Antoinette Jadaone's "Beauty in a Bottle" - In Pursuit of Beauty and Youth

Vilma (Assunta de Rossi) is a hotshot advertising creative director who has been in the business for 20 years.  When a new anti-aging product requires fresh ideas from progressive young minds, Vi's time-tested acumen is put to a test. Will she be as contemporary as brazen new rookie and younger colleague Tanya (Ellen Adarna) who's expected to clinch the Belo product? Her boss Santi (Carmi Martin) isn't promising her the account just yet.

Meanwhile, upcoming actress Estelle Suarez (Angelica Panganiban) is fighting a seemingly losing battle with the bulge. Her co-star Empress (Empress Schuck) is stealing the spotlight from her.

When Estelle is pitted against Empress for a lucrative product endorsement, it didn't even take the competition 5 minutes to clinch the deal. During Estelle's go-see/auditions, she is subjected to more embarrassment that reduced her to a shrinking mess. How will she grab the project from Empress' arrogant grasp?

Judith Madamba (Angeline Quinto) is an aggressive realtor, selling 10 units in six months. But her enterprising successes don't translate to her personal life. She's weighed down by issues of self-esteem. In fact, she feels she doesn't "fit" in the social circle of his boyfriend Pocholo's (Tom Rodriguez) wealthy family. She just wants to impress them so. In her sheer paranoia, she ends up making a fool of herself.  

Three disparate lives intersect in Antoinette Jadaone's rollicking "Beauty in a Bottle", a cinematic dissertation on people's penchant for physical beauty and corporeal perfection. While we aim to be paragons of pulchritude, we forget that we have limitations we need to embrace to be able to truly find happiness and contentment.

In brisk, effortless strides, the movie is both insightful and downright hilarious, reminiscent of the verve of Ishmael Bernal's "Working Girls" made 3 decades ago.

The movie is buoyed by its finger-snapping pace and exceptional performances from its zany cast, particularly Angelica Panganiban as the eternally insecure actress Estelle and Assunta de Rossi as the aging advertising executive Vilma. Panganiban's audition scene and her shooting sequences ("Come back to the young and beautiful you.") are nothing short of brilliant, and are testaments of Panganiban's indisputable versatility. Quite frankly, it's hard to think of someone else who can evenly shift from drama to comedy, with flying colors in both.

De Rossi displays impeccable comic delivery and timing as she rolls with the narrative punches. What have Assunta and Alessandra's parents been feeding the girls that turned these siblings into spectacular actresses, one wonders? Empress plays a deliciously scornful version of herself, and comes up with one the year's most illustrious cameos, the consummate rival to a magnificent Panganiban.

How did Angeline Quinto fare? Not so badly actually. Though visibly awkward in a few scenes, Quinto breezes through her role with wanton enthusiasm, valiant enough to take thespic risks. This, after all, isn't her forte. But with temperament written to suit her personality, it's hard to make a false move. This is Quinto's card to a legitimate acting career.

Framed by thoughtful "steps to attaining success" (Step 1 - Just say yes; Step 4.1 - Know your product; Step 10 - Research, research, research; Step 48 - Check on your competition; Step 28.1 - Be better than your competition; Step 39 - Savor your success), the movie percolates with winking charm and raillery. It is provocative, upbeat, and pokes fun on our misperceptions and insecurities. It allows scrutiny of our thoughts on beauty and youth. How far are we willing to pursue them? Do they guarantee success? Or happiness? The film also gathers some of contemporary cinema's most brilliant and dynamic artists: Chris Martinez, Whammy Alcazaren ("Islands", "Colossal"), Atty. Joji Alonso, and of course director Jadaone ("Six Degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay").

This collaboration results into one of the year's most exuberantly exhilarating films. What's better? It screened to a good and receptive crowd. I like that. Great films deserve no less. This allows film makers to churn out more of quality cinema. As a paying audience, this is money well spent.

