Enzo Williams' "The Escort" - 10 Amusing Things To Watch Out For

Yasmine Gomez (Lovi Poe) leaves behind waitressing to work as a receptionist for an escort service company. Little did Yassi realize that her boss Cyrus de los Reyes (Derek Ramsey) has plans of turning her into one of his high class prostitutes. One day, Yassi receives a proposal for a date-only transaction with business tycoon Gary Montenilla (Christopher de Leon). The “clean date”, that took several convincing, will earn her P50,000. Besotted by the lovely lass, Gary wants to pursue her further. To her surprise, her bank account earns a whopping P100,000. Now where do I sign up? Cyrus couldn’t be happier. After all, the good looking pimp's finances are fast dwindling. 

What Yassi didn't realize, Cyrus also peddles his flesh to long-time investor Lucy (Jean Garcia), a former actress who’s married to a powerful mayor (Rommel Padilla), due out for release from prison. As fate would have it, Cyrus begins to fall for virginal Yassi, a virtual prey in a sea of predators. Wouldn't you be surprised if this attraction weren't mutual? 

So Cyrus opens his heart and reveals to Yassi that this “greedy, egotistic asshole” cannot resist the “fresh, innocent and pure” heroine.

As the movie comes to its third part, Cyrus has to run away from the vengeful mayor, who learns of his wife's indiscretion. Cyrus is as good as minced meat, right? But Yassi strikes a deal with Gary who has the power to save our loverboy from impending doom. In turn, she is offered three options as payback. One, marry Gary and be provided with all the riches she can only dream of. Two, surrender herself for a night of pleasure in Gary’s boudoir. Three, and the more interesting proposition, make love to Cyrus - with Gary in the audience. Are we trapped in some EL James, Anais Nin, Christina Lauren or Jackie Collins paradise? Nah, more like a diluted Xerex.   

10 Things Why Watching "The Escort" is Amusing:

1. The film falls victim of its own contrivance. Early on, a voice over asks, “Lahat ba tayo may presyo?” To make sure we all understand the earth-shattering question, we’re put through a wringer by getting asked again, this time in English, “Does everything and everyone have a price?” Translation class? Clear?

2. Brenda (played with wanton vulgarity by Dimples Romana) takes her fee and waves the bills in front of a party crowd. Don’t you just love how suddenly this discreet industry is depicted with utter imprudence?

3. Yassi (Lovi Poe) rejects Cyrus’s proposal to join the escorting business. She’s repelled by the idea that she ignores a first invitation for a strictly dinner-only date with filthy rich Mr. Gary Montenilla (Christopher de Leon) though it would have earned her a cool P10,000. Cyrus lecherously badgers to pimp her up. But no go. She feels dishonoured; so humiliated in fact that she has taken every opportunity to join Cyrus for lunch and dinner. Isn’t she the smartest?

4. Everytime she meets up with Cyrus, former actress Lucy (Jean Garcia), wife of an embattled mayor (Rommel Padilla), refuses to do the dastardly deed on the bed. “Ang kama, para sa mag asawa,” she reasons. So it’s all jacuzzi, floor, kitchen table, and pebbly beaches? Kinky.

5. Cyrus argues it isn’t money that fuels the world, but lust. I had to rethink my existence to validate this preporterous theorizing. Do I work and earn my keep to satisfy my lust? Does Duterte sanction his bloody drug war out of lust? Does Bimby star in his dreadful TV commercials for lust? Does Sharon Cuneta shed a hundred pounds of lard for lust? Do the manangs in the market sell their tulya, pinya and kangkong to make errr kangkang? Ooops! Sorry I couldn't resist the rhyme. Tee hee. But good try, smart guy.

6. Derek Ramsay once again reveals his performing acumen in all its splendour. When Cyrus takes Yassi to Kandaya Resort in Daanbantay, Cebu for an overnight canoodling, he reveals to the blushing virgin that he is trying “hard” to resist her. He takes his eyeglasses off, then stares at Yassi. He gazes at her. Smoulder. Smoulder. Smoulder. And smoulder some more. Then I realized that all throughout the movie, Derek has been consistently smouldering. I was sure by the time credits were rolling, hot Derek would have been reduced into an ember.

