Benito Bautista's "Mumbai Love" - Pedestrian Effort, Failed Ambition

While on a fashion assignment in Mumbai, Ella (Solenn Heussaff) is pursued by Nandi (Kiko Matos), an Indian resident in Manila who’s in the Indian city to attend a cousin’s wedding. Sparks fly after their first date, but as fate would have it, Ella had to abruptly leave. What’s worse, the note she left for Nandi gets misplaced at the front desk of the hotel. With no contact details nor full names to go on with, both settle back into their lives with deep regret.

Back in Manila, Nandi tries the television talk shows to find Ella to no avail. The girl seems to have disappeared from the face of the Earth. One night, while watching a gay pageant where his cousin Romni (Romy Daryani) is a judge, he finds Ella backstage attending to the contestants’ wardrobe. Ella’s Mama Nikka (Jason Gainza) is the pageant’s costume designer and make-up artist. The couple briskly rekindles their budding romance, but finds resistance in Nandi’s parents. They have earlier arranged for their 25-year-old bachelor’s betrothal to the daughter of a rich Indian family. Though warned of being cast out from the family, Nandi fights to keep Ella in his life.

But there’s more trouble brewing in the horizon. Ella gets abducted by Marco (Mart Escudero), her colleague from work and secret admirer, who takes her to a desolate farm house in Laguna, keeping her a prisoner. With the help of a nasty crew of “bumbays” – the loanshark gang headed by Rashid (Raymond Bagatsing), Nandi scours the town to secure the girl. Will they find Ella before it’s too late?

The Philippines is home to an estimated 150,000 Indians, mostly of Sindhi or Punjabi ethnicity; this according to a 2008 statistics. But this I believe is a conservative estimate. The number could be triple. After all, this minority group has been in the country since pre-colonial times, and the 17^th century Gujarati merchants made sure that their transoceanic empire flourished long before we've even acquired modernization.

Moreover, anthropological studies have revealed proofs of active trade between Tamil Nadu (the south Indian region) and the country as early as the 8^th and 10^th century. These days, the “bumbays” have become part of our sociological existence: the turbans, rotis, 5/6, the tongue-burning gastronomy, snake charmers, Kashmirian fabrics, cheap surgical instruments and cancer drugs, and the frolic of Bollywood.

Gradually spilling over in the entertainment field, a number of the latest Indian features have been screened in SM cinemas last year. This includes Shahrukh Khan’s highly entertaining “Chennai Express”, Reema Kagti’s suspenseful ghost drama “Talaash” (“The Answer Lies Within”), Rajkumar Hirani’s “3 Idiots” (shown 4 years too late), and Yash Chopra’s “Jab Tak Hai Jaan” (Til There is Life) – also with superstar Shahrukh Khan. These screenings were always well attended, underlining the sizable population of Indians in the metropolis. Is it any wonder then that “Mumbai Love” would eventually come into being?

Kiko Matos is Nandi and Solenn Heussaff as Ella.

 “Mumbai Love” is constructed in the same Bollywood template: a main narrative premise, colorful Bollywood song-and-dance numbers, and a protracted story line that stretches for hours, Benito Bautista’s lighthearted tale is well anticipated. With spirited performances from its charming leads, a sparking cinematography, a traipse into delightful Mumbai and a director who showed immense promise in his two earlier films (the searing "Boundary" and documentary “Harana”), how could it fail? Unfortunately, this movie disappoints.

Bhansali's "Ram-Leela"

To begin with, the dance sequences are shabbily choreographed, the dancing not even synchronized - and dancing is a key element in Bollywood, for those who hid in the caves for the last century or so. 

Bollywood and its Hollywood-inspired nicknames (which officially started in 1932 as Tollywood based in Tollygunge, West Bengal)  treat their dance sequences with due attention, diligence and precision. Meanwhile, the dancers in “Mumbai Love” looked like they rehearsed for a fortnight then began shooting. Very few Indian movies do away with dancing and music, like one of my all time favorite, Aparna Sen’s “Mr. & Mrs. Iyer” (2002). 

Let’s take the case of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s “…Ram-Leela”(2013) which is essentially “Romeo and Juliet” uprooted to the colors and exoticism of India’s Udaipur. This tale of the star-crossed lover becomes sexualized like it hasn't been before, yet its tragic comeuppance is nonetheless cloaked in some of the most eye-popping musical numbers I've seen in a while. And we're talking about a tragic narrative. Moreover, the plump guys in many Telugu films can out-booty shake anyone from “Mumbai Love” – and that’s a shame since we Filipinos are known for our universal musicality. In Bautista’s tale, music and dance become part of the ingredient, but they seem like after thoughts, i.e. expurgated flights of fancy.

