Jigz Recto's "Binatilyo" - A Caterwauling Fete (An Unpublished Post from 2012)

Vintage Blush? Well, this is an article we weren't able to publish for some reason, but this had an original post date of November 8, 2012 - 4 long years ago. It had Jao Mapa too. It was one of those pink films that flourished that time. I am sure some of the followers of this blog have missed the spunk and irreverence we've dedicated towards the exploitation and vapid film-making that proliferated back then. I didn't really care about the associated metrics, but when each post was being read by between 8,000 and 18,000 people, you realize that you must have done something right. After all, this is a text-heavy blogsite so I know that my readers aren't illiterates. They also have impeccable taste. Tee hee. So here goes.

STORY

TJ (Norris John) is infatuated with his classmate Karla (Lili Montelibano). But TJ isn't the school’s most popular student. In fact, he gets brickbats for his father Dading’s (Jao Mapa) effete ways: “malamya, malambot, kumekendeng”. A few days before Karla’s birthday, TJ gets a reprieve from Karla’s snootiness. If TJ can provide her with a new smart phone - as gift, of course - for her birthday, then he’s welcome to court her! Quite the opportunist, isn't she? So what’s a guy to do? His very own cell phone is ten years past its prime and held together by an adhesive.

At home, he badgers his impoverished, albeit hard-working parents for the fashionable gadget. Truth to tell, TJ’s foible is a vice his family can’t afford. But his attentive and persevering father works even harder and appropriates a good chunk of his earning, much to the consternation of TJ's mom  Elma (Angela Ruiz). The boy is getting impatient because Karla’s birthday is close by. TJ turns to his best friend (Winston de Dios, “Sulot“, “Rigodon”) who moonlights as an exotic dancer and hustler. Lulu (Lorraine Lopez), TJ’s classmate and overt admirer, is only too happy with this development. She wants a piece of TJ’s inches as much as she enjoys his best friend’s. Little did TJ realize that Lulu is a nefarious henchman’s girlfriend. This gets TJ into trouble.  

Karla’s birthday comes, but Dading’s hidden stash is confiscated by his wife. What’s a father to do? Will TJ ever find the acceptance from Karla? Will there be enough cellphones in the Philippines in time for the opportunist's birthday? I shiver.

TJ (Norris John) despises his father.

Director Jigz Recto once again weaves another unctuous and exceedingly mawkish mixbag of melodrama and Pink-leaning narrative. “Binatilyo” is, in fact, one of the most painful films to watch, reminiscent of the protracted scenes from “Dulas” and “Kasalo”, both directed by the same director.  These films stretch the dramatic scenes much longer than you can say "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis". 

Just when you thought the protracted aria has been delivered, the emotive gravity resumes again with another set of caterwauling that burrows deep inside your head. I have been sensitized to these cinematic punishments, but this flick has tested my patience. I was this close to walking out. 

Clueless directors believe that they could milk their dramatic tableau by expanding their dramatic scenes. This isn't a case of “the longer, the better”, or is it? Norris, who isn't a tall guy, would surely not agree either. The boyish actor works hard and though he succeeds to personify the spoiled rotten juvenile, his characterization is hobbled by the non-expository ethos of his cinematic persona. It’s hard to swallow how a once-loving son has transmogrified into this insensitive brat. 

Elma and son TJ (Angela Ruiz and Norris John)

DEUS EX MACHINA

It’s quite apparent that the ministrations fueling the narrative are meant as deus ex machina. The inclusion of Lulu’s gun-toting beau and TJ’s best friend is perplexing. When prodigal TJ comes home, he learns that his father died looking for him (TJ saw him in a gay bar and thought that his father has come out of the closet when, in fact, he was there to work as a waiter so he could earn more money to buy a new phone for his son). He further learns of his mother’s ornery past: When she got pregnant, his boyfriend ditched her. Kind-hearted Dading comes to the rescue and assumes the responsibility as husband and father. This he did despite being as queer as a three dollar bill, so to speak.

