Chris Martinez's "Working Beks" - Cinematic Preponderance and the Gay Men

Okay. Here's a premise that's almost too simplistic to share. But sometimes, people need reminding. Like other homo sapiens, gay men are human beings with their own burdens to carry. In Chris Martinez's "Working Beks", some of these specimen get fishbowl scrutiny. 

The film follows the lives of five gay men within a 24-hour period. Champ Reyno (Edgar Allan Guzman), a matinee idol, figures in a gay video scandal. He’s gone incommunicado and taping for his popular teleserye is put on hold for two weeks. 

After seeing his mother plead on television, Champ resurfaces. His handlers decide to face him off with a veteran investigative journalist (Leo Martinez) for a scripted revelation that would have him admit his romantic affair with perennial screen partner Joy Madriaga (Bela Padilla). But how do you smokescreen a viral video scandal?

Meanwhile, Tommy Sarmento (TJ Trinidad), a marketing executive for a liquor and beverage company, is on tenterhooks. Their company's number one product endorser is missing, but his extracurricular shenanigans might affect sales of their product. More than this, Tommy is gearing up for a well-earned promotion. But he soon discovers that he is being passed up for the position because he is gay. In fact, his homophobic boss detests Tommy’s flaunting of his “alternative lifestyle' - one that involves overachieving children and a supportive partner (Arnold Reyes).

Jet (Prince Stefan), a call center agent, learns that the random stranger he’s recently had unprotected sex with committed suicide upon learning that he’s HIV positive. To make matters worse, Jet has been feeling under the weather, with symptoms that include fever, coughing, malaise and night sweats. Does he? Could he?

Jet's lifestyle is an accident waiting to happen. His promiscuity has him cruising bars, hooking him up with strangers 7-8 days a week. His body is taking the brunt  of it all. He knows he needs to get himself tested. But he realizes that the journey to finding the truth is harder to accomplish.

Gorgeous aka Gregorio (John Lapuz), a cross-dressing food vendor, struggles to support his extended family who all depend on him. His mounting obligations don’t allow him to socialize so he keeps flirtations with a hunky security guard Gardo (Jeric Raval) at bay. Meanwhile, his no-good father (Rez Cortez) is harassing him for a dole out, something that he doesn’t have.  

Finally, Mandy (Joey Paras), a “reformed” gay man, is preparing to march down the aisle with sensitive bride Judith (Cai Cortez) who’s aware of his struggles. Unfortunately, Champ’s sex video provides an inconvenient bump on the road. This temptation is too potent to remind him of his real preferences. As a desperate measure, he enlists the help of his colleague Brother Benj (Atak) to cure him of his homosexual tendencies. In the process, they employ various methods of pseudoscience once believed to avert homosexuality. Would they work or should Mandy just walk away?

MORAL APATHY AND HEDONISM

Intermittently told in dramedic fashion, the cross-section of characters tackles concerns of the contemporary gay men, and there's considerable amusement to be had. Jet's story particularly rings like a discordant bell. In a society where even "killing" is sanctioned, endorsed and condoned by the authorities and its gutter-minded apologists, moral conventions become moot and academic. 

Killing loses its "illegality" (let's forget the moral grounds) because it is no longer regarded a social taboo. It's an everyday occurence. Weighed alongside these murders, Jet's nihilism seems inconsequential; a non-issue, in fact. What people don't realize is that this moral apathy is gradually rejecting even the very basic social conventions like manners and social grace.

In the movie, Jet finds meaning in his life by filling a vacuumn satisfied by his material desires, leading to an excessive hedonistic lifestyle of shallow sex and loud social events with even louder, if disposable, friends. He congratulates himself for his sexual catharsis that only provides temporary escapism. Unfortunately, Jet represents a steadily growing population of nihilists. 

DIGITAL VOYEURISM

Champ's dilemma, on the other hand, is a common scenario nowadays. This is a new world that fosters digital voyeurism, that even orgasm is one-click away. People's inherent nature to connect allows others to take advantage, employing the digital media to nefarious use. How many personalities have succumbed to the lure of the watchful and omnipresent video camera? These salacious videos, recorded and even traded for a bigger audience, have willing viewers because people are basically curious and wouldn't want to be left out of the bandwagon. Add into the fray, that dash of superiority of witnessing a person satisfying his most basic urges. 

This is why watching Champ tintinnabulate another guy's genitalia on video isn't too alien a concept. Not anymore. This leaves Mandy's story a bit stale, prosaic. Champ's proud member becomes part of a hundred others, nothing particularly special unless he has a gold-plated schlong the size of a molave branch. If I were Mandy, I'd go watch the video then move on. A mere sex video won't figure in any normal person's decisions - gay or straight. It baffles me why a silly video would make a dent on Mandy's marital plans, to be honest. The most that we should get from his story is its comic proclivities, a pampakwela more than a didactic exposition.  

