That Thing Called Annoying : Sigrid Andrea Bernardo's "Mr. & Mrs. Cruz"

There’s a discernable formula in the narrative structure of Sigrid Andrea Bernardo’s “Mr. & Mrs. Cruz”, the director’s follow-up to the sleeper hit “Kita Kita” starring Alessandra de Rossi and Empoy Marquez. These elements include travelogue, wistful or contemplative scenes of regretful longing, dreamy photography, melancholic theme song and a cyclical ruminative issue that consumes the protagonists.

We witness similar elements in movies like Antoinette Jadaone’s “That Thing Called Tadhana”, Sigrid Andrea Bernardo’s “Kita Kita”, Ice Idanan’s “Sakaling Hindi Makarating”, Veronica Velasco’s “Dear Other Self”, Antoinette Jadaone’s “Love You to the Stars and Back” and “Relaks, It’s Just Pag Ibig” (co-directed with Irene Villamor) and, to some extent, even Paul Soriano’s “Siargao”. The characters navigate territories unfamiliar to them in the hope that they find their soul in the backwaters of seeming isolation. Yes, it’s a lot of Jadaones in the list which suggests Jadaone’s contribution to the genre.

I was looking forward to watching “Mr. & Mrs. Cruz” and listen to Carl Guevarra and Nicole Omillo’s melancholic song “Istorya” in the context of a story. After all, Alessandra de Rossi and KZ Tandingan’s separate versions of “Two Less Lonely People in the World” were contributory to the enduring impression taken away by the audience as they left the cinema.

Two strangers meet while on holiday in Palawan. After being mistaken as a couple, they inadvertently find themselves brought closer by circumstance. They end up traveling together and, in the process, discover themselves.

Gela (Ryza Cenon) is trying to forgive herself after calling off her wedding, while Raffy (JC Santos) is still grieving after being abandoned by her bride at the altar. The odds of them meeting up are one for cinematic magic, but it fizzles as soon as both of them start prattling endlessly about insignificant topics.

In the story, they chat (and we wince) about first impressions, re-reading classics like Romeo and Juliet; bird saliva and nido soup, tattoos about freedom, Facebook versus Instagram; eating tamilok (those edible mangrove worms); finding Nemo and getting found by Dora; having children, etc.

In one scene, Raffy and Gela agree that "patience is a virtue", then they'd laughed like it was the funniest thing since Mayon moved to Naga! They'd drop lines that made my skin crawl, then slap themselves silly with, "Uyyy". They were inexplicably amused with themselves and you wonder why!

These topics hop around randomly like a schizophrenic patient seized by "flight of ideas". I was simply displeased or offended... or both!

This style of storytelling is similar to Richard Linklater's gabfest, the "Before Sunrise" trilogy. These films define their characters by the arguments they make and discussions they present, particularly when they have something significant to say about the state of things. Such was the case of "Tadhana", which was effusively delectable. When Mace (Angelica Panganiban) and Anthony (JM de Guzman) talked about things, they mold their character. We learn more about them. We’re caught up in their constant banter and engagement. They were charming. We wanted to follow their misadventures! In "Mr. & Mrs. Cruz", however, the characters were reduced to vacuous party crashers that ultimately deserved each other. Or not. I didn't care! Come on. Four years after being jilted and you haven’t moved on? You’re still traveling until “maubos ang pera ko”? How hopelessly unstimulating. There’s a better adjective I’d rather use that sounds like “loser”.

Self Discovery Romcoms

Aside from the relentless barrage of senseless prattle, there are aggravating scenes that made the film so annoying, not the least of which was having Gela puke - 3 or 4 times – all over Raffy. As if that scene wasn’t enough, Gela then licks and gobbles up her own vomitus while Raffy stares at his roommate with fascination. What part of this scene is vaguely romantic? Sagot! There goes romcom’s descent to despicability.