7. The story reveals why Cyrus feels vulnerable inside a church, thus he avoids it. When he was 8 years old, his mother abandoned him inside. Then when he was about to get married, his bride left him for his best man. Sniff sniff. Cyrus’s voice cracks. “But I promise to change my life for you,” he says. Smoulder smoulder smoulder. Sniff sniff sniff. Yet everyone beside me in the cinema were struck with an unshakeable sensation of apathy. I am suddenly reminded of someone who can outsmoulder Derek Ramsay – Derek Zoolander! Hmmm. Check below if I am just fibbing.

Derek Zoolander and Derek Ramsay - Kings of Smoulder

8. Gary Montenilla takes Yassi home for the first time. He hasn’t even told her of his intentions, but he suddenly springs up a proposal… with a ring! Agad agad? Is it the end of the world na?

9. After Cyrus gets beaten up by the muscle men of Gold's Gym, errr, I mean those pesky, vengeful mayor’s thugs, he is seen on a hospital bed all contused and bloodied. A nurse auscultates his chest with a stethoscope. Then a doctor joins her and he blurts out, “Nurse, take him to the O.R.” No BP? No wound care? No intravenous fluid even to KVO? OR agad?

10. When Yassi goes to the cashier to pay P100,000, the girl tells her, “Ma’am, this is just for the professional fee .” Someone actually says that? No billing invoice itemizing service rendered? Just PF? Now which hospital is this?

If ten items weren’t enough, Enzo Williams' "The Escort" caps its droll sequence of events by following Cyrus sometime after the aforementioned incident (I remember 3 years but that can't be!) Cyrus has recuperated. He's been combing the metropolis looking for Yassi. But there’s no trace of her. To mend his broken heart, he decides to fly back to the Cebu resort where he once took Yassi. The night sea seemed quiet he could hear his own beating heart. He sits back, internalizes, and smoulders some more. Then something stirs from a nearby chair. Guess who?

#theescort   #lovipoe   #derekramsay

Gino Santos' Ex With Benefits - Nasty Piece of S----t!

Ohmygod! 

I had to vent out my frustration watching this execrably offensive movie that's based on the wild imagination of someone who seems to live on the orbits of space - or the netherworld, not to mention that his consciousness is probably soaked on acid. The only thing vaguely "human" in this cringe-worthy cinematic carcass is Coleen's character who would rather sleep with a wrinkly dean than get her affairs in order. Med reps are pictured as a whoring bunch of desperate souls who peddle their products as much as they peddle their flesh for endorsement. Doctors - yes, doctors! - prey on flirty med reps (dressed up like night club GROs) who, in turn, talk about the doctors they cover like hyenas in heat: "Siguro magaling yun sa kama!" Seriously?

A few thinktanks involved with the story development ought to get their heads zapped with 10,000 joules of electric convulsive therapy to exorcise their gag-worthy inventions. No character in this abysmal cinematic garbage is spared from bad behavior, as though the world lives in a very amoral, albeit immoral society - the physicians, the med reps, the best friends, their classmates, the company bosses, the deans, the waiters pouring wine, and even the parents of an underperforming girl. Each one has his sharpened claws ready for the kill! Yes, every one is a wretched soul!

And you wonder which terribly impressive minds have decided that this was a Grade-A film? Typo error? Maybe it was a joke? Ah yes, those bunch of swiveling m's again from the CEB. My maid probably knows more about what a good movie is (or should be) than those hilariously clueless bunch from the Cinema Evaluations Board. 

This film is apparently inspired by my would-be vomitus had I not purchased Plasil in time. Star Cinema, thank you for getting me out of hibernation! You must be very proud of yourselves. Bravo!  

Nuel Naval's A Secret Affair - The Land of the Despicable

Despicable creatures. That was running through my mind as I watched Nuel Nunez’s “A Secret Affair”. In fact there was not a single character in this theatrical ouvre that I’d wanna be associated with in my life if they were live specimen. I’d rather march to the Zambian capital of Lukasa and live a life of seclusion until I’m fat and ugly and my Louboutins don’t fit me anymore – than have family and friends like the caricatures of “A Secret Affair’.

There’s Rafi (Anne Curtis) who accepts a marriage proposal barely two months after she met Anton (Derek Ramsay). Like rabbits in heat, they decide to wed faster than Lilia Cuntapay could spell “baccalaureate” or “bourgeoisie”. Yes, faster than Cristine Reyes’ ability to sustain familial loyalty to siblings who fed her until she’s big enough to earn her own keep. Unfortunately for the bemuscled Anton, Rafi gets cold feet on the day she traipses down the aisle. She’d rather fly to New York for an indefinite holiday – and by indefinite, it meant a couple of weeks of vacuous soul searching. Does she really want to spend her nights counting the abdominals in Anton’s torso for the rest of her life? Would she survive Anton’s pelvic grunts and forceful deltoid and tricepsual embraces? Could she stomach Anton’s passionate gaze for the remainder of her sad, sad life? The answers seem clear.