This takes us to the elements surrounding Mandy's gay exorcism a.k.a. "conversion therapy". The design involves a series of "conditioning" meant to catechize or indoctrinate the mind into believing that homoerotic tendencies are distasteful and aberrant. It should averse the subject.

Thus "aversion therapy" is employed in the form of repetitive mantras ("I love the vagina", "Gay is not okay"); emesis therapy preconditions the subject to throw-up upon application of a visual stimulus, i.e. half-naked men. Then there's the more drastic and invasive electric shock therapy (ECT) employed similarly for schizophrenics and depressives unresponsive to medicine.

These treatments are, of course, considered archaic nowadays and have no scientific basis so it is rather odd that such ridiculous methods find their way in a modern, "educated" comic tale. But let's treat this as an artistic license to mine the comic possibilities. The result is a hit-and-miss affair. It would have been productive if they shortened these episodes in favor of a more grounded, albeit situational approach involving Mandy's surroundings and personal relationships. After all, it should be clear to every half-wit that no amount of rubber band punishment will change one's sexual preference. How do you combat an affliction too deeply ingrained in the genetic composition of a person? Immanuel Kant’s critique on metaphysics and conditioning doesn’t have a place in this diatribe. Surely, you don't psychoanalyze nature nor treat it as a pathological disease.

MOST SYMPATHETIC

Among the five characters, it is John Lapus' skillfully depicted and well-limned turn as Gorgeous we find most sympathetic, and for obvious reasons. Gorgeous doesn't deny his cross-dressing nature, and he acts and dresses like one, but this doesn't stop him from working hard for the people he loves. 

Neither does his homosexuality prevent him from becoming a decent person - and a productive member of society. In fact, it is his selflessness that defines him, not his being gay. It is in Gorgeous' story where we find the movie's cinematic worth and beating heart.

Like many Chris Martinez films, "Working Beks" bristles with wit and, in some way, cinematic urgency. Portions of it skid away carelessly, and stereotypical delineations sometimes get in the way of an insightful discourse. Nevertheless, it is a brave effort to showcase stories of the gender-benders otherwise relegated to comic support in mainstream films. While the arc of the narrative doesn't exactly allow it to soar, it is hard to dismiss the film as something less relevant. The stories fleetingly interconnect, but you get a decussatory feel among the characters; that there's a string that pulls them together to fuel cinematic preponderance.

     

Why we sometimes despise Web Criticism? (Our featured post)

- Read and weep: Cinema Bravo's Gag-Inducing Contributions

http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html



#workingbeks   #chrismartinez   #edgardallanguzman   #johnlapus   #tjtrinidad   #belapadilla   #princestefan   #joeyparas

Tony Reyes' Si Agimat, Si Enteng at Si Ako - What People Deserve

Enteng Kabisote’s (Vic Sotto) life couldn’t be more satisfactory, but for his mother-in-law Ina Magenta’s (Amy Perez) occasional surprise visits even during Enteng and Faye’s (Gwen Zamora) intimate moments. One day, Enteng finds another visitor from the kingdom of Amuleto, the sword-bearing warrior Agimat (Bong Revilla) who needs his help: Agimat, you see, is getting hitched to warrior princess Samara (Sam Pinto). The new couple wants the Kabisotes’ halcyon lifestyle on Earth. The earthly couple has been married for 25 years – and Agimat and Samara want the same. But what if invaders try to overrun Agimat’s kingdom again? “Iilaw ang aking kuwintas, at agad akong babalik,” assured the amorous warrior. Unfortunately, life in Manila isn’t a walk in the park. Agimat has scanty skills for the modern world so he relies on Enteng for his family’s daily sustenance. After all, Samara is heavy with a child.

Meanwhile, environmental activist Angeline Kalinisan Ortesa, aka “Ako” (Judy Anne Santos) is tickled pink when she finally meets the legendary duo. “Super duper guapo,” Ako giggles interminably. She briskly insinuates herself in the enviable company, prodding occasional “group hugs” at every possible turn. This annoys wives Faye and Samara no end, seeing Ako as a husband-grabbing opportunist. Who wouldn't when they find the pretty stranger wetting her knickers whenever she’s around their husbands? Unknown to them, Ako is herself an “engkantada”; a magic-wielding princess who mean no harm. But these marital concerns are the least of their problems. In the netherworlds of Engkantasia, Amuleto, and Diwatara (Samara’s kingdom), an onslaught of invasion looms. The dark forces from the evil kingdom of Tokatok have plotted a takeover. When Aiza (Aiza Seguerra) and her friends get captured by the alien forces, the rest of the world is under siege. What to do?  