I vividly remember that lingering feeling last year after having watched Jason Paul Laxamana’s “100 Tula Para Kay Stella”. The comparison with "Mr. & Mrs. Cruz" is telling. Although “Tula” was more coming-of-age drama than romcom, Stella’s story left you languishing in a certain state of unbridled sadness; one that you wanted to embrace. In “Mr. & Mrs. Cruz”, however, this left me in a state of repulsion.

#mrandmrscruz

Jun Lana's "Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo May Boyfriend?!" - Hope Springs Eternal

What is it about straight women and their affinity with gay men? If you think about it, the idea is counterintuitive. But there are sensible explanations. In such friendly relationships, there is no competition. They don't vie for the same "mate" so the issue of trust is embraced rather early into the relationship. From there, it is easy to cultivate cooperation and genuine kinship.

In Jun Lana's "Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo May Boyfriend?!" wedding planner Kylie (Anne Curtis) is a proverbial gay magnet - and she's indignant. She's been bamboozled many times over by handsome and seemingly masculine men who turn out to be gay. When she meets Diego, another "perfect specimen", there are red flags waving around. To make matters worse, she's helplessly attracted to the sensitive lad. Oh no! Experience has taught her a lesson or two. But is gorgeous Diego similar to her exes? There are tell-tale signs: he's a neat freak, organized; he's a gym rat with perfect masculine posturing from biceps down to the gluteus muscles. He shrieks louder while watching a scary movie. And didn't you notice that pinky jutting out when he holds a cup? What's a girl to do?

Who shouts the louder Darna?!

Kylie takes us on a roller coaster ride, intermittently breaking the fourth wall, to prove her theory. She is assisting Diego who's getting hitched in two months time with a gorgeous vixen (Yam Concepcion) who's more caught up with her blossoming career in Germany than her upcoming wedding. If her hunch is right, Benj (Paolo Ballesteros), Kylie's boss and Diego's childhood friend, will be conveniently waiting in the wings. There are too many odds to overcome for Kylie to be hopeful. But why does she get confusing signals from Diego? Is there mutual attraction between them? One drunken night, Kylie's patience runneth over.

Jun Lana's latest mainstream vehicle is immensely entertaining and surprisingly well made. The story is structured like any romcom formula, but it briskly engages its audience without too much plot contrivances. It's in fact a simple tale to tell. So we scrutinize the machinations of the director. Lana's works can be categorized into two: those masterful indies - and the middle-of-the-road mediocre mainstream flicks. The difference between the two types is conspicuous that I tend to wonder if Lana's mainstream efforts are heavily influenced, i.e. weighed down by the studio system.

Consider the following. Type 1: "Bwakaw", "Mga Kwentong Barbero", "Anino sa Likod ng Buwan", "Roxxxanne". Type 2: "The Prenup", "Yesterday Today Tomorrow", "My Neighbor's Wife". His indies will easily land in any cineaste's best list. "Bwakaw", for example, is one of my all-time favorites. However, his mainstream movies are messy and cliched (think Jose Javier Reyes) with difficulties in reconciling decent story telling and good film making. "Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo..." changes this. The movie is fun and well tempered. More importantly, the narrative flow is fueled by a coherent script and the winking humor from its delightful cast.

Though Dennis Trillo is more than proficient as the perfect male girls and gays swoon over, this cinematic vehicle belongs to Anne Curtis who moderates her performance with pedantic relish. And why not? - she's been gypped so many times, she has walked the path that others could only talk about. Curtis exudes charisma and confidence, but she cautiously calibrates this with acrid reservation. She may not declare it succinctly, but she is still hopeful for circumstances "swinging" her way. I can relate somehow. My best friend Kyle is a dreamboat. Sometimes, we already know the answer to our questions, but hope still springs eternal.