You’d expect a “harana” (serenade) scene from Benito Bautista to work, but believe me, you’re better off forgetting the aforementioned scene altogether. 

There are commentaries about Indian customs like the arranged marriage, but even this was handled without much thought. After Nandi was warned against marrying another girl, the succeeding scene has the parents celebrating the rescue of Ella and their son’s engagement to the French-Pinay. What made them change their minds so fast? Fast resolutions can be attributed to 1) laziness to unspool the kinks in your narrative clutter; 2) carelessness of the storyteller; 3) a myopic vision on situations that should otherwise make sense. We blinked and Nandi’s dilemma for his “arranged marriage” is suddenly gone. How convenient.

LAPSES AND MISPLACEMENTS

Now the obvious lapse in the script: You go out on a fantastic date in a foreign land and you won't even ask for each other's full names? You won't even talk about which area you live in Manila? "Saan ka banda?" Ako doon sa malapit sa peryahan." Nothing? You ride bikes all over and have romantic rendezvous yet you won't even exchange numbers? No exchange of call cards or email addresses? What is this, the 1930's? Isn't that a little too incredulous to believe? That - or the thinking cap's been compromised.

There are misplaced side stories that didn't help move the plot, like Jun Sabayton and his son’s anti-Indian sentiments. Strike them off the story plate and you won’t miss anything. Raymond Bagatsing’s loansharks are another. Gym-buff loanshark Indians, seriously? And a commentary that the “5/6” scheme helps propel our nation's economy -  “because this is micro-enterprise” - sounds too superfluous to digest.

The scenes in Mumbai are another problem. In the movie, Mumbai forfeits its grandiose colonial sheen. Suddenly, the glorious streets of Colaba seem like little Quiapo, except for the iconic yellow-and-black taxi cabs inherent in Mumbai. The Gateway of India seems like an oblique view of UST’s century arch. If they WERE indeed filmed in Mumbai, then someone got shortchanged.

Beautiful scenery from Pila, Laguna.

Martin Escudero is hopelessly stuck in his “Zombadings” persona. His character Marco, who’s in love with Ella, is so effete, you’d understand why she never looked at him as a romantic possibility. When he starts acting out as the spurned lover, I half expected him to come out of the closet. Jason Gainza hams it up as Ella's cross-dressing adoptive “mother”. But we just didn't find him that amusing to begin with. Angelina Kanapi does another cooky "lady boss" role, but she comes off like a drugged out hipster. Hasn't she done this in 4 - no, make it 7 - other films in the past? The Indian cast does better, but then I am probably scraping the bottom already.

FLICKER OF LIGHT

If there’s a flicker of light in this lackadaisical ouvre, it would be Solenn Heussaff and newcomer Kiko Matos (last seen in Jason Paul Laxamana’s stirring “Babagwa”). While decidedly easy on the eyes, Heussaff is also earnest and makes for an adorable romantic heroine. There's much to admire about Heussaff because she has always been a sincere performer. She does away with extraneous emotions that would unnecessarily spill over a characterization. Her Tagalog is amazing – and remind me again how long has Sam Milby worked in the Philippines?

Kiko Matos, on the other hand, is just too gorgeous to ignore. Sometimes you want to click the pause button and just gaze at Matos’ smile a second longer! How's that for a romantic lead? He occasionally stumbles with his slapstick scenes, but you’re far from picking an egg to throw on screen. He is just adorable. Check out his bharat scene. He looked so awkward prancing around, but you hardly mind him. Beauty indeed has distinct advantages because sometimes, it helps you get away with murder. But what happens when novelty wears off?

In 2011, Director Bautista’s “Boundary” blazed the cinematic trail. There's no doubt that a great film maker was born. This was further reinforced when his documentary “Harana” opened in the festival circuit the following year. Then comes “Mumbai Love” which is nothing short of a rudimentary work. What happened?

If “Mumbai Love” gets a commercial screening anywhere in India, it would be an absolute embarrassment. The Indians who are weaned on the pomp and pageantry of Bollywood, Tollywood and Kollywood might find “our” craft too amateurish. Do we really want that? Do we deserve such pedestrian effort? 

   

Ikaw na, says Kiko Matos.

Solenn Heussaff and Kiko Matos pose in Mumbai.