Agimat, Enteng Kabisote and Ako

Director Tony Reyes’ “Si Agimat, Si Enteng at Si Ako” is narratively spare and its content artistically destitute. Employing “invasion” (again) to move its plot, and spruced up with the alacrity akin to grade school children, the movie is spreading itself too thin. Haven’t we seen this before? They introduced a new character in Judy Anne Santos’ Ako, but this hardly makes up for its cinematic vacuity. No one really roots for a girl who salivates silly in the company of married men; forget that she’s the svelte Judy Anne Santos. Moreover, the annoying Ako is bereft of any form of empathy, making her presence silly and negligible at best. That she fawns over an in-law hating hero and a potbellied warrior, both wrinkly, is one for the books. Something has to be said about sensory deprivation that makes people weak in the knees in the company of curmudgeonly protagonists.

The film is loud. As it careens recklessly towards its conclusive comeuppance, it drives into auditory overkill. Il n’est pire eau que l’eau qui dort,right? The shallowest makes the most noise to compensate for its hollowness. There’s a gay-and-pink version of Hulk (John Lapus), a shameless Sun Cellular product placement, a gang of white-painted ethnic tribesmen, a horde of alien invaders who look like bad Disney squids, and CGI effects circa 1990. Yes, Virginia. In the age of ubiquitous high technology, we’re back to cheap special effects: the screen turns dark whenever a special effect is introduced. And this one is co-produced by 4 or 5 film companies, GMA Films included? How much did they invest in it, P10,000 each and zero brain activity? Alleluiah, pagpalain ang nagtitipid. Yet this film is raking oodles at the box office! The Filipinos who trooped to the cinemas to watch this – and in the process, ignored Nora Aunor’s “Thy Womb” or Mark Meilly’s “El Presidente” – get what they deserve. Garbage!

Enteng gets a massage from Faye.

Samara fights the ethnographic nemesis

The diwatas join forces.

The Mommy Returns - Horrible Creatures

Ruby and William Martirez (Pokwang and Gabby Concepcion) are celebrating their 25^th wedding anniversary with a plush party. While fixing themselves up, Ruby gets fatally electrocuted. She dies instantaneously leaving her three children - Amy (Kiray Celis), Toffi (Gerald Pesalga) and Saf (Jillian Ward) – under William’s care. But the decorous and successful dad harbors a secret that requires urgent action. He has been diagnosed with Prostatic Cancer! And he dreads leaving his children as orphans.

At the wake, William serendipitously meets commercial model Catherine (Ruffa Gutierrez) who’s had a crush on him since she was a little girl. Two weeks after Ruby’s burial, William proposes. Without much fanfare, they get married. The children ardently oppose and show their displeasure by making life a living hell for the amicable madrasta.

Meanwhile, Ruby finds herself at the gates of heaven where she meets Jorga (John Lapus), the caretaker of Purgatory, where Ruby awaits judgment. As fate would have it, Ruby manages to escape Purgatory and goes back to Earth to settle some unfinished business with her family. In fact, she wants to free her family from the clutches of Catherine who, to her, is a repugnant character. She has to be eliminated or her family might suffer.

While patiently trying to win over the children’s good graces, Catherine tries hard but never quite succeeds: she’s eternally running late; buys the wrong stuff at the grocery, finds her culinary specialty peppered with live mice. Everything goes awry and she senses this has something to do with the dead wife whose face is emblazoned all over the house, sneeringly looking down her way. Moreover, she experiences vivid dreams of a hand-to-hand combat against a cantankerous Ruby. What’s a new wife to do?

With the children brazenly denouncing her presence, would she ultimately give up the domestic ruckus? Is William really dying? More importantly, will Ruby ever succeed with her mission to get rid of Catherine? Will Ruby find her way back to the netherworld where San Pedro waits for his pet chicken Manny inadvertently taken along Ruby’s journey?

The story’s gist is impudently derived from the TV series “100 Days to Heaven”, without even mentioning Vic Sotto’s “Pak! Pak! My Doctor Kwak” which had an almost similar theme. But Director Joel Lamangan populates his cinematic palette with the most horrible excuse of human beings. There’s the dying father who’s rushing his matrimonial plunge so someone could take care of his children when he croaks (isn’t deception horrible?) There’s the new stepmother who dubiously agrees to marry her beau less than two weeks after their serendipitous meeting (why was she that desperate to tie the knot?) There’s the greedy in-law (Gloria Diaz as Mabel Diaz Laurel, a society matron who has fallen on hard times) who’s ecstatic over Catherine’s marriage to William as it would allow her to pay off all her accumulating debts (aren’t we the opportunistic in-law?) There are the meanest children who would do everything to embarrass and plague their stepmom with cussed accusations and disparaging remarks. Is this the accurate picture of modern youth? Rude, disrespectful and vicious? When you have kids like these, why would you want to be a mom? I shudder at the thought.