Gorgeous Tom plays Angeline's boyfriend Pocholo.

Topel Lee's Amorosa - Revenge of the Vigorously Confused

As a child, Amiel (Martin del Rosario) was diagnosed with Retinitis Pimentosa, an irreversible and incurable eye disease that eventually leads to blindness. Rosa Calderon (Angel Aquino), Amiel’s mother, the carrier of the illness, feels responsible for Amiel’s misfortune. But she enlists his other son Rommel’s (Enrique Gil) dedication to assist Amiel as he gradually loses his vision. ‘Di tayo aayaw; ‘di tayo susuko, Rosa reminds her son. She further says, “Sa ‘yo ako humuhugot ng lakas, anak.” Amiel and Rommel grow up close and supportive of each other. They play Beethoven’s “Fur Elise” together on the piano. They even prepare for the eventual forfeiture of Amiel’s vision by counting the steps to familiar nooks in the house.

One fateful day, the family figures in a catastrophic accident instantly killing Rosa’s husband (Lloyd Samartino). Rosa gets thrown out and survives with a mere contusion. But the wreckage perilously hangs by a cliff. The townsfolk turn to the site to pull the survivors out of the car. As time critically ticks by, a samaritan shouts to Rosa: “Sino ang sasagipin?” Rosa’s knee jerk reaction has her shouting, “Yung nakasalamin!” (Amiel). Rommel hears this and gets heartbroken. This scene has since defined Rommel’s relationship with his mother and brother Amiel.

Surviving the accident turns into an icy chapter in the lives of Rosa’s family. The once obedient and dutiful Rommel has turned wayward, preferring constant night outs with friends of ill repute. Moreover, their financial standing has down spiraled. Situation turns dicier when Rosa accepts an offer to manage a desolate inn in foggy Tagaytay where Amiel and Rommel spent their summers as children. Rommel acquiesces when he renews acquaintance with childhood friend Amanda (Jane Oineza) who’s grown into a lovely girl.  

But the old and creaky house rankles with an ominous past. A girl named Sandra (Empress Schuck) was gang raped and murdered in the house 15 years ago. Since then, men – suspected rapists – die mysterious deaths around the area. A killer is running loose, and Sgt. Villegas (Richard Quan) pays Rosa a visit to warn her about this. Meanwhile, Rommel’s demeanor towards his mother and brother changes abruptly with Amanda’s constant visits (she delivers flowers to the guest house). Fetching scenario, right? But are they safe from the wandering killer? Is Rommel free from the influence of his delinquent friends (Ejay Falcon, Franco Daza and Nico Antonio) who have their eyes on Amanda? Has Rommel mended his strained relationship with Rosa and brother Amiel?

A convoluted plot replete with several intervening narrative strains makes this mostly incongruent flick a herculean cinematic experience. The issues involved in “Amorosa” are disparate, and director Topel Lee vigorously pieces them together like oddly-shaped parts of a puzzle.  There’s the beautiful title that would have you believe that titular Rosa is the focal character in this story.  Well, she isn’t. There should be something about her that deserves a theatrical “title” other than the fact that she’s the genetic carrier of her son’s Retinitis Pigmentosa; maybe a glimpse into her past? But if you really think about it, Rosa could be written differently, i.e. as a supporting character or a flashback - and this wouldn’t harm the major premise that’s more about sibling rivalry than the guilt of a mother who wants to pass her burden to her younger child. How convenient, right?

During the accident, the Samaritans who went to the vehicular wreckage chose to “ask which one to help” losing more time in the process. Most people with brains would readily act on it than ask for decisions. They were at the scene, for Pete’s sakes. It was their call to just pull anyone out before the car tumbles down the ravine. But no, in their moment of idiocy, they had to ask the confused, contused and flustered mother which one should they pull out of the wreckage. Moreover, what mother would choose a child over another? This moral dilemma is really a narrative catachresis, clumsily manipulated to draft a situation.

