Jun Urbano's "Ibong Adarna - The Pinoy Adventure" - Cutting Down Classic

In the kingdom of Maharlika, Sultan Mabait (Joel Torre) reigns over his people with Queen Mabuti (Angel Aquino) and their son Sigasig (Rocco Nacino). The royal family is well loved by their people. But not Datu Maimbot (Leo Martinez), Mabait’s ambitious brother, who dreams of becoming king.

When Mabait falls morbidly ill, thanks to the incantations of a witch (Lilia Cuntapay) tasked by the duplicitous Datu Maimbot, the royal family went out of options. No medicine could cure the beloved ruler as his health briskly deteriorates. Sigasig, as "salinlahi" and a dutiful son, is sent to seek the advice of the Nuno (Gary Lising) who then spoke of a magical bird, the Adarna, whose ethereal singing could cure any illness. Moreover, this avian is believed to excrete gold and other riches. But the path to the mythical bird is arduous and treacherous; and death is imminent. Aware that this was the sultan’s only chance for recovery, Sigasig sets off for the bird-catching adventure. Maimbot, along with bumbling sidekick Sipsipayo (Benjie Paras), volunteers to join his nephew, with the intention of stealing the bird from Sigasig.

On his way to Lupang Tigang, Sigasig strays away from his uncle and meets a motley of characters who become either an ally or obstacle: the Aeta child Labuyo (whose task is to assist the gentle heir); fierce Bontok warrior Dulamkaw (Ronnie Lazaro); and a thirsty beggar who transforms into a deity, diwatang Masuri (Patricia Hernandez).

With Sigasig’s benevolence and kind heart, the encantada offers him gifts for his journey: “sagitsit”, a plant to be poured over self-inflicted wounds so he won’t be lulled to sleep when the Adarna starts singing its sleep-inducing songs – and a “salakot” (a wide-brimmed hat) that protects him against bird droppings that turn men into stone. Will Sigasig be able to catch the Adarna for his dying father? Guess.

This folkloric tale is loosely based on a sprawling 18^th century epic called “Ibong Adarna”, aka "Corrido at Buhay na Pinagdaanan nang Tatlóng Principeng anac nang Haring Fernando at nang Reina Valeriana sa Cahariang Berbania" written by someone who goes by the name of Jose dela Cruz – “Huseng Sisiw” – whose real identity was never uncovered.

The “korido”, a Filipino literary form, came about during the 300-year rule of the Spaniards in the archipelago. It has precise measure, i.e. it contains 8 syllables per line, and 4 lines per verse. Moreover, this poetic form was sung through before an audience. In Adarna, we follow the lives of a king and his three sons, Don Pedro, Don Diego and Don Juan. The story itself is convoluted; one that would probably make good material for a protracted “teleserye” because of its plot contrivance and narrative roller coaster.

ADAPTATIONS

GMA Network based its recent television series – “Adarna” which starred Kylie Padilla and Geoff Eigenmann - from this literary work. But there were prior incarnations on celluloid: Manuel Conde, National Artist for Cinema, and more importantly Urbano’s father, directed “Ibong Adarna” twice – a black-and-white flick released in war-torn 1941 which starred Mila del Sol and Fred Cortes, and its color remake in 1945. Dolphy had a couple of Adarna films in 1972 (“Ibong Adarna”) and 1973 (“Ang Hiwaga ng Ibong Adarna”). Even Rene Requiestas had his parody, “Si Prinsipe Abante At Ang Lihim ng Ibong Adarna" (1990).

These loose adaptations are a proof of the creative scale of the story. I can only dream of a more faithful adaptation featuring an all-star cast, duly produced by, hmmm, say the National Commission for Culture and the Arts (NCCA) and directed by either Lav Diaz (because it’s going to be a long movie) or Aureus Solito (because he is familiar with the subculture of ethnicities). Imagine that! This is of course wishful thinking.

Jun Urbano’s “Ibong Adarna”, as homage to his father, takes a narrative detour in more ways than you can imagine to suit (probably) the production’s finances. That the fabled Adarna eventually transforms into a beautiful princess makes the narrative a tad derivative (“Frog Prince”, “Beauty and the Beast”). Production values likewise tend to be mediocre. In fact, the mythologic “richness” could have been mined further but eventually settles into one that’s run-of-the-mill.

Rocco Nacino suits the dashing, kind-hearted and valiant prince, but he’s mostly wasted by the gaunt, if humdrum characterization. Leo Martinez, once again overbakes his comedic affectations, but his slapstick artifice (delivering familiar aphorisms, then clinches his line with, “Ay tanga!”) soon wears out its novelty. Joel Torre makes the most of his underwritten character. Angel Aquino, while decidedly competent, wears her queen a bit too seriously (after all, her “king” is on death bed). However, you get a nagging feeling that she’s performing on a wayward level, like a discordant note playing on a different musical scale.