You wouldn’t be too surprised about the children’s demeanor. After all, apples (rotten ones) don’t fall too far from the tree, and their mother Ruby exemplifies the worse of them all. She wasn’t merely distrustful when she was still alive (she was a jeweler). As a wandering ghost, she’s consumed by a blind initiative to wreck havoc on the life of Catherine. Why would she want that on a girl fortuitously named Catherine (wink, wink)? If she really cared about her kids, would she prefer them fatherless as well if indeed William dies from cancer? Or is she clueless about his ailment? Don’t ghosts acquire a little more wisdom after passing over? Sometimes, there are tenets of common sense that aren’t easily overlooked. And overlook these, they did!

But wait. I am not quite done yet. Even Inday, the nanny (Moi Marcampo) is duplicitous; Rodel, the ex-boyfriend (Ervic Vijandre) is a scornful ex-convict. Heck, even Senior San Pedro’s assistant, the effete Jorga (Lapus), is a horned out fag lusting after construction workers. Where do we find decent human beings in this Lamangan macrocosm?

The film concludes with one of cinema's most ridiculously abrupt and petty resolutions. I had to pinch myself to realize that all the problems have been concluded by a horrid gown. ;) In fact, if delivering a gown was all it took to patch a domestic squabble, then we should all deliver gowns to find our happily ever after.

Sapphire, Topaz and Amethyst

Children burst with merriment when they learned that Catherine was leaving the house.

Joel Lamangan, once reviled by critics, hasn’t done a mainstream commercial film in a while so I was (well, not exactly looking forward but) expecting a work that’s middle of the road. After all, the director’s experience should teach him proficiency is some aspects of the film making process. Or has it? “The Mommy Returns” conspicuously underscores Lamangan’s fall into mediocrity and highlights all of his weaknesses. In fact, he has never done a movie this bad, he might as well farm camote on the hills of Alitagtag than do another film of this caliber. 

Pokwang, in her second lead role this year (she opened the film year with "A Mother's Story"), keeps the movie afloat, but doesn’t really transcend anything more than a perfunctory conduct to fulfill a banal character written on “bursts of ideas” (scriptwriter Ricky Lee recently explained on television about Mother Lily’s acumen to mine stories: “She has bursts of ideas that we freely develop into full stories.”) The enthusiastic comedienne once again parades her bevy of circus-styled costumes that puts Cirque du Soleil to shame! I was half expecting a trapeze swinging her way. You know, like a burst of inspiration, debah?

Gabby Concepcion and Ruffa Gutierrez have been around the business for so long. But it’s amazing how they have evolved into hammy performers. Gabby, for example, walks around with episodic emotions. He is dying, yet you never fully understand why you don’t feel the grief. There is no emotional baggage to speak of. Isn't this pertinent since you recently lost your wife? And that you’re dying from prostatic cancer? A scene has him knocking on his effete son Toffi’s room after getting the sad news from his doctor. With shoulders hunched down, Gabby should be almost inconsolable, right? Well, not really. He succeeded to look tired instead. Not grieving. Concepcion seems to live in the past, say circa 1989 when he was doing “Gorio and Tekla” with Maricel Soriano, or “Rosa Mistica” with Snooky Serna. Nothing much has changed. Even his looks has stagnated into delectable youth and unfortunately, bland demeanor.

Gabby Concepcion

Ruffa Gutierrez, on the other hand, can’t seem to drop her beauty queen schtick so she walks around with an imaginary crown on her head - and a throne pasted at her backside. You don’t quite find the character in her. What you feel instead is someone languishing on glory that’s so 1993 (when she won Miss World 2^nd runner-up) – and that’s almost 20 years ago! Moreover, she doesn’t mirror the deportment of a 37 year old lady who has attained character. She wallows in a perceived glorious past. She was a better actress in 1993 when she did Joey Romero’s “Maricris Sioson: Japayuki”. Isn’t this sad? What is so wrong with a clan that has grown around the performing industry yet each member is as bland as the next sibling? Grabeh!

Kiray Celis is a funny presence because she takes her role to heart as Gabby’s obstinate daughter. She’s even funnier when she stands beside Hiro Magalona (who’s playing her suitor and confidant). The humor rests on her straight forward depiction, taking on something comic for dramatic. When Ruffa, as the stepmom, gifts her with a puppy, she shrieks: “Isauli mo na yan…beach!” Of course she meant “bitch”. She repeats to emphasize, “Di ba babaeng aso is beach?” Good heavens. Now let's practice elocution, children: "Beach! Beeeech!" "Bitch! betch" 'Betcha by golly wow"! "Life is a beach, bitch!" Now isn't that fun?

