One Two Three Punch from Joel Lamangan

I'll be damned.

After not having posted any blogs here, Joel Lamangan would seem to dominate my pages. First off, there was the passable "When I Met You". Then there's the interesting indie, "Fuschia" which had a compelling narrative but tepid film-making, as well as disappointing bordeline performances from some of the industry's otherwise reliable veterans - Gloria Romero, Robert Arevalo and Eddie Garcia.

The movie itself could probably be divided in three parts - the light comic chapter, the dramatic segment peppered with sob stories, then the concluding action thriller-cum-pseudopolitical commentary, complete with guns and goons that's always seen in 98% of Joel Lamangan movies. As always, there are gun-toting matons riding a jeep, harassing people, kidnapping or mugging a character or two. This ouvre is also a glaring example of the limitations that even veteran performers like the aforementioned stars suffer in the hands of a mediocre script. Arevalo's supposed funny verbal tirades against Eddie Garcia kept falling flat. But it is heartening to see Ms. Romero churn out a charming, albeit spunky performance. She would have made Anita Linda's award-winning "Adora" a lot more engaging since we feel that most of the acclaim in the latter has been overrated. Bad bad me for bad mouthing veterans? Nah, just saying as I see it.

The third Lamangan feature is the homo-fantasy "Heavenly Touch" that's currently cashing in at the Galleria's Cinema 9. Rodel (Paolo Serrano) and Jonard (newcomer Joash Balejado) are disparate souls working together at a massage parlor. Errr, haven't we heard of this story before? Oh yes, we have - many many times before - and in better made films. Without batting an eyelash, we'd figure out that they earn a living by providing heavenly touch to tired bodies. Soon thereafter, they fall for each other - and get themselves into big trouble.

In Lamangan's oft-repeated cinematic imaginings, this is where we see bad politicos and corrupt police men who possess hordes of big burly men carrying guns, swatting poor denizens in their way. You guessed it too? Brilliant. Then you can predict the outcome of this story. These same burly contravidas were seemingly transplanted straight from "Fuschia" and even Lamangan's "Walang Kawala (No Way Out)" with Joseph Bitangcol and Polo Ravales. Only, this familiar reincarnation of metropolitan squalor has 3, no, 4 full frontal male genitalia swinging all over the celluloid canvas in wild abandon. Akala ko, anatomy class. Hahahaha.

Marco Morales, who always enjoys an enviable screen presence in floozy and run-of-the-mill "indies" shares his dickie wangwang along with Joash Balejado and a couple more extras where they are seen coming out of showers or getting out of a massage room. Alleluiah! Let the scrotal worshippers come rushing to the cinema. LOL. I wonder Marco Morales he keeps flashing the family jewels even in films where he is a virtual extra. His "Butas" seems to have made a lot of moolah thus he really deserves more lead roles, even in exploitation flicks like Heavenly Touch.

How are the performances? Balejado has the presence of former studs like Daniel Fernando, Julio Diaz, et. al. but he badly needs to learn the craft, and I guess it's not a very acceptable excuse that this is his first starrer. After all, there are intensive acting classes all over. On the other hand, Paolo Serrano comes off a natural - strong presence and movie star persona. There are no awkward moments even in ridiculous scenes where he's supposed to prey after Balejado. Baket? Serrano successfully breaks out from his usual male erotic features. Others in the cast suffer the fate of one-note characters: Irma Adlawan (who i thought has totally shed off her theatrical bad habits in several indie features - "Sa North Diversion Road", "Mga Pusang Gala", "ICU Bed 7", "Still Life") revisits these annoying habits ("Mga Munting Tinig", "Tukso", "Dose").

Lamangan is having a blast. But his "Huling Birhen sa Lupa" days are too far behind him, which is too bad. Then the Metro Manila Film Festival is just around the corner. Oh gawd!