Dennis Trillo

Anne Curtis (Courtesy of Rogue Magazine)

#bakitlahatnggwapomayboyfriend  #annecurtis

Jerry Lopez Sineneng's "Maybe This Time" - All Around Awful

Awful. I was incredibly perplexed. When Sarah Geronimo opened “Maybe This Time” with a voice over, it was like listening to a “best elocution exercise”. It could earn a good mark if we were in class, but it was an exercise nevertheless. Deriving sincerity from her skewed delivery was another thing. Why Geronimo would exclusively speak in the Queen’s tongue in a story that involved Tagalog-spewing Pinoy blue collar workers is as baffling as Kris Aquino comparing “My Little Bossings” and “Spiderman 2”. It was off-putting to say the least, because it came out stilted and unnatural. Lea Salonga in “The Voice” commented that Geronimo’s English is improving. “Push mo yan,” she’d egg her on, but hearing Geronimo’s “There was never as ussssssssssss….” kept giving me goose bumps. Sharon Cuneta spoke impeccable English yet her quotable film quotes were kilometric Tagalog words, not vacuous pretentious English phrases that reeked of hollow emotions and cliches lifted from some undisclosed romantic novels. Viva Films is apparently trying hard to elevate Sarah’s hip quotient. If Jerry Lopez Sineneng’s film is any indication, then they’re doing Sarah a disservice because it is becoming obvious what she is not.

The story leaves much to be desired. Boy meets girl (Coco Martin and Sarah Geronimo, respectively) during the latter’s outreach program in an idyllic seaside community. He flirts with her while she’s giving the poor children reading lessons. But what can you say about a guy who disrupts classes, flirts in front of the kids, puts his arms on her shoulder without any resistance, sweeps her off her feet and carries her to the sea – all these even before he officially asks if he could court her. Yeah, sure, we’re tickled pink. Their world is an alternate universe of light-hearted romance. Yipee! But we have to wait for another day before she accepts his romantic offering, right? When that day finally comes, Sarah learns that she’s been abandoned. No notes, no goodbyes, no text messages, no emails, no YM offline nor Kakao talk messages. Nada. This was of course 10 years ago.

Present day. Sarah, aka Stephanie Asuncion, works for an advertising firm whose main client is Kakao Talk (so we basically know how juvenile and cheap the company is, right?) This is headed by Ruffa Gutierrez aka Boss Monica, who eats Steph for breakfast, Steph for lunch and, once again, Steph for dinner. Monica detests Steph’s ideas so much that she had to entrust an exquisitely important project to – drum roll please! – Steph! At this point, my neck wasn't moving sideways, but spinning Linda Blair 360 degrees. Why hand over a special account to the underling who constantly drew your ire? The math here just doesn't add up. But then how would Sarah and Coco (aka Anton Bugayon) meet again if we don’t overlook this unbelievable lapse of judgement and turn of events?

Turns out, Steph is still sporting a heartache, and Anton is likewise carrying a torch for Steph. Between our star-crossed lovers is a tall and statuesque, Prada-toting Monica, replete with her middle-aged lateral canthal crow’s feet. What to do?

MISMATCHED

In 2010, Sarah Geronimo and Coco Martin starred in “Idol”, a Glee-inspired TV series that didn’t fly. In fact this was unceremoniously shut down way before it’s supposed to. Even Sarah’s million-and-counting Popsters were so bored with it, they kept their distance. Writing was middling and painfully derivative, but more than that, there was no real and palpable chemistry between the two stars. What changed 4 years later? Nothing. Their pairing is as tepid now as it once was. You would think they’d learn from the TV debacle, right?

If Sarah and Coco are a match made in purgatory, Ruffa Gutierrez’s presence is a behemoth mystery. Think Bermuda Triangle, or the Stonehenge, or (ready with those lightning-catchers!!!) Kris Aquino shamelessly proclaiming herself as the Oprah Winfrey of the Philippines. Gutierrez is simply too superannuated to complete the romantic triangle of an already belabored screen pairing. And if she were a tad intuitive as an actress, she could have helped sweeten the already murky cinematic palette. But Ruffa is a Gutierrez and what have we realized about the Gutierrezes as far as thespic quotient is concerned?