Finally, one of my sources of annoyances is the casting of Moi Marcampo (Piolo Pascual’s ex- girl Friday and former Survivor castaway) as the family’s nanny Inday. Instead of wearing a yaya’s frock, she traipses around with earrings the size of a gong, 3-inch shoes, designer outfit, cringe-worthy backless blouses and a cosmopolitan coif as though she was walking the runway even when merely serving juice. I get the intention that her character is rooting for. Unfortunately Marcampo is so raw and discombobulated where her acting acumen is concerned. Simple sentences are met with consumate distress. She can't even scoff properly. She ultimately ends up looking like a displaced street walker in desperate need of a customer. Whoever gave her this delusion that she should get into films deserves to be tied down the stakes and tickled for 12 straight hours until he pees in his knickers! Marcampo was given lines to accentuate her supposed hip presence, but she stalls in monotone and incomprehension. When she finds a stray chicken in a room, she painfully exhorts: “There’s a big cock in the kitchen!” There should be laughter. Instead, a cold shiver ran down my spine. Something gargantuan hit her in the face. Inexperience. The agonizing kind.     

Ruffa Gutierrez and Pokwang

Kiray Celis' amusing presence. Below are some of her enviable encounter with  the boys.

It's in the attitude: Kiray with Gerald Anderson, Sam Concepcion, Daniel Padilla, Markky Stroem and Inigo Pascual (Papa Piolo's son).

Kiray with Enchong Dee. I'd trade places with Kiray's right hand. Haha. Can I grope the rectus abdominis too? :;) 

Kiray with Aldred Gatchalian.

Hiro Magalona plays Kiray's suitor and confidant.

Moi Marcampo: Clueless! (left)

Ervic Vijandre plays Rodel, Catherine's ex-boyfriend.

Moron 5 and the Crying Lady - Apropos Titling & Boy Abunda' s Skewed Thoughts

As children, Albert, Isaac, Aris, Michael Angelo and Mozart (Luis Manzano, Billy Crawford, Marvin Agustin, Martin Escudero and DJ Durano respectively) have breezed through grade school with copious difficulty for them to finish the whole term in 8, instead of 6 years. Acquiring the scholastic competence of 8 year olds, the quintet becomes close friends, growing together and bungling things in wild abandon. But instead of suffering from their stolidity, they instead wreck havoc on others: their teachers, classmates, principal, and an effete classmate who’s infatuated with Albert. In fact, this gay classmate almost got blind.

A decade later, our protagonists have grown up still hurdling their final year of high school. One day, they crashed the wedding ceremonies of Becky Pamintuan (John Lapus) and in one inadvertent sweep, they’ve outed the transsexual bride to her unassuming Japanese lover Hiroshi. The groom dies on the spot. Hence, derided Becky plots her condign retribution. Hell hath no fury like a gay man scorned! Becky then sets the quintet up for the murder of her father (a sloppily organized crime scene) that eventually threw the guys in prison. How will our quintet extricate themselves from this predicament? Will they ever find justice – when even their folks want them incarcerated? Has Becky succeeded with her implacable schemes?

In what could be one of mainstream cinema’s silliest slapstick romp, Wenn Deramas’ “Moron 5 and the Crying Lady” succeeds to bring Pinoy comedy to lower depths of cinematic mediocrity. The brains behind this cinematic faux pas ought to be reminded that idle anatomical parts have a tendency to atrophy. In this case, there is luminous proof of vacuity of cerebral functions. So I am genuinely concerned for the mental health of Wenn Deramas and his co-script writer Mel Martinez-del Rosario. Have their brains shrunk and dwindled to the size of peanuts?

The energy on display in “Moron 5” is one of fervid stamina, the lines are delivered with enough ebullience you sometimes lose yourself in the precise cadence of their comic camaraderie. In fact, talent bristles and overflows in its cast, but for DJ Durano who’s eternally ill at ease with his humor. Why he keeps getting roles in comedy is always a painful watch. But while energy isn’t lacking in “Moron 5”, it’s the narrative content that’s grossly spare and deficient. This is Wenn Deramas at his most uncircumspect. The funny bones have been left somewhere in Burkina Faso, and if you don’t know where that is, try Gaborone – the capital of Botswana, which finds its way in a life-saving quiz show at the tail end of the story.

The narrative is sprinkled with inane gags that are too silly or senseless to relate, but I shall try. Like a prison riot that started because Isaac (Crawford) feels it’s unjust to eat a pinakbet without an okra. He wants his okra bad and he wants it on his prison tray. After all, okra has been dismissed and rudely ignored in “Bahay Kubo”. While shopping for second hand items, the quintet turns to the branded items: LV for Lou Veloso; Armani Pacquiao; Zara Geronimo; Gap by Annabel (Rama) and Nadia (Montenegro). Laughing already?