Dominic Lim's Kapitan Basura - Playful But Half Baked

Bobet Balachuchi (Victor Anastacio) doesn’t aspire much in life, except the affection of his pretty neighbour Rowena (Gee Canlas, “Melodrama Negra”). He manages his junk shop and lives with his emotionally volatile mother Aling Baby (Angelina Kanapi) and blind sister (Julieanne Raye Nellasca). His best friend is a charming scavenger Kenneth Balboa (Dan Lim) who moonlights as a cell phone snatcher. While Bobet is cocksure and confident, he shrinks whenever Rowena’s around.

When a speeding truck accidentally hurtles straight towards his junk shop, Bobet becomes part of the rubble. Miraculously, he survives without cracking a limb. What’s more disturbing, he discovers special abilities like super strength and the ability to attract garbage. 

Before long, Bobet starts using his powers to save people: crushing asteroids from space; saving a troubled airplane, rescuing folks from a burning building. Kapitan Basura is born. Soon, he gets endorsement deals and considerable front page spreads. Even the mayor of Purok Ocho (Jobert Austria) has ebullient words to say about the popular hero.

Meanwhile, a series of disappearances is troubling the community. Customers of facial clinics turn missing, among them is Rowena who, by this time, is falling for Bobet. Is there a monster abducting people? Does Bobet’s physician, Dr. Chupacabra Sanchez (James Caraan) have anything to do with this turn of events? Guess.

“Kapitan Basura” is director Dominic Lim’s first full length feature; one of the six chosen entries in the second edition of Sineng Pambansa (National Film Festival), a flagship program of the Film Development Council of the Philippines (FDCP). The festival kicked off in Davao City late last year and the entries have been doing their rounds all over the country’s other film hubs like Iloilo, Baguio, Davao, Marawi, Pampanga and (hold your breath) even Tawi Tawi. Why the festival is keeping a curiously low profile in Manila is really a mystery. But let me delve first into the film’s merits first.

Victor Anastacio and James Caraan play hero and villain respectively.

Playing like a nonchalant comedy of manners, the narrative oddly anchors on the myth of everyman’s super hero coupled with tangential references to environmental concern. 

While the performances are enthusiastic, it soon becomes clear that the actors are left to their own devices, thus the unexpurgated thespic borborygmus brought in by its cast, especially Angelina Kanapi who pulls out all the stops to ham it up, playing mostly to the peanut gallery. In the first quarter of the film, there’s a scene involving the consumption of an oily slab of fried chicken that went on longer than necessary. Why that scene was perceived as humorous was as wildly baffling as Kim Chiu’s so-called “moving on” three years after a breakup with Gerald Anderson.

As the story delves into “mad scientist” territory, we are soon diverted to a montage of farcical moments that range from cardboard cut-outs of planes and buildings to rubbery appendages of a B-movie monster. Like a silly sitcom episode, the scenes transport us back to an era when Japanese anime’s were mere cinematic buffoonery. 

ANTI-ENVIRONMENT

We were hoping for something akin to what Kiyoshi Kurosawa cobbled up in one of his environmental horror flicks. An environmental comedy - sounds like novelty, right? But there really wasn't adequate facility for such ambition. In fact, the narrative strain abruptly explaining “garbage segregation” was grossly misplaced; not to mention too compendious to appreciate. And what environmental message does a film carry when, to be able to seek the attention of the superhero, the aggrieved party had to create clutter and pollute his environment? We could be pleased with the slap-happy ardor of its cast, but there’s nothing much beyond its absurdity. Unfortunately, even the makers know this. Read their poster blurbs.

     

What differentiates cinematic adventure from a boobtube gagshow if the narrative design is starkly hobbled by incongruent plot devices? Inspiration is easily thrown out the window when a character starts bawling her heart out simply because “ang lamig ng kape ko” – or that her pandesal is cold as ice? Huh? Sineng Pambansa maybe “free” cinema, but freedom doesn't necessarily make good movies, and the proof of the pudding, so to speak, is in the “eating”. This just wasn't well baked. 

Angelina Kanapi, like Irma Adlawan, displays bad theater habits. She's in desperate need of a smidgen of sedative.

Gee Canlas plays the cheerful girl-next-door Rowena similar to her character in "Melodrama Negra".

Jobert Austria plays the mayor of Purok Ocho. Now imagine if you removed his character in the story. Would it radically change the plot? :)

Victor Anastacio is the garbage-attracting superhero. Anastacio was a product of Jack TV's search for a stand-up comic.

