G.A. Villafuerte's Pilyo - Of Unflattering Appendages and Perfect Roles

Cocoy (Ace Toledo) leaves the province to stay with the De Guias for a month. What welcomes him is a household wrapped in its own troubles. Dominic (JM Martinez) and his wife Lena (Renee Gozon) are preoccupied with problems at work. Zero (JM Christophers), Dominic’s brother, is in a turbulent relationship with his perfidious lover Terrence (Kael Reyes). Meanwhile, Cherry (Kin Chai), Zero’s friend, just broke up with Nathan (Roldan Torres), Dominic’s officemate.

Trust the young Cocoy to comfortably insinuate himself in their domestic strife. He nurses Cherry’s broken heart and secretly accommodates Terrence’s sexual advances. Moreover, in his drunken stupor, he imposes himself to Zero who’s all too willing to share his errr… shortcomings. Oh how they merrily roll along.

One day, Zero and Cherry catch Terrence manhandling Cocoy’s ultra delectable joystick, and all hell break loose. What becomes of our naughty protagonist?

Like most G.A. Villafuerte  movies, the protagonist carries a polysemous sexuality, as ambiguous as the situations that Villafuerte concocts for his trivial plots. 

In the past, some of his characters – a gardener, plumber, student, call center agent, teacher , etc.– enjoy sexual dalliance with the opposite sex then just as easily shift their preference with the blink of an eye. No side stories. There is, in fact, no real sense of truth where sexuality is concerned; just caricatures from the writer’s excruciatingly limited insight on storytelling.

While it is true that the new millennium has ushered an age of sexual liberation, most individuals have well defined sexual preference or gender identification. In "Pilyo", our protagonist Cocoy shows no sign of "gayness" - not in any manner or persuasion, thus when he hooks up with Cherry, there were no surprises. But when he suddenly locked lips with Terrence without a hint of tension, you knew you were dealing with a fantastical flight of fancy. In fact, he even set Zero up to have sex with him. This was how Villafuerte interprets "pilyo" - and "naughty" suddenly meant "sexual ambiguity". To Villafuerte's mind, the earth-shaking dilemma is, and I quote, "Maaamin na ba niyang siya ay pilyo?" Have you ever heard of a more insipid predicament? To stretch his emaciated plot, he peppers his scenes with an array of shower scenes: 3 (or 4) in this movie, including one that has scarred me for life.

Renee Gozon and JM Martinez play Mr. & Mrs. De Guia - and nothing much really.

SCARRED FOR LIFE

The scene in question: Frustrated Cherry drowns out her sorrow by showering it off. She grimaces and sobs as though this was her ticket to the next Urian derby, while she soaps her naked body. What we witnessed before us was the ugliest whimpering we've ever seen in Philippine Cinema coupled with several seconds of the smallest mounds of female breasts to have graced the silver screen. I thought we were traipsing on pedophilous territory. Heck, Ace Toledo has bigger man-boobs. The point being: if one has to showcase a physical appendage for a perving audience, there’d be more positive feedback if you showed something that has “fully grown”. Same point in a shower scene involving JM Christophers (playing Zero) who bravely faced the camera for a split second to display what could be a misplaced “thumb”? If you can’t get a legible story on screen, then a director might as well highlight the flattering “tidbits” of his stars, right? 

Now why are we discussing appendages? Simple. There’s nothing meritorious about the story, the performances or the film making prowess. The scenes are carelessly shot, you’d hear dogs barking loudly during confrontations. How about a camera that suddenly tilts? Or goes out of frame? In a make-out scene involving Cocoy and Zero, you’d suddenly catch someone remove a stool at the foot of the bed while the couple lip lock. These are easily remediable matters if the director really cared about his end product.

PERFECT ROLE

Another scene has a very stiff Francis Cariaso, a make-up artist who constantly moonlights as an actor in Villafuerte flicks. He even played the stiffest ghost we've seen in Villafuerte's "Ghost Lover". In "Pilyo", Cariaso plays a punctilious office boss who does nothing but shout. Trouble is, Cariaso cannot act if his life depended on it. He is so stony, mechanical, impliable and awkward that it’s palpably painful to look at him. I had bruxism watching Cariaso. If he stayed longer than his given screen time, he’d disintegrate into pieces. Now why would any director want a ham portray any character in his films?