In another scene, the quintet line up and distribute lines to: "Ang susunod na eksena ay may rating na SPG. Patnubay at gabay ng magulang ang kinakailangan." Since when was this dour MTRCB reminder funny? When Mike's (Escudero) father asks him: "Tumakas ka?" He replies with a horribly cheesy and effete "Whatever!" What was that?

Among the supporting players, it's Jon Santos who plays his part to the hilt. Jon Santos mischievously essays Luis' mom Vilma Santos impersonating the Batangas Governor with moxie: "Are you sure you are ok alright? I am glad you're alright ok, son!" While he was rallying for Luis during the final duel, Santos goes all out with his Vilmaisms: "Si Val, si Val na walang malay!" Then he shouts: "My son is not a pig!" When reminded that it wasn't his line, he composes himself and quips, "Ay, sa kumare ko pala yun!" then continues with "Ding, ang bato!" You can't help but laugh at Santos' irreverence! He also underlines the hit-and-miss character of the film's humor.

Luis Manzano has found his footing in Deramas’ comedy thus he appears comfortable and watchable despite the puerile scenes he’s had to endure. He enjoys easy chemistry with Billy Crawford who appears too hefty, his flabby, protruding abdomen juts out like a Helium-full pillow. And he’s going to make his European comeback looking this pudgy? You just wonder. Marvin Agustin, while expectedly competent, seems misplaced in the company of his younger co-stars. In fact, this line up is as discrepant where age is concerned, you wouldn’t believe they were all in the same class together – unless there was an alternate universe, of course. Martin Escudero coasts on his past triumphs, intermittently interchanging his Michael Angelo character with his Remington (in “Zombadings”). This doesn’t bode well for a young upstart because we start to wonder if his earlier thespic success was indeed a “fluke”.

Clockwise from top left: Luis Manzano, Billy Crawford, DJ Durano, Martin Escudero, Marvin Agustin


John Lapus: made it tolerable.

John Lapus works hard as the vindictive Becky Pamintuan. In fact, he made this experience a tad more tolerable, but not by much. As the transsexual Becky, his turn has thrown the issue of transsexuals entering the Miss Universe pageant to the fore. More than ever, his scenes make it palpably choleric. Is it really enough that she was born with the "emotions of a woman trapped in a man's body" to make him a genuine member of the fairer sex? Whether his sexual orientation is that of one, his original anatomical make up will never make him a woman.

SOUR MOMENT

And let me digress. When Boy Abunda took it upon himself to vigorously expound and lecture on sexual re-assignments, gender identifications and orientations (as though he’s the only enlightened one about these topics) in last Sunday’s “The Buzz”, we found it unethical to actually impose his crooked thoughts on his audience. Moreover, it was disrespectful to the Binibining Pilipinas winners to have to ask their opinion about this matter when they knew his (and LGBT’s) stand on the issue. You do not refute the host of a show or you risk his good grace. That's common sense.

So Mr. Abunda, while you offered a disclaimer that your thoughts are not an imposition, lecturing about sexual orientation and gender identification left a bitter taste in the mouth. It was rude and your points were a fallacious clutter of gibberish desperation.

“Women have become presidents, black people who used to be sold in plazas have become Presidents of countries, and the UP Student Council President is a transsexual,” he emphasized. Stacking dissimilar milestones in maudlin fashion doesn't make a wrong point right! He espouses on equality and gets an off tangent notion that transsexuals should be conveniently equal, thus similar, to women? Gender classifications and sexual orientations have acquired a new age criteria, and these have become acceptable. There are men, there are women and there are homosexuals.

ALLOWING WOMEN IN MR. UNIVERSE?

But to say that men who have had gender re-assignments by way of an invasive procedure essentially become 100% females – thus should be eligible for a contest like Miss Universe – is just plain ludicrous. There are contests for men. Should we allow women then in Mr. Universe contests for the sake of equality? There are contests for gays. What should stop women from entering them if gays were allowed in women-only pageants? Proper things in proper places.

PAGING ABS CBN

It is an affront to the real females who possess a different internal make up: women have uterus, a pair of Fallopian tubes and ovaries, a cervix and a real vagina. Mr. Abunda wants to fit an oblong in square pegs. He lectures on national TV that squares and triangles and oblongs should be equal when, clearly, there's a reason why shapes are different from each other. The nerve, really. While I welcome liberal ideologies, ridiculous, albeit absurd liberties such as his should be declared as such. He postures as if he’s the only cognitive being when clearly, his motives are skewed. Why does ABS CBN allow this abominable practice? It was annoying!

How abominable? Try watching Wenn Deramas’ “Moron 5 and the Crying Lady”. That is how!