Rafi comes home to woo her erstwhile beau who’s so heartbroken, the only way to mend his grief was to shag the living daylights out of Sam (Andi Eigenmann), one of Rafi’s sorority sisters, who’s desperate for a horned-out father figure with 8-pack abs to boot. This wouldn’t be their sole concupiscent rendezvous. As anonymous strangers, they’ve actually done the dastardly deed even before Anton met Rafi. This time around, Sam decides to stake her claim to the Eurasian bratwurst. After all, she had him first. Besides, this bratwurst drips with juicy smoulder she couldn’t get enough of. Albie Casino should probably hide under the table beside Anton’s considerable inches, right? Oohlala.

At this point, the story moves into Boy Pick-Up territory; alas, with the kitchiest, sassiest, campiest one-liners this side of Gaylandia. Everyone tries to outdo the next queen. How kitschy? Well, for starters, there’s Tim Yap whose presence distracts like a fish bone stuck between your dentures. Tim Yap, you see, can’t act to save his life. What’s funnier, he’s awkwardly depicting himself. I’m actually tickled pink to see someone who’s so bewildered and clueless how to portray himself. Such hilarity.

The cinematic plate is replete with Imeldific beauty: flowing or serpentine gowns, designer handbags, sexy stiletto heels, immaculately coiffed hair; you cannot deny the stark beauty lavishly paraded before you. You somehow wonder if this was originally envisioned like a shopping catalogue with the narrative taking the back seat. Unfortunately, without valid characters, such elements make a dubious film.

“A Secret Affair” brims with caricatures, none of them deserving our empathy. Rafi, for example, the main protagonist, sashays around with chock-full of verve and confidence yet she's such an air-head she can’t make up her mind about commitments. She’s the kid who’s taken to the candy shop. After almost an hour of roaming the shop, she queues at the counter and ends up changing her mind – again! She has the emotional appropriation of a 2 year old. It doesn't help that Anne Curtis, one of the most ridiculous Best Actress winners from an equally ridiculous awards-giving Famas, is turning out emotionally barren. The scene where she spews: “I’m okay; I’m okay. I’m not okay” is more than telling. She could have made the emotive leap, but ends up with a parched, albeit perfunctory smattering. Curtis is in dire need of gravitas, and it doesn't help that she trades her verbal tussles against the immensely intuitive Andi Eigenmann.

And isn't it ironic that it’s the cinematic oppugnant who gets our sympathy? Eigenmann personifies her dilemma with clarity and unusual depth. Her scene with Jackie Lou Blanco (playing mother Cate) is particularly compelling: “Mom, what's wrong with us? Why do men always leave us? Mahirap ba tayong mahalin?” And she asks why the women in their family always end up losers. Her restraint is reminiscent of the much younger Jaclyn Jose who, these days, succumb to Machiavellian thespic ploys. All of Jose’s artistic bravura has been bequeathed to her brilliant daughter, leaving her with nothing but glowering and contriving character delineations. “Alam mo saan masarap magkape? Sa burol mo!” “Shut up. Bitch ka lang. Super bitch ako”. Lines like these are likely to arise from parloristas actively engaged in a catfight, not the upper middle class denizens who populate this film.

Finally, there’s Derek Ramsay playing Anton whose emotional sagacity flies out the door whenever a prepubescent Lolita offers her coochie snorcher. Ramsay works hard. In fact, he still smolders – while the testosterone charm drips over. He punctuates his delivery with decibel adjustments. When he pleads for understanding, his delivery turns almost inaudible, the words get lost in his discerning dispatch. But all these feel hollow. Conveying emotion does not rest on the volume of your delivery. You have to become the character. Derek's 8-pack is more coercive than any of the lines he delivered. You could probably squeeze emotions out of a rock than from Derek whose vacuity lords over his artistic savvy – or lack thereof. Isn't it too bad that Angelica Panganiban wasn't able to imbue her hefty artistic wisdom before they parted ways? They could have polished the “Being” exercises in the privacy of their bedrooms. Tsk tsk! Those missed opportunities! You don’t wonder why TV5 opted to hide Ramsay’s face under a mask in his new series, “Kidlat”!     