That an advertising firm is suddenly tasked to turn a sorely lisping new millionaire into a socially copacetic restaurateur is one for the fairy tales. Isn't owning P40 million socially fragrant enough? They could have invested on a speech coach who could doctor the sibilant-heavy script, couldn't they? Aga Muhlach lisps but we were never aggrieved by his deliveries in movies. Coco meanwhile struggles, and these awkward moments pile up like a dozen crucifixes on our shoulder. Oh how I suffered.

WORLD RECORD OF WORSTS

The bigger question is, why was everyone in “Maybe This Time” ridiculously bad, it almost felt like it was vying for a world record of worst performances in a single movie. Steph’s trio of friends were ill-conceived. They were fugly, a fabricated gay man and an idiotic looking lass who consistently looked befuddled. Ogie Diaz as Mama Mae was more eccentric than funny you simply wanted him rushed to the loony bin. Even Shamaine Centenera – in her worst performance ever - is dragged down by a vomit-inducing script fit for GMA Films, not a Star Cinema vehicle. It’s just embarrassing! 

GREED AND THE PINOY ARTIST

Now, which self-respecting “artist” would allow his narrative dredged with product placements? Only the greedy ones – Sharon Cuneta and Mark Meilly did this with “Crying Ladies”; Sarah Geronimo did the same with “Hating Kapatid”; Kris Aquino sprinkled that cinematic garbage called “My Little Bossings” with 20 products; now it’s Coco Martin’s turn – a pawnshop, an over-the-counter analgesic, an alcoholic beverage. If you are conscientious of the products you are endorsing, why would you endorse a business which takes advantage of the miseries of people in dire need of financial support? The pawning business is largely unregulated, thus it has unfair practices that prey on people’s desperation. Saying that it provides beneficent service to the needy is akin to proclaiming that Dracula loves his victims. ;) Sarah and Coco lovingly endorse this business. How inspiring, debah?

Product placements in a medium where people pay hard-earned money to watch and be entertained is simply a disrespectful and reprobate practice to a paying audience. Pambabastos. This is something Viva Films and Kris Aquino have yet to realize, but then the latter lives in the cloud of fantasy she wouldn't even comprehend the simple concept of delicadeza. There should be a law that would require local movies to have disclaimers outside the cinema stating how many "commercial products" are being peddled in the film. Say, "My Little Bossings" - 20 products; "Hating Kapatid" - 9 products, etc. This way, the movie going public will be made aware of such flagrant and abusive peddling. Enter at your own risk. Think Chito Rono's "Feng Shui" if it had shampoos, cooking broth, laundry products, fastfood chain, sanitary napkin, etc. in its story. Pakapalan na lang ng mukha, right Sarah?

Sometime in the film’s last third, the narrative downspirals into a mawkish melodrama. To tie the narrative pieces to an undeserved denouement, Steph enters an exhibition hall riddled with driftwood art pieces. What struck me were the droll, mediocre driftwood displays. Oh my goodness. No wonder Monica wanted to do away with Anton’s lofty ambitions. Weren't we supposed to be impressed? With such abominable driftwood displays, not by a long shot. I wouldn't take a single piece at home even if they gave them away for free.The point being, the story was supposed to show Anton's special skills in making precious pieces from driftwood. Turns out he was an unexceptional artist. Ho-hum! Back to the drawing board. He can't be an artist so he might as well be a restaurant owner. Get my drift?

We’re so glad that “Maleficent” had a bigger crowd when we watched both films on their opening day, considering that Jolie’s superlative film was screened in two cinemas and “Maybe This Time” only had one. Cinema Evaluations Board once again misrates the movie with a stupendous B rating. We’re not surprised. The people who populate the C.E.B. are the some of the most clueless, or opportunistic, individuals to have walked the earth. In this case, “B” could refer to that six-letter Tagalog word that means “waste, debris, rubble, trash, sweepingssssssssss”. And just maybe Sarah can elocute these enumerated words adequately.