After Elma’s confession, TJ gets a 30-minute crying spell. It was night time. The next day, he visits his father’s grave and another lachrymose caterwauling arises. You wonder where prodigal TJ went that he didn't even catch the loooong wake – and the burial. Did he maybe peddle his flesh overseas? Like Okinawa or Antananarivo, maybe? But he was just enjoying a staycation with his classmate. Why wasn't he told? But the most blatant antagony is the crux that fuels the story: What guy in his right mind would purchase a smart phone for a pompous girl who isn't even his girl friend yet? The story is riddled with holes the size of the supermoon.

The Pink element appears when, one night, a drunk TJ gives Winston’s a visit who then “attends” to his friend's drunken stupor, undressing him and giving him a diligent, thorough, and refreshing sponge bath. Ayayay pag-ibig, coos Ara Mina. What are friends for, debah? By sunrise, TJ finds himself glisteningly speckless and exfoliated. 

“Binatilyo” is one of the most excruciating flicks I’ve seen this year. It’s a “buwis buhay” experience. Someone deserves to be tied on a tree teeming with fire ants. Either that - or he deserves to be shipped somewhere where transport only comes once every 50 years. No... make it 70!

TJ daydreams of Karla (above) then rollings in the hay with Lulu.

Gay husband Dading and wife Elma.

Lulu

Winston de Dios and Norris John

Norris John

Norris John

Note:

Read our feature Cinema Bravo and Web Criticism? :
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html


#pinkfilm   #binatilyo  #norrisjohn   #jaomapa

Paul Singh Cudail's Sulot - When Planting Camote Becomes an Option

Allen (Ralph Louie) is a relatively successful guy. He lives in a furnished home (his parents moved to Canada and he can fly anytime he wants to join them), and has disposable cash to spare. He rents out a room for his buddy Dondie (Winston de Dios, photo below). Problem is, Dondie hasn’t been paying. The latter’s short on cash, “Pero kung gusto mo,” cajoles the indignant Dondie, “Pumasok ka sa kuwarto ko.” (If you want, come inside my room.) So he does!

Meanwhile, Robie (Alex Madrid) is having a bad day. After leaving his job (as waiter) in Sta. Cruz, he’s homeward bound “sa probinsya”, but before that happens, fate serves him a double whammy. Not only is his borrowed motorbike stolen, his bag’s snatched and his wallet’s mulcted! But things are looking up when, that same day, he runs into Allen, a high school classmate. Allen invites Robie home where he lends him P5,000.

Later that day, Allen finds Robie comfortably sitting in his living room. Robie’s decided to stay for a few days until he’s figured out a few things. They share a bed together. That night, Allen fights temptations to fondle his old friend. He finds Dondie downstairs and once again, tintinnabulate his non-paying boarder’s bells, unaware that Robie’s peeping from above.

In the morning, Allen offers Robie a job at the bank where he works as a loan external service provider, aka loan officer. He’s offered the same position to Dondie who’s already building a house of his own. Desperate Robie wants more so he devises a plan that would have Allen lending him more (Robie has to pay for the stolen bike), but his ruse was unearthed when Robie inadvertently leaves his cellphone in the room. Moreover, Robie and Dondie managed to steal (thus “sulot”) Allen’s account – an approveable loan worth P2 million pesos! This would guarantee the conniving duo a commission of P100,000. As if that wasn’t exciting enough, Allen has latched on to their scheme.

Director Paul Singh Cudail has been writing these revolting pink film scripts in the last couple of years. Is he better as a director now that he has carte blanche, i.e. full discretionary control over his own script (“Tiyo Pablo”, “Lagpas”) ? Turns out he is as clueless as a megman as he is as a writer, and even more so! He even has trouble delineating a timeline between scenes so that events that should take place 2 weeks hence feels like a continuation of a previous scene. His actors are left to their own devices that you would notice their tentative movements.