And those lines: “Betrayal and infidelity in secret is still betrayal and infidelity." Huh? Ano daw?

Sam listens to Anton and Rafi.

Sam barges inside a spa to "service" Anton.

A call surprises Rafi.

Like licking chocolate-coated lollipop...

Ellen and daughter Rafi

Anton smolders in his seat.

Andi Eigenmann captures her emotional predicament even without saying much.

Jackie Lou Blanco, as Cate, was never this bad!

Catfight starts.

The super bitch makes her move. This same tack (of pouring a bottle of liquid) is repeated when  Rafi faces Sam. this time, with a calamine lotion. Very original, debah?

Derek Ramsay smolders like... an igneous rock?

Praybeyt Benjamin - Selectively Hilarious

Benjamin Santos (Vice Ganda) comes from a long line of aggressive military men bristling with machismo. Unfortunately, he isn’t a slice of the same pie. He sashays with lurid sways in the most flamboyant fashion and his parents (Jimmy Santos and Malu de Guzman) don’t seem to mind. During a party that pays homage to the family’s grand patriarch (Eddie Garcia), Benjamin reunites with his grandfather who hasn’t seen him in quite a while. Needless to say, he isn’t amused to find his flaming “apo” swishier than the next parlorista. In fact, the elder Santos is flabbergasted. Benjie’s pretty much disowned.

Meanwhile, when a local terrorist group, the Bandidos, succeeds to hold in captivity most of the country’s military arm, the country is thrown into chaos. Civil war ensues, and the debilitated government has tasked each family to volunteer a member who would be trained to join the national forces that shall retake sovereign rule. The Santoses are in a dilemma. Benjie’s father is forced to volunteer despite his coterie of systemic illnesses, not to mention his age and physical stature. When conscience assaults our cross-dressing protagonist, Benjie finds himself in a bus full of similar volunteers, willing to sacrifice life and limb for a beleaguered nation.

A group of ragtag misfits joins Benjie including Jojo (Joji Lorenzo), the squad coward; Big Boy (Ricky Rivero), the morbidly obese glutton; Emerson (Kean Cipriano), the boyish nerd; Lucresia (Nikki Valdez), the bellicose girl who’s bent to extract Benjie’s confession regarding his sexuality; Buhawi Manay (Vandolph Quizon) who “sees dead people”, et.al. Then there’s Brando Estolas (Derek Ramsay), the hunky platoon leader.

There’s a hitch in Benjie’s plan of redemption: the military frowns upon homosexuals. He has to keep it closeted or he won’t have the chance to help in the rescue of his grandfather from the latter’s captors. But would Benjie be able to hold his ruse when his “hot papa” platoon leader’s anything but unfriendly? In fact, Brando’s offering him a massage in his own quarters! Is it bait? What to do?

In broad comedic strokes, Vice Ganda flaunts his mastery of spoken sarcasm that even mediocre lines don’t sound so bad with his delivery as they should as written material. Lines like “Puro kayo atay at balun balunan, wala kayong puso!” (You’re all liver and gallbladder, but heartless) become morsels of joy. When his father asked why Benjie’s visiting the “punerarya”, he replies with “mamimili ng ulam, gusto nyo ng dinuguan?” If you doubt this, hear how a full house crowd laps it up, it’s unbelievable. Ganda’s acidic dispatch carries a sense of slap-happy realization that indeed, some questions are too silly to be answered.

The most diverting parts are the scenes involving Ganda’s deception; that he is a suppressed flaming fag in a straight man’s turf: scenes at the obstacle course, at the common shower room, his moments with Brando (Derek) which derives the most laughs. Most of the scenes involving Derek bring the crowd to vicious roars of laughter: Vice and Derek running towards each other a la Gabby and Sharon; Vice being rescued from drowning via resuscitation; Vice ebulliently doing push ups as he daydreams of Brando gazing seductively on the ground. Since when has watching a gay guy “crave” for a man become swoon worthy? Try now.