On the other hand, Sandra’s (Empress) story, which starts the movie, is hokey. To add to Rosa’s grief, Director Lee has decided to throw in an avenging ghost who kills “rapists”. The film would have you believe that Tagaytay is the Rape Capital of the Philippines; rapists are a dime a dozen and they roam the streets like happy vagrants looking for damsels in distress. And restless Sandra haunts and kills them. But what bothers me was after having exterminated the characters played by Ejay Falcon, Nico Antonio and Franco Daza, what happens to the avenging Sandra? Her story has conveniently become an unfinished business, right? Unless she has decided to retire from her protracted retribution.  What did Sandra do to her own rapists – Carlo Aquino, Johan Santos and Lemuel Pelayo? Why kill others, but not your own rapist/murderers? Busy sya? Anyare, kuya?

And didn’t you notice how Manila boy Rommel’s friends seem to follow him all the way to Tagaytay? Moreover, there’s an albularyo (Nanding Josef) who intermittently warns Rosa of impending events, and there’s a child (Xyriel Manabat) who seems to see ghosts. Yet all of them are disposable characters that are as quickly forgotten as they are introduced into the story. Let’s not forget Lilia Cuntapay who provides asinine humor, an absolutely misplaced thread in an already confused narrative body.

Furthermore, Director Lee wasn’t happy with these plots so he further deviates by providing another twist! In what could be the silliest form of “deus ex machina”, Rosa is suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that would have her believing that Amiel survived the accident. But such gravity of delusion and visual hallucination isn't part of Post Traumatic Stress. Try Major Depression or Schizoaffective Disorder, but absolutely NOT Post Traumatic Stress Disorder! Isn’t it easier to actually consult a psychiatrist if you were to make a cinematic case out of a psychiatric diagnosis than cursorily reading about hallucinations from Wikipedia? Some people could be so inept or lazy.

It turns out, post-accident Amiel was but a figment of her imagination. How very Shyamalan!

Angel Aquino boasts of an arresting presence and an earnest take on mother’s guilt. Empress Schuck is, as usual, fetching and sympathetic as Sandra. These two ladies make watching Amorosa a little less painful, churning out commendable performances in shoddily written characters. Others aren’t as lucky. Ejay Falcon displays course depiction too far removed from most Star Magic actors. His characterization is, in fact, very Mac Alejandre’ish - mediocre, loud, predictable, and shallow. Enrique Gil and Martin del Rosario mostly deliver perfunctory turns, but they’re nothing to crow about. After all, the bond between these two actors is mostly fabricated, more than visceral.   

I have to admit though that the setting and cinematography are a pleasure to the eyes. Fog bound Tagaytay, gigantic trees with a thousand branches that reach to the heavens, atmospheric corners of some eerie locations provide a very visually compelling cinematic canvas. Unfortunately, mere beauty doesn’t suffice. A beautiful girl with the brain of a paramecium soon loses novelty, and we eventually see through her hollow skull. And it’s becoming clear how Topel Lee, once a very promising indie talent, has failed to deliver his promise. With visually succulent scenes, all he’s able to churn out are the superficial requirement of his cinema. Visuals are an integral part of a film, but it’s a valid story and an intuitive storytelling that drive any cinematic vehicle. In “Amorosa”, cerebral occupancy is nil! There’s just no one home but an unmanned camera.

Nanding Josef and Nico Antonio

Empress Schuck is the avenging Sandra.

Martin del Rosario is Amiel. Enrique Gil is Rommel. They are brothers... from a different mother... and a different father! See any similarity? You have to judiciously use your imagination for that. :)

Ejay Falcon is William, the present-day rapist; Carlo Aquino is Jerry, the rapist of the past! 

Pretty Jane Oineza plays flower girl Amanda, Rommel's childhood friend.

The cast of "Amorosa: The Revenge" and their confused director.

