t it about time that this sad excuse of a pseudo-ratings board is scrapped? That way, we can rightfully put their otherwise unemployed members out to pasture!

Enchong Dee should "man up" and flex is muscles, so to speak.