"Maybe This Time" is like going to a buffet and coming home with steady bout of flatus. You pay much and are rewarded with nothing but air. Anyone who declares that it's a "solid movie" does not know what he's talking about, that's for sure.

Laughing all the way to the bank with a cinematic turd.

Mae Czarina Cruz's "Bride for Rent" - Hits and Misses

A grandson plots to deceive his grandmother by pretending that he’s married. But the grandmother, aware of his machination, hatches a scheme to teach his cunning grandson a lesson by marrying him off to the former’s accomplice. Meanwhile the third-party accomplice is actually a saint who sacrifices her puny self to provide for a family of five able-bodied souls. But she wouldn't be so poor if fate lends a hand and she suddenly finds love in the midst of all this ruckus, would she?

Would that suffice to fabricate a story that would propel a blockbuster romantic comedy? Fact: Mae Czarina Cruz’s “Bride for Rent” is 2014’s first official blockbuster with humongous crowds turning in cineplexes as early as the first screening. 

Let’s backtrack a bit. Rocco (Xian Lim) was supposed to cash in on his multimillion-peso trust fund when he turned 25. But there was a caveat to this; that he should be married before he gets the first P10 million, then P70 million if he lasted this number of weeks – and so on.

Unfortunately, Rocco doesn't have a girl friend who is willing to marry him. Moreover, his ad agency is in urgent need of cash (which he earlier splurged while gambling) or he loses a vital account that would embarrass him to his estranged father (Tirso Cruz III). So he hires aspiring actress Rocky (Kim Chiu) to be his bride. Meanwhile, the plucky girl just wants a roof on her family’s head. She agrees to the odd arrangement of marrying this stranger to save her family from being homeless. The pretense would have them living together in a conjugal home for a specific time before they could eventually call the marriage off, file for annulment, then live their lives with oodles of cash as they ride into the sunset.

But as predictable as Kris Aquino’s self-indulgences, life isn't a walk in the park, and the unlikely couple find themselves unexpectedly falling for each other. Should they admit their feelings and offer conciliatory confessions? Should Rocco re-propose and re-affirm his new found affection to the indubitable Rocky? Should the latter declare her love to the piano-playing Lothario despite her double-whammy deception? What to do?

As romcom goes, “Bride for Rent” resorts to a pother of sitcom gags that surprisingly work due to the burgeoning comic ability of Kim Chiu who’s experiencing a renaissance of sorts where her performing aptitude is concerned. She has found a persuasive and confident voice in her comic cadence. A few lines still fall flat, but Chiu is mostly resolute. The result is nothing to scoff at. Her spitfire Rockelita dela Cruz suddenly becomes a cinematic heroine worth remembering. She has several moments of impeccable precision, like when she starts enumerating her house rules, then quips with a nonchalant “Please refer to rule number 1, which you just agreed.”  How about her hooky, “Isn't it amazing? Isn't it surprising? Isn't it?” Or when Rocco suddenly catches her buck naked while showering, then she moans, “I feel so molested”. Or when she daydreams of kissing Rocco at the kitchen. Or during her repeat audition when she’d say, “Di naman ako na advice na Q&A pala to.” There’s no denying that Miss Chiu is basking on a new thespic sun, and we’re so glad for her.