Note:

Please read our featured post on Cinema Bravo and why we sometimes feel nginig about Web Criticism:
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html

Tara Illenberger's Guni Guni - Busy Exposition in Narrative Clutter

Mylene (Lovi Poe) glides through her life with unruffled sobriety. On cursory glance, everything’s a bed of roses for the statuesque medical student: she tops her tough class; she nurtures a seemingly loving relationship with boyfriend/classmate Paolo (Benjamin Alves); and her best friend Joanna (Empress Schuck) is a constantly unwavering presence. But she has disquieting secrets. She possesses a scar that runs the whole length of her torso down to her flank. She would occasionally fight off suicidal tendencies. Moreover, she collects human body parts from her school’s janitor Jonas. However, these gifts come with a dear price. But why such emotional upheavals?

Mylene’s troubles don’t end there. Her rent hasn’t been paid for two months and her promissory note has been rejected. “Ikaw na lang ang ‘di nakakapagbayad at hindi makakakuha ng exams,” reminded the cashier. Meanwhile, on their first year anniversary, boyfriend Paolo is determined to get into her pants. When she stalls, he walks out and leaves her stranded on a remote field. Such frustration.

People at her boarding house have secrets of their own. Her landlord Tatay Nanding (Jaime Fabregas) who’s afflicted with Alzheimer seems to be feeding raw meat to a creature that’s buried at his backyard garden. Mrs. Arevalo (Gina Alajar) cryptically waits for her son Javier’s (Guji Lorenzana) intermittent visits. Nanny Vangie (Julia Clarete) diligently follows after her mentally challenged ward JJ (Gerald Pesigan), all the while pining for the affection of JJ’s father (Neil Ryan Sese), a detail man in Tarlac. Meanwhile, Joanna (Empress) could feel the restless presence of wandering souls all around her. When a new girl (Ria Garcia) arrives to rent an available room, mysteries further rankle the already muddled scenario. And our characters start dropping like flies.    

Mylene

Paolo: the impatient lover

Tara Illenberger is one of the industry's most prolific film editors, and editors usually make great directors. It comes with the territory of judiciously using pieces of a story to make a coherent whole. This was why it was a thrill to hear about Illenberger's first mainstream project. Unfortunately, Illenberger's "Guni Guni" (Figment) is a product of an over eager storyteller. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to point out a singular narrative strain more urgent than the next. There are too many disparate concepts that don't mesh well with the individual predicament of our characters. The by-product is one messy cinematic experience that's more tiresome than frightful.

Are we discoursing about guilt? Retribution, maybe? Alienation? Insanity? Are we dealing with ominous fixations? If the answers are all "yes", then we know there's a problem. A film has to have a single focus. In "Guni Guni" however, there are several creatures that go bump in the night: and every single character is hounded by them; there's the eye-enucleating, sexually starved doppelganger with eyes made of tin foil hastily pasted over the lids; the Juon-patterned ashen faced child ghost; there's the aborted fetus; the visiting ghost of a son, etc. There's also a bevy of issues not directly related to the horrific premise - like the infanticipating Alicia (Ria Garcia) who underwent a simplistic dilatation and curettage procedure from medical student Mylene - or did she? Her story came and went without much fanfare. In fact, you could rid of Alicia's character without disrupting the flow of the story. Why was she there in the first place?

SPOILERS

Mylene is collecting human body parts that would somehow physically re-construct Myra, her Siamese twin; these would approximate her physical persona had Myra survived. You see, Mylene was born a conjoined twin, but her twin Myra had to be sacrificed because they shared a single heart. "Ikaw ang pinili ko kasi napakaganda mo, anak," explained their looney mother (Isay Alvarez) who's mentally scarred for life for doing so.