Posturing as LGBT's intellectual voice - a LADLAD representative in the future? Boy Abunda is so smart he lectures on national TV about gender reassignments and sexual orientation. You see, he's the only enlightened one.


Canadian Jenna Talackova, a 23 year old transexual who had her gender reassignment surgery at the age of 19 - wants to be part of Miss Universe pageant.

Temptation Island - Sweetest Temptations in Camp Classic

Beauty contests draw women from all walks of life, each one driven by a variety of motivations – fame, fortune and the quest for what would seem like a more tangible form of self worth and independence. When Manila Sunshine Pageant makes its call to public, a bevy of interesting girls come flooding by.

Among these colorful characters: Pura K (Solenn Heusaff), a desperate beauty whose once rich family is now struggling for their old glory; Virginia P (Heart Evangelista), a haughty kolehiyala who's grappling for personal liberties (she's the unica hija in a male-dominated family); Serafina (Lovi Poe), the annoyingly catty front runner; Cristina G (Marian Rivera), the schemy hooker who's in it for the top plum - house and lot. Each one has specific reasons for their participation.

A pre-finals yacht adventure takes the ladies to the Caticlan seas. Tagging along for the ride are Tonio (Dennis Trillo), Cristina G's hustling squeeze; Joshua (John Lapus), the pageant impresario along with his boytoy and photographer Ricardo (Mikael Daez); college student Alfredo (Aljur Abrenica), who's infatuated with Virginia P, and Nimfa (Rufa Mae Quinto), Serafina's much abused alalay. As fate would have it, the ship caught fire and the aforementioned characters find themselves marooned on a desert island. With no supplies for shelter nor food for sustenance.

What follows are the hilarious squabbles, feckless and inconsequential, but undeniably fun!

Somewhere along their discord blooms romance, friendship, and jealousy. And desperate trappings to survive take them into situations that are frolicky and hilarious.

Heart Evangelista: lovely but inconsistent!

This cinematic update of the Joey Gosiengfiao 80's camp classic renames most of its characters to pay homage to Gosiengfiao who was regarded as one of Regal Films' "bold directors". To be perfectly honest about it, I only saw the original "Temptation Island" early this year (Thanks, Kyle!), but I have never had so much fun watching an old Tagalog flick with faded color schemes. It has, in fact, become a personal favorite. And one of the pleasures of watching it was predicting which new set of actors would eventually land the characters. I got the line-up 100% right, although I didn't know Dennis Trillo would be in it! Trillo would take the role of Tonio (originally played by a mestizo actor named Tonio Gutierrez), Christina G's boytoy.

In this film, the main characters were renamed into the vamps that personified Gosiengfiao's cinematic muses, mostly Alma Moreno starrers. Virginia P. was a titular character that starred Alma Moreno, Richard Gomez and Alice Dixson (Jonas Sebastian, who played the original Joshua, wrote the script for this 1989 flick). Cristina G was from "Diary of Cristina Gaston" (1982) that also starred Moreno, Alfie Anido and Jimi Melendez. Serafina was from "Nights of Serafina" shown during the "ST phase" of Philippine cinema in 1996, topbilled by an actress I barely remember, Georgia Ortega - with her consorts Mike Magat and John Apacible. Nympha was from "Nympha", another "bold flick" in 1980 that starred Moreno, Ricky Belmonte, Orestes Ojeda and Alfie Anido. It's actually Pura K (Kikinang) that I can't quite place. This character portrayed by Solenn Heusaff (in this new version) and Bambi Arambulo (in the original) could be one of Alma Moreno's characters too. This move is particularly amusing as it pays homage to Gosiengfiao who loved his women donning Regal's "wet white magic kamison" and his men in the skimpiest bikini briefs.

Lovi Poe: incandescent performance!

Heart Evangelista takes on Dina Bonnevie's kolehiyala role (a character originally named "Dina" but has since been changed to Virginia P.) Though we initially thought Heart would be perfect for the role, she hardly passed muster. Her performance brought a character that was largely inconsequential and inconsistent, vacillating between a snooty college brat and an equally infatuated girl to Alfredo's (Aljur Abrenica, who plays a the college jock) romantic pursuits. Evangelista's performance is a curiosity. We couldn't picture another actress for the same role yet she twiddles between tentatively annoying and downright forgettable. It could have been a perfect fit. What gives?

It couldn't be blamed entirely on her sparkless chemistry with Abrenica playing Alfredo, a role originally played with suave confidence by the English-proficient Alfie Anido; something that Abrenica is too far removed. Abrenica's deliveries were perfunctory and at times painful... like playing a pre-recorded dull declamatory line, robotic and wooden, taking Machete back to the fore. For this folly, the usually insightful director Chris Martinez could have tweaked the script a bit by allowing Abrenica to speak in the vernacular. Pag di kaya ang Ingles, Tagalugin! This will solve the linguistic hurdle. Unfortunately, even Abrenica's Tagalog lines were stiff and amateurish. How long has he been in the business? One year?