What’s an adorable heroine without her equally dishy paramour? Xian Lim complements Chiu’s comic calisthenics with his earnest portrayal of the happy-go-lucky, albeit opportunistic dream boy who just wants to do better than the father he resents. Lim is probably aware of his physical charm and he makes good use of this (the kitchen daydream scene). When Rocky tries to remove his shorts, he fetchingly protests, “Hala-la-la-la-la”. Awww. Chiu and Lim have found the perfect chemistry in celluloid heaven. We just wish they’d stop Lim from singing too much on screen because, while he maybe a fantastic musician, his vocal chops aren't so much to crow about. And serenading a girl with a dissonant version of “Til I Met You” leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

While I admit to finding pleasure in the spirited performances of Kim Chiu, Xian Lim, Pilita Corales and Empoy Marquez, the story arc and details leave much to be desired. This is a romcom fueled by the imposturous ministrations of its characters. The grandson is deceitful. The grandmother is shifty. Rocky isn't the innocent by-stander either because she came into the picture aware of the schemes of both. Are we supposed to empathize with these grafters? Then there’s the lazy Dela Cruz clan. With 3 able-bodied brothers and a physically capable father (Dennis Padilla), why is scrawny Rocky working so hard while her four male kapamilyas are sitting on their arses, feeling sorry for themselves? This is one free-loading, indolent family I'd rather do without. They all deserve to be taken to Cedric Lee’s condo unit, no doubt. Maybe Mr. Lee can knock some sense into them as much as he’s capable of disarranging Vhong Navarro’s facial and skeletal - and allegedly even genital anatomy.

What lucid lola would push her apo to a spurious marriage? Even if this were “to teach him a lesson… so he learns to value what he has”, isn't she aware that sometimes no amount of money can guarantee a successful annulment case? Aren't old folks supposed to uphold marriage as a "sacred sacrament”? Yet she plays with this covenant, making God an accomplice to her lesson-teaching scheme. That is some grandmother.

Several other points are worth noting. The house given as a gift by Pilita was posh and huge, yet Xian had to coin toss for him to get a chance to stay on their matrimonial bed. Otherwise, it’s the couch for him. Weren’t there other rooms in this gargantuan two-story house? Poor, poor Xian.

The biggest glitch here is the restaurant scene. When Rocco had to re-propose, wasn't that Rocky’s chance to come clean and accept his real proposal, instead of unnecessarily admitting her part of the devious plot? After all, she’s admitted to Lala that she’s falling for him, and Lala seems to genuinely like her. They had to rock the boat to maneuver tension into the convoluted story. The big revelation (drum roll please!) was that their marriage was a sham. Who didn't know that? Rocco knew. Rocky knew. Lala knew. Now, even Rocco’s father knows. Such happy coincidences indeed. The succeeding scenes were too farcical to swallow. Rocco turns his ire to his crowd and declares, “This doesn't give you the right to play with my feeling.” This coming from someone who jumpstarted this whole put-up job? I had to scratch my head.  

The film succeeds to tickle some fancy. But if Mae Cruz wants to be taken seriously, she has to learn how to tighten her narrative and seriously sit on her story line instead of resorting to the moth-eaten romcom formula that Star Cinema is feeding her. For now, she has to thank her lucky stars for Kim Chiu and Xian Lim’s refreshing performances. That may not be enough next time.

Xian Lim and Kim Chiu: The hit-making team.

Emmanuel Palo's A Moment in Time - Charm and Romantic Blunders

The first time Patrick (Coco Martin) sets his eyes on Jillian (Julia Montes) during a train ride, he couldn’t take his eyes off the cautious lass. But getting her name and meeting her were a different matter. The pretty lady is reticent with her associations, keeping mostly to her limited social circle. All she wants is to continue her studies in Amsterdam and forget a rather nebulous past.

Patrick pursues Jillian, painting her likeness on public walls and serenading the girl in her school. With such persistence, Jillian eventually gives in to Patrick’s unabashed romanticism. But unknown to Patrick, Jillian’s past isn’t so isolated from his. The young lad and his sister Mai (Ella Cruz) were orphaned three years ago when their Qatar-bound mother (Zsa zsa Padilla) was run over by a car.

What happens when Patrick finally strings their perplexing past? Will he be as gracious as his courting ways? More importantly, will he be magnanimous?