In the film, you'll find a medical class whose only subject lingers around twins - as though they are specializing in Twinology more than treating the sick body. And if it isn't serendipitous enough, Dr. Gonzaga (Chinggoy Alonzo) isn't just Mylene's didactic professor; he was also the same doctor who separated Mylene from twin Myra some 20 years ago. Doesn't this shake you to the core? Are you still following me? :) Moreover, there's a best friend with a 3rd eye. Her senses are too acutely aware of the spirits moving around the house, yet she never unravels any of the mysteries surrounding them. How useless naman, debah?  

Joanna feels the presence of ghosts.

Mylene buys Tatay nanding's meat.

Lovi Poe inhabits Mylene with enigmatic chagrin, but something about her guilt - or lunacy - doesn't rope you into her life. She inspires detachment more than empathy, thanks to the muddled character development. Benjamin Alves registers well and competently tackles his naughty persona with adequate verve. Empress isn't really allowed to do much, though she's never bad. Others don't fare as well - Gina Alajar's cryptic Mrs. Arevalo is so theatrical, you wonder where her thespic control and brilliance have gone after all these years. Ditto to Isay Alvarez who's very lost in her lunatic borborygmus.

With sparkling camera work, great production value and an embarrassing riches of talent, it's such a pity to end up with a snooze-worthy product that's more narrative diarrhea than compelling story. Pass that Imodium tablet please.  

One-year anniversary frolic

Alicia is pregnant and gets an abortion from a medical student even before the latter does clinical work. 

Tin-foil eyes recklessly pasted over the lids.

Lovi Poe

Benjamin Alves

Benjamin Alves

Empress Schuck

Lovi Poe and Benjamin Alves

Amateur Hour in Party Pilipinas

Sundays are lazy days at home and I get to channel surf, immerse myself in the slambang musical numbers cooked up by ABS-CBN's "A.S.A.P.". Though I would occasionally switch to GMA's now-defunct "S.O.P.", I would eventually find my way back to the former.

Kapamilya's noontime variety is better planned and its rooster of talents is an enviable riches of the country's most popular, most talented, brightest stars. Not only that, their numbers are better choreographed, better conceptualized, well rehearsed and a lot of fun! When "S.O.P." finally folded, it felt like it was about time they do away with that show full of starlets and unknowns. In fact, every time I watch it, my family and I are always reduced to redundancy, "Sino yan? Eh sino naman yang girl na yan?" It's always the same scenario. I wouldn't mind if they match up their anonimity with real talent, but most of the time - they end up as mere lip synching trolls who sound horrendous even with recorded voices.

Then came "Party Pilipinas". They have ads in Megamall that seem to herald something new and exciting. Wow, I wanted to watch! So I did...

How was this viewing experience?

I caught a quartet of girls in white - dancing in front of a horizontal bar - Lovi Poe, Glaiza de Castro, Carla Abellana & Isabel Oli. They did this bit last week with Bianca King as one of the girls. When Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" started playing, it took the girls several seconds before they realized their number has actually started! Were they deaf? Didn't they hear the starting strains of "Bad Romance"? The girls looked at each other, not sure if they were to start or not! Their recorded voices boomed like discordant seagulls flying off to Iceland. Don't they have recording engineers to make sure these talentless gobs sound BETTER in recordings? Or are these engineers deaf themselves? For a while there, I thought they were starting a comical skit. That would be a novel idea - featuring bumbling idiots on high heels. Haha. Lip sync na nga, di pa makasayaw ng sabay o mahusay.

Choreographed numbers should focus on making sure one of the other works - lip synching or dancing? But in their case, these lovely idiots fumbled their way all through out their number. Can't sing? Can't lip sync? Can't dance? OMG! What are they doing in a Musical Variety Show - GMA's showcase of their talents! SHOWCASE! GMA's big bosses should start looking up the word "showcase" in the dictionary to fully understand its meaning - and how they should address their embarrassing musical variety extravaganza!

Not only were these girls intermittently lost, but when they found their steps, they couldn't even coordinate their movements. It was kanya kanyang kayod - "matira ang matibay". They had to cancel and reformat "S.O.P." for this god-awful world-class embarassment??!! Nursery students at St. Paul's can do a lot better!