Let’s take, for example, the scene where Robie loses his bike on the street. When he learns of this, he runs after the thief. He stands on the road and looks as though his bubblegum has been nicked! The gravity of the situation doesn’t register much on his face. In fact, it’s the same facies he wears when he eventually meets his old friend Allen. And before we even proceed, did he actually forget to tell his friend that he’s been robbed 3 times over? Wouldn’t it be easier to wheedle help and sympathy if you told your friend of your moments of extreme idiocy, nay misfortune? Of course he doesn’t, but he nevertheless imposes his presence by freeloading off his friend!

Now I understand that the Pink Film industry has been proudly peddling what I’d call “Moron Cinema” in the last 3 years or so, but something has to be said about the mind set of these exploitative film makers (Crisaldo Pablo: check! Monti Parungao: check! Lucas Mercado: check!) Is it too much to ask to use your thinking cap when you’re telling a story? You have an audience who pays P170 for these inanities. The least you can do is make sense, tell legible narrative strains – even if you can’t help but showcase the “short” in the shortcomings of your actors!

KING OF THE BATHING SCENES

And yes, Winston de Dios shows, once again, that he’s king of the bathing scenes. He’s been very generous in fearlessly soaping away his “jewels” in Lucas Mercado’s “Rigodon” (he must have had half a dozen frontals: in bathrooms, bedrooms, lakes, waterfalls, forest). He isn’t bashful here either. But I am telling you, the male appendage isn’t a perky anatomical protuberance when in contact with water and soap. Thus, most that you see is a shy infant lathered and foamed like he’s been wallowing in a muddy puddle! Durrty durrty child, indeed! Let’s wash that baby away! LOL . What's funnier, his bathroom scenes look exactly similar to his “Rigodon” scenes!

Alex Madrid, who plays Robie, wears a single facial expression for the whole 70 minute duration of the flick, he might as well wear a mask to rest his stern and morose expression! Yup, he has the body – it’s well sculpted, and I could probably discern an 8-pack, but you just know that there are hundreds of gym buffs out there! He shows off his shrunken jewel in another full-frontal scene too, but “raisins” can’t be flattering, right? Furthermore, the term “artistahin” doesn’t exactly refer to the physical frame, but the “face” – the “look”! And that doesn’t check out here! When we’re denied a legible story, execution, production value and cinematic sanity, we're left with the thought that there's a “handsome face” to save the day! But that doesn't happen here either! This drought of physical beauty is starting to worry me!

Ralph Louie plays banker Allen who never sets foot in a bank! In fact, we’re never near any financial institution, except Allen’s dresser, where he just enveigles cash from some magic door! It’s funny how Louie reminds me of Edz Espiritu’s “Tiyo Pablo” (scripted by Cudail himself). In fact I thought this was the same actor (of course, he wasn’t; that was Martin Cortes).

And since when were waiters readily qualified for a banking position? Moreover, I didn’t realize that loan officers earn so much by doing so little. He just submits requirements and voila, he's already capable of building a house (like Robie)! Imagine that! Isn't this getting very educational by the minute? Do you know how easy it is to loan 2 million bucks? Listen and learn: “Send me his date of birth,” quipped Allen, “… so I can do a car check!” Peanuts, right? Using collateral that’s worth under a million for a two million loan. Such resplendent idea, I am stumped!

TELEPORTATION MUSIC

One of the things that the production took note of was its music score. There’s not a lot of canned music here, but they have succeeded in utilizing some of the most bizarre, peculiar electronica soundtrack that transported me to the realm of science fiction. I could swear, I half expected Allen’s butt to open into an all-consuming black hole and teleport his shower-loving boarders! Gives me the creeps!

Sometimes you wonder why planting camote (sweet potato, batata) isn’t a more productive endeavor for people like Mr. Paul Singh Cudail!

Don't you?

I was also wondering why the production used "inverted color" for their poster (above, topmost poster) - why mere silhouettes of their 3 characters? Simple! Because the guys on the poster aren't any of the 3 guys in the film! (Thanks to the inverting property of "Paint"!)They can't even afford an appropriate poster, now isn't that hilarious?