The Cabin in the Woods - Revisionist Slasher

Life is a reality TV show. Or is it?

Five friends travel to a remote cabin in the woods for some fun and relaxation. There's Dana (Kristen Connolly), the virgin; Curt (Chris Helmsworth), the jock, and his frisky cheerleader girlfriend Jules (Anna Hutchison); Holden (Jesse Williams), the brains; and Marty (Fran Kranz), the stoner. As they get closer to their destination - a cabin owned by Curt's cousin - they encounter an eccentric gas man who warns them that it's an easier predicament to get there than getting out. When they eventually find the ramshackle cabin, they find odd stuff and the diary of a young disturbed girl who wrote about gore, pain and blood curdling acts that they eventually brush off. Unknown to them, in a seemingly surrogate world, a team of workers in white lab gowns celebrate the beginning of a "project". In fact, they toast and make merry. On their screens are images that bear semblance to the five young people who have chosen their fate. The people in white robes clap. Things unravel as planned. Meanwhile, in Dana and her friends' world, little did they realize that the undead have risen from the grave and are heading their way. Will our five protagonists survive or perish?

In what could be one of modern cinema's most brilliant parodies of the horror genre and a resplendent tweaking of Wes Craven's textbook criteria of a slasher flick, Drew Goddard's "The Cabin in the Woods" takes the genre to greater heights, then swerve the narrative into detours so unpredictable, the viewers are left with gaping mouths and stoked senses.

SPOILERS!

When Marty finds a hidden camera while trying to evade from the clutches of death, he briskly concludes that they have become unwilling participants of a reality television show. But nothing could be farther from the truth. They have, in fact become pawns in a life-and-death scenario that shall purportedly save the Earth from total annihilation; i.e. forces beyond humanity's capabilities. They have become convenient sacrifices. And every monster that surrounds the psyche of every culture are caged in special cages: the ferocious beasts, zombies, vampires and wolves, goblins, savage clowns, babydoll faces, Hell Lord (from "Hell Raiser"), flesh-eating dinosaurs, "angry molesting tree" (from "The Evil Dead"), even those ashen-faced Japanese white ladies (from Nakata's "The Ring"). Monsters from the imagination of H.P. Lovecraft have supposedly been referenced as well. Each of them is released to wreck havoc and impart suffering to a chosen slice of humanity. And everything that enraptures human suffering is caused by the collusion of a few individuals who help the aforementioned individuals "choose" how they die. Like the spraying of a pheromone to hasten a scene between the hot blond cheerleader and her beau. After all, what's a slasher flick without "boobies", right?

The film also suggests that there are ways of circumventing these extirpating forces as demonstrated in scenes involving the Japanese school children fervently chanting their incantations to a Sadako-type ghoul as it floats on mid-air. There are, after all, ways of conquering the seeming unconquerable. However, Dana and her friends unwittingly find the portal that directly lead them to the "manipulators" and the cells that contain humanity's "monsters".

Joss Whedon (director of "The Avengers", "Thor", "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Serenity") co-wrote a winking script with first time director Drew Goddard (he wrote "Cloverfield").

The conceit of having a group of sentient people who can manipulate situations so as to exact murder and mayhem, if a tad familiar, reminds one of the all-seeing voyeuristic crowd in "Hunger Games". When the surviving protagonists eventually escape the woods and find themselves in special cages (where they also meet Sigourney Weaver), we were stumped with exquisite surprise, albeit bewilderment! Nothing about the movie is what it seems. That's all for the better!

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"Am I in a relaity TV?" asks Marty.

Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and company head the team of manipulators.

Kristen Connolly as Dana

Chris Helmsworth as Curt

Chris Hemsworth

Jesse Williams as Holden

Anna Hutchison

Anna Hutchison as Jules

Fran Kranz as Marty

My Soul To Take - Wes Craven Disappoints in New Suspense Yarn

The moment I saw Max Thieriot cast as a high school outcast, I knew Wes Craven's "My Soul to Take" is in trouble. How can anyone believe Thieriot is a social outcast when every time he sashayed across school halls, it looked like he was blazing the catwalk?

Wes Craven's return to the big screen is well anticipated. After all, he is the "Nightmare on Elm Street" guru who has teffified millions with his frightful franchise. But his latest work is surprisingly uninspired and derivative.

Capsule

In the town of Riverton, an urban legend tells of a serial killer called "The Ripper" who left a curse on the seven children born the night he died. Sixteen years later, the aforementioned kids are dropping like flies. (And as predicted, it's the Asian who's the most disposable! He gets killed first.) Has the killer been resurrected? Or is he among the 7 teenagers born 16 years ago?

Adam "Bug" Heller (Max Thieriot) is the school weirdo. He'd lapse into narcolepsy, waking up to images of people dying. His sister is the queen of mean, and the girl he's attracted to doesn't seem to know he's alive. One night, several more bodies fall - and he has to stand up for himself to survive. Now here's the million dollar question: How can he defend himself against a serial killer when he couldn't even parry the blows from his romantic rival, and worse - he's easily beaten to a pulp by his sister! What a dweeb!

When your movie hero is as weak as Bug, where do you turn for inspiration?

"My Soul to Take" fails to up the ante in terms of inventiveness, adrenaline rush or cinematic carnage. If you're into gore, look elsewhere! Inside the movie theater, I was actually tempted to learn new techniques on macrame while waiting for the eventual victory of our protagonist. Ho-hum!

Max Thieriot as the gorgeous 5'11' outcast! His surname is pronounced "Tey-rio". He will be seen next in another suspense-thriller, "House at the End of the Street" with Jennifer Lawrence and Elisabeth Shue.

An animal lover, Max owns 19 pets. He also hates dining alone in public: "I don't like going to dinner by myself, I'll call for delivery before I do that. It's awkward if you're at a table all alone. I'm sure nobody even notices, but there's something about it."