Earlier in the program, I was transfixed watching Ogie Alcasid doing Michael Jackson's "Black or White" with new recruit Rachelle Ann Go! That really caught my attention! In the first few verses of the song, Mr. Alcasid was straining to reach : "I took my baby on a saturday bang..." His forehead forrows and his sternocleidomastoids stretch! Of course we knew that as this song progresses, the fast beat and ascending melody would not let up! The beat gets faster, the lyrics too. But it got painful listening to a veteran like Ogie groping. Wasn't his presence meant to render a degree of excellence to this maudlin array of amateur newbies? Good thing Rachelle Anne was there to actually render this degree of quality to a butchered song!

Now I have to be honest to say that I don't exactly like Ms. Go's performances in "A.S.A.P." Her vocal affectations and curlicues get too annoying sometimes, compared to the straight singing of her former colleagues in "A.S.A.P." But seeing her perform amidst low caliber artists in this new new show called "Party Pilipinas" instantly made her a gold mine! If I were to watch "Party Pilipinas" regularly, I knew I'd start liking Ms. Go! She is just a cut above the mediocre talents being fielded by GMA. And I am disappointed this had to include Mr. Alcasid's failing vocal capacity as a singer. Maybe age is catching up with him. Or just maybe, he is under-rehearsed? Note-perfect Regine Velasquez can't coach him? She has to lecture them on the importance of hitting your notes! If it's too high, don't be arrogant and switch to songs you can reach! I am sure there are millions of songs to choose from! Whatever the reason, veteran artists like Mr. Alcasid shouldn't rest on old glory. Practice still makes better performances. This would prevent further embarrassing himself alongside relatively new, but ultimately more talented exciting talents like Ms. Go who's used to singing with the best that the country can offer way back in "A.S.A.P."

Later in the show, a new talent was left to sing his alternative rock number. I recognized him as "M.E." - Miguel Escueta. I actually own his CD but has since played it once. Listening to him further aggravated my headache. As he was belting the chorus of his own song (I think it's the title track coz I kept hearing "This is me" or "I am me."), he would pull the microphone 14 inches away from his mouth, then he would stoop as though he was caught in his moment. What moment? The moment when a singer can't even sing the chorus of his very own song as it proved too high for him! Ohmygod! He shouts and still misses the note by a couple of bars! He tries again - for nought! Horrendous! New talents and their amateur skills!

Now listen here, GMA people: If the pitch of your songs are too high for your "singers", you have musicians to remedy that! Raul Mitra can play it a key lower, can't he? Don't let your artists croak with pain! It's not entertaining to your audience. Moreover, it gives the wrong expression to the young audience that it's ok to be a professional entertainer and be sintunado! Hit those notes! Don't grope, don't bear down, don't shriek! It's not a horror screamfest but a musical show, for pete's sake! At masakit din po sa tenga ng nanonood!

More importantly, I shall reiterate - "practice still makes perfect numbers"! Let your performers rehearse their numbers coz, my gosh! - their middling talents can't actually do LIVE performances! Learn from A.S.A.P.'s world-class professional performers!

If this is the kind of party you're hosting every Sunday, I'd rather hibernate in peace - than suffer!

Lovi Poe (above) and Glaiza de Castro (below)

Over at "A.S.A.P.", they've launched a new Prime Time Princess - the very beautiful Empress Schuck! I have seen this girl essay roles with sophisticated ease and sincerity and I have always known that she would one day make a lovely lead! Her time has come - and I am just too happy for her. Of course, it is going to be a "Kampanerang Kuba"-styled teleserye, but these are what people actually prefer to watch these days - brain-challenged fantaseryes! "Agua Bendita", anyone?

Good luck, Ms. Schuck! I do hope you look up to the prowess of Erich Gonzales than sappy Kim Chiu!

Empress Schuck