Emmanuel Palo’s “A Moment in Time” makes a cinematic discourse on the nature of love and its aptitude to exculpate fatal blunders of the past. Coating his artistic canvas with cotton candy scenography, the film is as charming as its leads. Coco Martin, after a sketchy turn in Jerome Pobocan’s “Born to Love You”, succeeds with an imprudent, if disproportionate delineation of a grieving man who pulls out all the stops to woo a dismissive girl who, it turns out, has demons of her own.

It’s refreshing to see a relaxed Coco Martin far from the teeth-gnawing rigor of melodrama. He embellishes his performance with pizzazz, imbuing the screen with wide grins and even a delightful song (Orange and Lemons’ “Umuwi Ka Na Baby”) and dance (oohlala!) scene. Julia Montes displays her considerable gravitas in a performance that becomes one of the greatest suffering heroines of the silver screen. She befittingly complements Martin’s charismatic romcom hero.

The plot is predictable at times, and there are occasional annoying strains in its narrative formation; i.e. once successful in their romantic pursuit, they always end up turning away. It’s a head scratcher really, but formula is what gives the genre its hustle.

It could have been an interesting dissertation following its earlier premise: What indeed is the face of love? But this strain gets forfeited in the narrative ruble. We don't expect mainstream cinema to go further than cursory glimpses beyond philosophical musings.

Plot contrivances are inherent in local romcoms. Regardless, “A Moment in Time” is a harmless entertainment fodder that rightfully bestows a feather in the adorably lisping Coco Martin’s romcom cup. 

As for Julia Montes, this German-Pinay beauty proves to her audience that her irrefutable boobtube success in the teleserye “Walang Hanggan” is no fluke. After all, it’s hard to argue with a full crowd who riddles the cinema atmosphere with romantic giggles. Let’s forget for a few minutes that getting a Schengen visa for a European sojourn isn't as easy – or as cheap as a P180,000 bank deposit - as they’d have you believe. 

Coco Martin bikes around Amsterdam's scenic countryside.

Julia Montes as Jillian Linden: stricken with guilt.

Coco Martin  as Patrick becomes a full-fledged romcom hero. 

Rory Quintos' Suddenly It's Magic - Engaging Escapist

Marcus Hanson (Mario Maurer) has always wanted to be an actor, but being a Thai celebrity is a different matter. Everyone wants a piece of him and it’s wearing him down. When perennial screen partner and girl friend Sririta Taylor (Pimchanok Luevisadpaibul) drops Marcus for another man, the pressure to keep appearances overwhelms. After all they have a huge fan base as screen sweethearts – and their current predicament might spell box office disaster for their new project. As a consequence, Marcus feels lost. He’s been in the business since he was 12. Things were different back then when everything was “uncomplicated, happy, perfect”. Now he wants to get away from it all; somewhere no one knows who he is. And his Pinay house keeper Chinggay (Joy Viado) gives him an idea.

Marcus escapes to Laoag north of the Philippine capital where he meets Joey Hermosa (Erich Gonzales), an unassuming local lass who takes pride in baking and peddling her delicious cupcakes. Unfortunately, Marcus makes a big misstep when, after a bite, he calls her cake “the saddest tasting cupcake ever” unaware that it was Joey’s creation. Joey is, of course, livid. And wooing the hard-working Pinay becomes a hurdle. So Marcus pulls out all the stops and makes the charm offensive. What lady wouldn't listen - with hearts a flutter - when a gorgeous Thai movie prince makes “ligaw” and “harana”, debah? A simple Pinay couldn't be immune to Marcus’ undeniable appeal where millions of Thai girls have already fallen.