The toothsome Lims: Dan (who plays Kenneth Balboa, the protagonist's best friend) and director Dominic. 

Tahanan - Sappy and Shallow in Crapland

As part of her class assignment, Samantha Benitez (Lauren Young), a 22 year old student, must undertake a two-month immersion at an orphanage. In the program, she has to live and help out in the activities of the orphanage called Bahay Kanlungan. Though initially cautious of her acquaintances, Sam gradually warms up to the motley characters that populate this subcommunity of disavowed children. Sam is also introduced to the dedicated Mama Precy (Angelina Kanapi), one of the foster mothers. Precy stays with the children 4x a week. But unknown to the children, Sam’s earlier animosity roots from a domestic issue: her mother abandoned the family for another man. She hasn’t heard from her mother since.

The orphanage is home to 12 children, but she is drawn to three of the kids: there’s Kyla (Sabrina Man) who treats her like a big sister; Rey (Miguell Tanfelix) whose father is preoccupied attending to his bed-ridden mother; and sprightly Efren (Khen Aldovino) who has trouble staying in school. Sam would eventually get emotionally attached to the children. One day, she receives word from her dad (Mark Gil) that her mother has returned, but the latter lies comatose at the hospital. Why should Sam care? She abandoned her, didn’t she?

Among the three entries from this year’s Big Shot Filmfest, Krizzie Syfu’s “Tahanan” was the most messy. It is blotchy in presentation, not to mention exceedingly zealous where emotionality is concerned. Everything is loud and unfettered. Not only were the characters reflective of overdrawn depictions, they were also excessively overeager in temperament. In short, “OA na OA!” Angelina Kanapi, for example, keeps forgetting that this isn’t a comic material where she could just ham it up and resort to her scene stealing afflictions – as she does in every single film she’s in. Listen to her prayer, you’d think she's a stand-up comic standing before an Apollo Theater crowd. She would speak in high sing-song pitches, then suddenly latch into clipped giggles, as though an orgasm is briskly underway while she was serving lunch. It’s unnerving. If she’s out of the frame, their other foster mother Myrna takes the “stage” with her high strung demeanor. And you wonder why the children are so effed up?

Lauren Young delivers a perfunctory performance from an otherwise mediocre script. She barely buoys a briskly sagging narrative. Fact is, Young is a gifted performer and she never resorts to brimming sentimentality, but there's so much one can do with a trite script and an even dour characterization.

When cloyingly adorable Kyla confronts Sam, the once-clingy and delightful teenager suddenly morphs into a cantankerous bitch from hell, spewing acid like a possessed soul. And everyone just stares at her. No one even dared to stop her from her constipated bravado, not even the authoritative figure in the room – Mama Precy. They were just frozen stiff. Why is it so hard to understand Sam’s dilemma? Her mother is on death’s bed, for pete’s sake! Even a 6 year old would be able to discern the right thing to do! Then there’s the ever annoying Efren – Khen Aldovino – who is prone to acting out like an overcharged version of a clown! Most times he’s in front of the screen, he behaves like an amused epileptic, I just wanted to throw darts at the screen.

When the action turns to Sam’s scenes at the hospital, the movie shifts to a different film altogether. The sense of disconnect is so palpable, I suddenly missed watching MMK. You then realize the unfocused attention of a film maker who: 1) is clueless on thespic executions, thus she is ill equipped to direct her actors, 2) cannot tell a legible story without resorting to unnecessary, albeit protracted detours, 3) drawn to melodrama – and not even succeeding to a coax a single tear from her audience after all the incessant caterwauling!

SUPPLEMENTARY ANNOYANCES

While I was watching, 5 rows ahead of me were two ladies freely discussing the film, oblivious to the rest of the paying crowd. For the duration of this painful experience, you could hear them annotating scene per scene what went on during the filming. One would say, “Naka ilang take kami dyan.” And so on. So it’s safe to refer to these dingbats as part of the production team.

This begs the question: Isn’t cinema etiquette taught in their university (DLSU)? Did they think they were immune to good manners by chatting up overtime like they were in their own story conference? Such uncouth behavior from the makers of the film itself makes you wonder why they can’t even render due respect that their film required. I began to comprehend why. Because they knew they were in crapland! And only still waters run deep!

So they kept making noise!

What's with film graduates from New York Film Academy? This is the second disappointing work we've seen from an alumnus of that institution.


Khen Aldovino needs restraint... or medication... or electroconvulsive therapy! He was distracting and annoying!


Lauren Young: insightful


Miguell Tanfelix reminds me of Derick Monasterio