The film is peppered with screwball materials we’ve expected from director Wenn V. Deramas whose comedic resume unfurls from delightful fodders (“Ang Tanging Ina”) to moronic clutter (“BFF: Best Friends Forever”, “Petrang Kabayo”, “Hating Kapatid”). I have been wondering how Deramas has managed to spread himself too thin with a succession of work that continues to deteriorate in film making proficiency. Doesn’t experience make one a better auteur? Apparently not. Truth is, “Praybeyt Benjamin” is home to some of the most hideous computer-generated images to grace the local screen in recent memory. Check out the climbing-the-pole scenes; or the human slingshot scenes. His pococurante stagings are too obvious to ignore. You’d find the end of the harness hanging behind the actors while they float away on powdery scenes. This is a bit annoying because you would expect better craftsmanship, i.e. cinematography and production values, from a mainstream flick such as this.

There are mind benders in the story as well. Twelve generals get kidnapped and the country is in chaos? That’s all it takes? And when you’re recruiting able bodied people, how do you explain someone of Jimmy Santos’ girth and age to make the grade? Females and the aged are allowed, as well as those with hypertension, diabetes, and hemorrhoids – but not physically fit gays? Are we still in an era where gay men are the scourge of the earth? Every one can help, but the gays? Sometimes it is sad that it’s the openly gay personalities like Deramas who discriminate against his own.

Luis Manzano cameos with the horse from “Petrang Kabayo” (Vice Ganda's first starrer), while Angelica Panganiban lends her voice as Derek’s girlfriend (also played by Vice Ganda). Others in the cast include Carlo Agassi, Bodie Cruz and Dennis Padilla.

The entertainment quotient of “Praybeyt Benjamin” relies heavily on Vice Ganda’s dry wit, sincere humor and acerbic delivery. They are his tickets to relatability to a once-homophobic general public despite his overt sexual orientation. In this regard, Vice Ganda has broken barriers. Suddenly, straight men aren't anxious with the third sex. The comedian has taken a new generation of men into a higher level of maturity. Suddenly, gay men are not objects of ridicule. After all, they do that on themselves quite compellingly. That’s a considerable degree of success, if you ask me. If only Vice Ganda employed a more insightful director who doesn't rush around his principal photography.

Derek Ramsay: The British Filipino actor is the unexpected toast of tinseltown after huge blockbusters like "No Other Woman" and "Praybeyt Benjamin".


Alwyn Uytingco and Kean Cipriano


Andrew Wolff, the Philippine Volcano star, plays Abe Sayaf, a terrorist soldier.

No Other Woman - Fun, Games and Infidelity

I chanced upon a late television show a few weeks ago that had two groups of the most flamboyant gay teens fighting over the loss of a cellphone (someone stole it and curiously returned it broken 2 weeks later). The show is called “Public Atorni” patterned after a US court show called “People’s Court”. The aforementioned court hears small claims, promotes mediation and dispute resolution. The show mostly tackles the pettiest squabbles that should’ve been dealt with among them than on TV, but hey, the livid accusations sometimes make for a diverting nighcap, i.e. if you’ve no better things to do than watch a female lawyer exercise her theatricality, with hilarious effects. Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta, Public Attorney’s Office chief, hears the cases, then animatedly points to warring characters – “Asunto o areglo!” – as though her audience are a bunch of deaf dweebs. Besides, isn’t she aware that “pointing fingers” is actually bad manners? There are ethical books on this, so we’re prone to point that out. Anyway, we’re diverting!

The point being: Despite the almost trivial proceedings, the freewheeling verbal tussle between these pubescent homosexuals, you couldn’t help but listen and be amused! They have such florid ways of throwing verbal punches, not dissimilar to the smart exchanges found in comedy bars! They are entertaining and I was laughing myself out!

A few days ago, I watched Ruel S. Bayani’s “No Other Woman” and I could swear I’m transported back to that court house. It’s one drag show all over again! And though this was supposedly a domestic drama, I had the time of my life laughing away!

Capsule

Ram and Charmaine (Derek Ramsay and Cristine Reyes, respectively) make a loving young couple. Ram supplies furnitures for luxury resorts, but he struggles to rise above a negligent father and her father-in-law’s leering condescension. One day, he meets breezy and free-spirited Kara (Anne Curtis), daughter of the resort owner (Tirso Cruz III) he’s peddling his furniture wares at. Though Ram once vowed to be faithful, his resolve weakens where Kara’s concerned. After all, she knew he was married and she’s vowed never to be a “kabit” (mistress). This was just a consensual lay in the hay between consenting adults... with no emotional involvement!