Joey flies back with Marcus to Thailand. But the public’s reception for Joey is tepid. People call her “ugly” and she gets banned on the set of Marcus’ film set. What’s worse, Marcus starts missing important appointments, including an endorsement deal with a popular cola and a lucrative, albeit crucial audition with an American film director! When Joey meets Marcus’ mai (Apasiri Chantrasmi), she gets told that, while she may be good for Marcus, their coupling isn’t good for his career; something that he’s dreamt of all his life. Now he’s letting it all go. What’s a girl to do? 

Rory Quintos’ “Suddenly It’s Magic” traverses the modern day fairy tales. It's a world where a prince meets his unlikely princess. The cinematic palette dazzles with a motley of kaleidoscopic vignettes; postcard-pretty sites (windmills in Bangui, Ilocos Norte; the temples of Chiang Mai and Muang Boran, the miniature floating village of Ancient Siam; the picturesque Banyan Tree Resort, etc.); of local color that brims with enthralling traditions like the renowned Pinoy fiesta, or praying in Buddhist temples and Catholic churches, etc.) It’s hard not to fall in love with the pretty canvas. But the exposition, designed exactly like the current – and very popular – Thai romcoms, is limited by the scope of the genre.

"Suddenly..." is the perfect escapist fare. Situations arise as briskly, grazing over issues at the flick of a finger.

Mario Maurer is undeniably a sight to behold. His screen presence is so potent you don’t want to take your eyes off the screen when he’s there. He absolutely dominates the screen so you don’t wonder why he’s a huge movie star in Thailand. Maurer doesn't mind looking silly – as when he lurches into beat boxing and rapping to serenade his leading lady. Maurer is simply swoon worthy - and I've never heard an audience giggle and swoon as much as they did here - and for the most benign scenes. One thing's sure, Maurer has conquered the Philippines and how. This year, the Thais have made it to the Philippine silver screen with the “other” Superstar Ananda Everingham appearing in Cinemalaya's homoerotic “Kalayaan”.

Erich Gonzales, like her previous starrers, displays her relaxed demeanor in a character that could easily be schmaltzy. She is truly a rare combination of beauty and thespic wisdom. Despite a disconsolate back story (she’s the illegitimate love child of the incumbent governor played by Jestoni Alarcon), Erich disallows her character to wallow in anguish or self pity. Her story is seemingly told in almost cursory tack adequately harmonizing with the romcom genre. Erich’s gift is more the voice of experience than instinct making her one of the brainier actresses of her generation. Many other actresses who grew up in the business rely on experience, but Gonzales seems more cerebral. And yes, a heavy handed stroke doesn't do the genre good. So she does this with a calm and collected flair.

Unfortunately, the limitation of the genre is also its weakest link. When Marcus returns to Ilocos to reclaim his love (after a successful stint making his first Hollywood film), he faces the approbate beauty with  adequate conviction - that this time around, they will try to make it work. How? They have the same issues, and these remain unresolved. Marcus' mother and managing firm still think of Joey as a hurdle. He still has fans who believe he should be with Sririta. How different could their situation be this time? If they go about it the same way they did the first time, he will once again lose his dreams and put the blame on the hapless lass whose only "sin" was loving a popular star. Then they're back to square one, aren't they? The film, it seems, falls back to easy resolutions - and this is crystal to any thinking viewer.

"Suddenly It's Magic" isn't Quintos' best. In fact it could be her weakest, and any dingbat who fashions himself as a thinking "critic" will easily see through the flimsy, escapist veneer. But the more obvious fact is, the flick is a bowl of joy. It is a blissful watch. It's the sweetest cotton candy. It's saccharine sweet and tickles your fancy, but it's fluffiness melts in gustatory delusions.

"The saddest tasting cupcake ever..." cries Marcus.

A temple in Chiang Mai

An Ilocos beauty

So many lip locking scenes for Mario and Erich.

Zany duo hams it up before the camera (above and below).

Younger Mario Maurer who's already a looker as a pubescent boy.

A German-Thai charmer conquers the Philippines.

Be still my beating heart. :)

Beautiful Erich Gonzales