There are few moments that will entertain: like when Sigasig and Labuyo ride a giant kite flown by a humongous bird; or when Sigasig escapes from a ravenous giant; or when the Adarna (voiced by Lara Maigue) starts singing her dissonant melodies. There are moments that for a split second take you back to your childhood. But these are way too fleeting to really indulge or enjoy. Once reality slaps you right back, you realize that, in this film adaptation, there isn't much to munch on other than its predictable strain.

If you think this is the “Ibong Adarna” assigned for reading among first year high school students (as Jose Rizal’s “Noli Me Tangere” is for sophomores, and so on), you’d be disappointed. This doesn't even have three clashing brothers. But if you like birds transforming into beautiful princesses like that other fairy tale, you may want to reconsider.  

Who wants to paraglide?

Finding the tree of the Adarna.

Hungry carnivorous giant Dagungdong.

Crossing "tulay na poon".

Ronnie Lazaro questions Rocco's motives?

Patricia Hernandez plays Diwatang Masuri

Note:

Please read our featured post on Cinema Bravo and why Web Criticism isn't always about good and credible writing:
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html

William Mayo's Yakman D Gigil King - Irreverence & Inadequacy

Inyaki Custodio (Leo Martinez) has a secret that prevents him from nurturing a relationship with the opposite sex. At 50, Yakie is still a virgin. What’s more confounding is his proclivity to get sexually excited – and prematurely ejaculate without much provocation. So Yakie spends most of his time turning his frustration to his livelihood, i.e. he runs a bakery. Meanwhile, his employees (Vincent Daffalong, Dinky Doo, Danny “Brownie” Pansalin, Robert Miller and Amay Bisaya) couldn’t help but wonder about his status. What keeps the boss single? After all, girls seem to gravitate towards Yakie. Maybe he swings the other way?

Yakie’s charm isn’t lost in sexy neighbor Alexa (Meg Vargas) who couldn’t understand why Yakie brushes off her advances, though he seems attracted to her. The same dilemma transpires when Yakie meets Mildred (Katrina Espe) who recently broke up with her skirtchasing boyfriend. A brush of hand, a blow of the wind, a glimpse of their cleavage has poor Yakie gushing in his pants. So he stays away to avoid further embarrassment.

One day, Yakie unexpectedly reunites with Maximo Olivarez (Soxy Topacio) inside a dingy movie house. Maxie was his best friend back in high school. These days, Maxie scouts talents; he trains and sends them to Japan as entertainers. Yakie confides to Maxie who then devises several methods to help his friend: hiring prostitutes, seeing a urologist, etc. But just when things turn hopeless, Yakie meets the lovely Rowena (Ghen Gabriel), one of Maxie's wards. Yakie is besotted. He falls in love. But despite Rowena’s curves and amorous touches, Yakie is able to control himself. Has our protagonist finally found a cure? More importantly, has Yakie found the love that once eluded him?

Director William Mayo’s resume comprises less than a dozen titles including the contentious Lito Lapid starrer “Lapu Lapu” (an MMFF 2002 entry which hilariously won multiple awards at the Film Academy, a testament to the inside joke that continuously float around this organization of film makers). Other titles include several Jeric Raval starrers like “Bunso: Isinilang Kang Palaban”(1995) and “Pistolero” (2003); “Tulume Alyas Zorro” (1983) with George Javier and Carmi Martin, among others. Ten years after Mayo’s “triumphant” historical epic, the action director resurrects his career with an effort best ignored and forgotten.

The comic sensibility of “Yakman: D’ Gigil King” seems to have languished and stalled in the slap-happy 80’s era of slapstick humor. Think Redford White and his ouvre: “Boni and Klayd”, “Tartan”, ”Darakula”, “Rambo Tan-go”, “Wrong Rangers”, “Hee-man Master of None”, etc. This film unwittingly transports us back to some bad eighties chapter. While those flicks were purely comic escapists, Mayo ups the ante by insinuating his update with some of the most grossed-out sentiment. The jokes are done in bad taste. What’s worse, they aren’t even funny! 

Alexa wets his dress.

Mildred goes out on a date with Yakie.

What’s so funny seeing a pudgy and aging Leo Martinez dancing with an apron and his rolling pin? I wonder. This scene punctuates the rest of the film since it ushers us into our protagonist's dilemma. Mayo further succeeds to populate his flick with some of the most forgettable, albeit charmless bit actors Philippine Cinema has ever produced. And in their desperate bid to extend their 15 minutes of spotlight, they come out rather disconsolate. And this film is supposed to be comedy. Here are some of these moments:

Yakie accidentally pours water on neighbor Alexa’s dress. He then wipes her chest with his hands while her nipple juts through the wet garment. “Basang basa na ako,” says Alexa. Yakie then stiffens, as though electrocuted, then he declares, “Tapos na ako.”