Unfortunately, these trysts soon turn addicting (i.e. habit-forming). When Charmaine (Ram’s wife) begins suspecting there’s more to Ram’s constant disappearances, not to mention his hickeys, the philandering couple is already in too deep in their affair. They’re starting to care! That’s when Charmaine realizes that she must fight back and claim ownership to what’s rightfully hers. What becomes of Kara?

We’ve heard of such marital predicaments and situational narrative before, but what keeps “No Other Woman” entertaining is its campy approach to the arguments. Heck, even Charmaine’s mom (Carmi Martin) gushes with hissy lines as though she’s the anointed guru of relationships (she isn’t, her hubby’s probably jumping from one affair to the next): “Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo, maraming snatcher. Maagawan ka. Lumaban ka!” Then: “Panahon na para i-pack mo na yang Lucy Torres mo, ilabas mo na diyan si Gretchen Barretto. Ako na ang bahala sa red stiletto mo!” And there’s more: “Ano ba’ng mahirap kalaban? Ang putang mahirap o ang putang mayaman?” Answer: “Pare-parehong puta lang yun!” I was going to stand up and curtsy, but I waited because I realized there could be more. I was right: “I’ll never be a pathetic boring housewife,” delivered with so much chili relish, my palate was clapping with glee. If you’ve heard the verbal exchange among the teen homosexuals in “Public Atorni”, you’d agree that they could fit perfectly into the film’s campy catfights!

Anne Curtis has always been competent with characters she's portrayed in the past, but that’s mainly because she coasts on her charisma and earnestness. "No Other Woman" is a departure from her usual girl-next-door persona (Yup, even her "Babe, I Love You" character was a doll!) In this film, Anne plays the delightful vamp to the hilt and doesn’t do badly as a concubine, which is a surprise since she is cast against type. However, it’s really Cristine Reyes who succeeds in controlled thespic strokes. She has obviously learned much from her older sister (Ara Mina, a great actress) how insight and sincerity are mined from within. When Cristine wails, “Bakit? May kulang ba sa luto ko? Pangit ba ako? Mababaliw ako sa kakaisip!” - you knew she meant it! And the film, and all its ill-advised humor, becomes real.

There are a number of mind benders in the story. You’re courting for trouble when you take your jealous wife to where your jealous mistress is - or is that such an alien concept? It was a hammer waiting to hit you in the head. And if such action wasn't meant to spite a lover, think of what Kara can do in her own territory! She is, if Ram didn’t realize, the owner’s daughter and is quite the power-wielding royalty in their own resort. She could castrate Ram if she wanted to. Of course, it makes for an explosive confrontation, but a realist’s option it sure isn’t. There’s more: Why would a “mistress” accept a wife’s invitation for dinner unless she’s bracing for a big meltdown. There are a couple of things worth noting here: delicadeza and guilt, not to mention “common sense”, but then maybe “sense” is farthest in the scriptwriter’s mind when he wrote this scene. In another, Kara shouts an accusation at Ram, "Minahal mo ba ako?" But wasn't she the one who smugly declared, "Shut up and kiss me, and don't you dare fall in love with me?" Who's contradicting herself?

Even the mistress' dad (Tirso Cruz III) is given acidic lines that might as well come from my Values Education teacher: "If you stop hating your father so much, maybe you'll turn into a better person." I was astounded. After all, he himself hated Ram's dad (a former friend and business partner who once defrauded him) so that line felt incongruent to the story. You do realize this overkill was unregulated. The audience would lap it up anyway, debah?

There's a lot of things that caught my (and my bff Iyaya's) attention in the movie: The hand bags are to die for, the shoes divine, and the bathing suits va-va-voom! Curtis and Reyes were such epitomes of beauty, and Derek overflowed with machismo! Unfortunately, all these don't make an excellent movie. It's gay fantasia filled with the most delectable battle lines, the ones we can only dream of using when confronted with usurpers in real life ("Baka makita mo pang nilagyan ko ng lason ang pagkain.") Otherwise, in a realist's world, the mistress clams up; the embarrassed wife runs home in tears; and there's no audience applauding a heated confrontation.

The last part turns messier than expected (Charmaine taunts Kara while the latter’s lounging peacefully by the poolside; Ram’s midnight visit into Kara’s room; the avoidable vehicular accident), each strain as manipulative – canny and circumspect – and “straight out of a cheap teleserye”. You bet!

Anne Curtis as lovely Kara



Anne Curtis





Cristine Reyes


Cristine Reyes


Derek Ramsay


Derek Ramsay


Derek Ramsay