For all of Abrenica's physical splendor, he is hopelessly hammy, which is sad considering the fact that he is being groomed by his mother studio as a top-tier leading dramatic actor. What is with GMA's lead actors? Richard Gutierrez, Aljur Abrenica, now (from all indications) Mikael Daez? There is a consistently common denominator: beautiful, but bland!

Marian Rivera, as Cristina G, hams it up. Her zealous demeanor could have taken her character to town. Even her English affectations were in perfect sync with Azenith Briones' original performance. They play an ambitious escort girl who dreams of conquering her poverty-stricken existence. Unfortunately, her Cristina G fails to stay afloat. She may have been Marimar, Darna, Dyesebel and Amaya, but her over eager depiction of Cristina G sinks into the realm of caricature.

The lovely Marian is paired off with the ruggedly handsome Tom Rodriquez who takes on Domingo Sabado's role as the cruise ship waiter Umberto.

Solenn Heusaff wrestles with her Tagalog, but her character is well placed. Pura K grew up from an old rich family; she's well schooled and connected. But her family fortune is fast dwindling. This contest, her 4th, would hopefully take her back to her rightful social status. However, at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think of the adorable Carla Abellana and what she could have done with the role. If you've seen her last year in "Shake, Rattle and Roll - Punerarya" (also produced by Regal Films), you would know what we're talking about.

Solenn is paired with the very green Mikael Daez as Ricardo, the kept boy (originally played by Ricky Belmonte). But Daez was unexpectedly droll. There was hardly a hint of romantic spark between the two. What's worse, Mikael doesn't register as well as he did in his Jollibee commercial or his boobtube personas for that matter. To be fair, this is his first film - shot just a few months into his entry in the business. To my mind, he could have done better with Alfredo's role - the cono jock who's smart and dependable. Aljur could have essayed the perfect callboy Ricardo. I am nevertheless looking forward to his next projects. Despite this debacle, Daez seems like a promising personality.

Alfie Anido: sorely missed!

John Lapus can't hold a candle to Jonas Sebastian's Joshua, the pageant impresario with a kept boy, who later becomes errr... "food"? Joshua is a pivotal role, taking the film's campiness to theatrical frolic. In fact, he bears a number of iconic lines, including references to the movie's title:

"How can you resist all the temptations in this island?"

"It's a sabotage, an accident, a twist of fate."

"There ought to be a law against social climbers. They ought to be executed."

"This is like Cairo, a perfect spot for a camel ride."

Lapus doesn't have the verbal cadence and vocal flourish of Sebastian, though on the whole, Lapus is a serviceable Joshua.

Aljur Abrenica takes his Machete role to heart: wooden!

Rufa Mae Quinto updates the maid's role Nympha (played originally by Deborah Sun) and owns it like it was written for her. She's always had this sardonic take on pedestrian lines, her impeccable wit at delivery is just pure joy. She simply cracks me up. There were a few scenes that showcased her comedic talent: when she was making a bench out of the dunes; her "dance of the seven veils" that ushered the scene where everyone else falls into the lure of the island; her blind servitude to her mean employer, etc.

Mikael Daez plays kept boy-photographer Ricardo.

But among the bevy of beauties on display, it is Lovi Poe who shines the brightest! She's perfectly attuned to her character - catty, ambitious, maid-toting Serafina, played in the original by Jennifer Cortez. When she flips her hair and waves a stick against her enemies, she embodies this snooty girl who looks down on everyone. She's this seductress; the vamp from hell, and obviously, Panday's sophisticated daughter. What a joy to watch!

Much of the script has been kept intact, even the treatment of scenes has been carefully studied to remain faithful to the original. Sure, cyber technology has been adequately placed, but not much else. Martinez also did away with the protracted and useless contestants' speeches that characterized the concluding portion of the original. And this time, Cristina G chooses the right man for her.

Are we in favor of the idea of remaking and updating "Temptation Island"? Absolutely! A whole new generation is not familiar with the original. There are people who wouldn't take the time to watch a grainy, almost black-and-white 1980's film. Some stories deserve to be told - again! Though this work isn't as fun as its predecessor, Martinez rides his humble boat by carefully tweaking its story line into something as close to the original - in all its campy and artistic sensibilities. It's a tough act to follow. But this is Chris Martinez, one of the most brilliant directors of his generation.

Tom Rodriguez plays the waiter Umberto.

Alfie Anido was the original Aldredo, played in the current version by Aljur Abrenica.