***

While riding a jeep, Yakie asks the driver, “Magkanong Quiapo?” The driver replies: “Di binebenta ang Quiapo.” Then Yakie replies with a question: “Ilaw ka ba?” Driver asks, “Bakit?” Yakie tells him: “Kasi ang sarap mong patayin eh.”

***

When Mildred pays Yakie a compliment for his gentlemanly ways, he replies with, “Tinuruan kaming gumalang sa utong.” I am not sure which girl would appreciate such glib talk. I’d probably be inclined to exercise my slapping technique.

***

While having a meal with Mildred, Yakie tells his date, “Hatid na kita. Late na eh.” Yet it’s obvious there’s daylight outside. Is it school night, maybe? :)

***

Man 1: “Anong kaibahan ng flat tire sa babae?”

Man 2: “Ano?”

Man 1: “Ang gulong, binobombahan muna bago sinasakyan. Ang babae naman, sinasakyan muna bago binobombahan.”

***

Man 1: “Ano ang kaibahan ng panty noon at ng panty ngayon?”

Man 2: “Ano?”

Man 1: “Ang panty noon, kailangang hawiin muna bago makita ang puwet. Ang panty ngayon, kailangang hawiin muna ang puwet bago makita ang panty.”

***

Man 1: “Ano ang kaibahan ng mainit na tubig sa palad ng babae?”

Man 2: “Ano?”

Man 1: “Ang mainit na tubig, nakakapagpalambot ng karne. Ang palad ng babae, nakakapagpatigas ng karne.”

***

There are jokes that don’t even make any sense, but are told anyway just to elicit a reaction:

 “Ang pandesal, habang tumitigas, mas masarap isubo.”

***

“Suzette, habulin mo ako. Pag natalo ako, kiss kita. Pag natalo ka, kiss mo ako sa bayag.” Huh?

***

Man: “Laro tayo ng bahay bahayan. Ako ang tatay. Ikaw ang nanay.”

Girl: “Ayoko nyan. Bastos yan.”

Man: “Sige, nanay nanayan at anak anakan na lang.”

Girl: “Sige.”

Man: “Nay, pa dedehen mo ako.”

***

While sharing a meal, Yakie tells Maxie how to eat the hotdog:

“Kinakagat yan, di sinusupsop.”

When the bibingka arrives at their table, Yakie jests:

“Ang sarap ng bibingkang matambok. May hiwa sa gitna.”

***

Yakie describes his situation to Maxie:

“Di na kailangang ipasok. Igulong lang sa hita, sagitsit na.”

***

Upon meeting with a urologist – aptly named “Dr. Steven T. Tinio” – thus, Doctor Titi Nyo, get it? :)

Dr. Tino espouses on “premature ejaculation” – “Ang maaaring sanhi nito ay ang mga sumusunod - 1) stress; 2)anxiety; 3) problema.” He’s just enumerating the synonyms of a single term, isn't he? I can add: affliction, burden, tension, hassle, apprehension, distress, dread, unease. Need I say more?

Yakie strangles his source of embarrassment... with unexpected results. :)

Leo Martinez’s Batangueno personification and accent used to draw rollicking laughter from the get-go, but time eventually puts premium on age and the kind of humor that one could carry. At a certain point, humor becomes acrimony and bad manners, and “bad manners” is never hilarious. Acceptable irreverence has to have circumscription. “Yakman” crosses boundaries and surpasses all archetype of poor taste. Aside from its grossed out humor, Yakman is misogynist’s delight. It’s rude to women and should be a cause of concern for the people of Gabriela! What’s worse, this film is extensively shown in SM Cinemas, the purveyor of “morally sound” movies. Yet 13 year old children can enjoy “bibingkang matambok na may hiwa sa gitna”, “padedehen mo ako”, "amoy pinipig na bagong bayo", “ikaw na lang ang lalamasin ko habang buhay” and “habang tumitigas mas masarap isubo.” Amazing, right?

But its brazenly tasteless humor seems to have conveniently smokescreened the gross inadequacy of the production’s filmmaking skills. Aside from being unfunny, “Yakman” is misguided and unsophisticated in handling humor and its sensitive topic. The jokes are a hit and miss, largely dependent on Leo Martinez’s time-tested skill to just ham it up. Even Soxy Topacio’s script input didn’t help largely because the premise itself is dubitable. Fifty year old virgin? Get outta here.

A beach scene suddenly has all three girls dancing in their bikinis.

"Bisaya pud ka day? Naglibog gyud ko sa imo."

Yakie discovers that his best friend Maximo has turned into a Maxie.

Yakie's dream sequence involving Rowena.

Yakie proposes to Rowena, but she declines. Why oh why?

What is Rowena's "big" secret?

Katrina Espe, Meg Vargas and Ghen Gabriel

Ghen Gabriel and Leo Martinez

Bakers have all the fun.