I know a role perfect for Cariaso – as bit player (think Vilma Santos in “Ekstra”) for a story that requires bodies placed inside coffins. He would be perfect for it. He’d make the perfect rigor mortis!      

Zero (JM Christophers) and lover Terrence (Kael Reyes)

JM Christophers does his GA Villafuerte rite of passage - the "shower scene"! ;)

Kin Chai going for Famas gold!

Ace Toledo in his first title role.

G.A. Villafuerte's Ghost Lover - Horrific Spareness of Acumen

It’s been awhile since I last wrote about a Pink Film, but people just obviously love my rants about this genre that despite paucity of blog entries in Blush, this site still averages 250 to 400 page views a day! How's that for an inactive blogsite? Before I serve the annual “Best and Worst of 2013”, here’s my “gift” to the pink lovers. 

Film year 2014 has officially started with the release of G.A. Villafuerte’s “Ghost Lover”, before it shifts into high gear next week with Robin Padilla’s “Sa Ngalan ng Ama, ng Ina at Mga Anak”, Benito Bautista’s “Mumbai Love”, and Mae Czarina Cruz’s “Bride for Rent”.

CAPSULE

When Josh (Alvin Duckert), a violinist, and his girlfriend Dianne (Renee Gozon) moved to a recently departed aunt’s old house, they didn't realize they were sharing it with its restless, albeit phantasmal inhabitants. Doors shut at will; persistent knocks are heard in the wee hours; and the weirdest thing: Mobile phones lose signal. Eh? “Di ko siya ma-contact. Ang weird,” remarked Josh who must have never heard of poor signal from Globe and Smart telecom. To keep it interesting, Josh’s cousin and friends join the fray for a rather dubious excuse of a holiday. The young couple hasn't quite settled down, yet they already have guests. How fun.

FAMILIAR TERRITORY

Director G.A. Villafuerte once again dabbles awkwardly into familiar territory (“Lihim ng mga Nympha”, “Bahid”) but like previous efforts, the end product is nothing short of elementary. The sound is uneven; most conversations are unintelligible, scenes are underlit and cinematography is typically Villafuerte’ish, i.e. appalling. You get the nagging suspicion that his scenes were shot using a cellphone camera. This director likewise boasts of having done 15 flicks in film year 2013. Not even box-office director Wenn Deramas can duplicate that feat, having only released 4 movies last year. Unfortunately, Villafuerte’s acumen remains spare of any proof of film making adeptness or writing prolificity.

It’s been 3 years since Villafuerte’s directorial debut but he never acquired mastery of the medium, except for his propensity to finish principal photography in 24 hours. Imagine a gag-inducing flick like “My Little Bossings” shooting for, say two months. For that duration, Villafuerte is capable of churning out 60 flicks ready for exhibition in dingy, sperm-coated, third-rate movie houses. Such source of inspiration, debah?

Alvin Duckert, Renee Gozon and RJ Saycon

Alvin Duckert, also seen in Villafuerte’s “Bagong Paligo” last year, returns to display his bratwurst in two shower scenes. After all, what’s a Villafuerte flick without his male leads tintinnabulating their bells in sheer wetness? This sublime scene was punctuated by Alvin’s use of a foamy shampoo as he lathers his derriere with raw determination. In another scene, a spirit (of a jealous girl) possesses Josh – which conveniently sets the stage for a man-on-man action between Duckert and newcomer RJ Saycon who plays Xander, Josh's childhood friend. In another scene, Ace Toledo’s character Luke couldn't contain his urges so he plays with himself while two of his friends (one of them female) sleep closely beside him. Couldn't he even rush to the bathroom for an accomplished and satisfying, errr… manhandling?

But let’s attribute all these inanities to the director’s myopic vision and extremely limited imagination. Case in point: In his epilogue, the last scene has our characters driving away from the house. Just when we thought they've rid themselves of those pesky ghosts, Josh suddenly kisses Xander, imputing Josh’s possession. Hasn't this been done before in Villafuerte’s “Lihim ng mga Nympha” where the main protagonist is suggested to still be under the influence of a nymph? And wasn't that portrayed also by Alvin Duckert who has since taken 3 dozen energetic showers in various Villafuerte flicks? And wasn't “Lihim ng mga Nympha” a shameless, unattributed remake of a better film? Barely three years into his craft and he's already repeating himself. 

Someone’s artistic aptitude (if you call it that) is in desperate need of inspiration and is dwindling fast – and it’s just January! Tsk tsk tsk.