The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

There is no one like director Terry Gilliam. He lives in a dark brooding world of fantasy, and he takes these seemingly mundane fairy tale characters then demystify them into beings that populate a complex world! This is the modern world of Dr. Parnassus – the head of a travelling theatre, plying their trade in the backways of grimy London.

In the confines of their gypsy-cart lies the fantastical “Imaginarium” – a mystifying world where your fondest fantasies come alive! But the 1,000 years old “doctor” (the brilliant Christopher Plummer) is disgruntled and regretful of his bet with the devil. In exchange for his “mortality”, he trades his very own daughter Valentina (Lily Cole) when she turns 16. But the restless devil offers another bet – give him 5 souls before Valentina’s birthday and he will grant her freedom.

Meanwhile, the traveling troupe rescues a dying man, hanging on a bridge. He turns out to be a charity-maker, Tony (Heath Ledger). Is he sent by the heavens as an answer to the bind they’re facing?

Heath Ledger is memorable as Tony – a man with a sketchy past. When he walks inside the “imaginarium”, he transforms into different personas – Colin Farrell, Jude Law and Johnny Depp! These change of physical attributes is the perfect metaphor for the multilayered character that underlies the mysterious Tony! Plummer, Farrell, Law, Depp, Cole, Verne Troyer (the midget Percy) turn out to be a powerful ensemble. I would have to mention Andrew Garfield – Anton (who’s in love with Valentina) – as the one to watch! I’ve seen him in “Silence for Lambs” (Robert Redford) and the British indie “Boy A”.

Enjoy the ride inside the Imaginarium!

Children and internal organs don't mix!

"I used to be a twink too," quips Johnny Depp.

"I don't brood," says Jude law.

Promising Andrew Garfield joins a stellar cast. He won the role over hundreds.

Andrew Garfield in "Boy A".

Sagrada Pamilya - Intense and Affecting

When Merle (Snooky Serna) trades her nursing cap for a caregiving job in Italy, she leaves her husband Johnny (Emilio Garcia) and daughter Kat (Lovi Poe) under the watchful care of her mother-in-law Carmen (Gloria Diaz). Little did she realize that her ambitions would soon turn into a Greek tragedy of betrayal. Upon her return, she finds their home abandoned. She eventually catches up with her runaway family, only to find Kat pregnant. What will a mother do? And who is the father?

Lovi Poe returns to the screen after her stirring performance in "Walang Hanggang Paalam" with another tour de force performance as the abused Kat who's torn between keeping her family intact and breaking out from the clutches of domestic abuse. Emilio Garcia as father Johnny, Gloria Diaz as Manang Carmen, Snooky Serna as mother Merle and Felix Roco as the boyfriend make up a powerful cast that simmers with pathos and a riveting experience at the cinema. Joel Lamangan directs. "Sagrada Pamilya" is a must-watch!

Chub Chaser - Of Masked Penises and the Art of Not Puking

In "Chub Chaser", Chubi (Joseff Young) is a desperate soul seeking companionship from the cyberworld. Unfortunately, his girth becomes a disadvantage to his carnal shenanigans. An appendectomy 2 years prior left him pudgy, sluggish and unsure of himself. And it doesn't help that his fit roomates keep undressing all over the place!

When you watch a Crisaldo Pablo film, you forego certain liberties and accept some realities: that, 1) you aren't watching a work of art; 2) his movies are always peppered with sexy male bodies that are inadvertently diluted with some of the ugliest support characters this side of tinseltown; 3) that it isn't dejavu, yes, you've heard that music - and that music, and THAT music as well; he compiles a soundtrack of favorite tracks that you repeatedly hear in "Chuba Chaser" and his other masterpieces like "Campus Crush", "Boylets," etc. 4) that the boom of digital film making in the country has resulted into a wide range of cutting edge storytelling ("Mangatyanan", "Yanggaw", "Kinatay", "Dinig Sana Kita", etc.) as well as really really bad filmmaking (well, most of the films by Neil Tan, Joven Tan and Crisaldo Pablo).

Chub Chaser is another obtuse outing from Pablo. This time around, he takes 3 other persons with him to co-direct this amateurish fantasy of homo-erotica. We cringed everytime we saw Archie de Calma on screen. His presence baffled us. Watching him on screen was as excruciating as root canal, I had the visceral sensation of wanting to throw up or pass out! His screen presence proved too unhealthy for us. Mr. Pablo has this penchant to utilize repelling characters ("Showboyz") to support his protagonists. This doesn't sit well when you're actually marketing an erotica. You simply don't want your audience gagging instead of getting their hormones charged up while watching the film!

And since Mr. Pablo seems to be churning out one mediocre film after the next (he fields a film every 2-3 weeks or so), he might as well keep Chamyto Aguedan in all his works. Aguedan (who was in "Campus Crush") is a natural comic who makes Pablo's awkward, borderline, under-rehearsed scenes tolerable.

Do you see male genitalia in "Chub Chaser"? Unfortunately, these scenes have all been masked on screen, probably as a result of the X-rating that it originally got from the MTRCB (it was supposed to be screened last December prior to the MMFF). Lahat po ng talong, nakatakip - all you get is a rancid omelet. ;->

Jeff Luna flexes for chubs.

At the next Pablo film, Luna gets a blow ____ errr... close up!

Note:

Please read our featured post on Cinema Bravo and why Web Criticism sometimes makes us nginig:
- http://makemeblush2.blogspot.com/2016/10/cinema-bravo-film-criticisms-execrable.html

The Spy Next Bore

Larry waits for his sushi.

In "The Spy Next Door", nerdy and wrinkly Bo (Jacky Chan) needs the children's approval to marry his hot gf (Amber Valletta), but nothing he does seems to work. And by the way, Bo is a secret CIA agent. We were supposed to be impressed, but I had a brain lag! It dawned on me that I had been yawning throughout its first hour. My brain is filing grievances! I have seen this trite story several times before. Then just when I was about to start dozing off, the last 30 minutes perked up. As expected.

Gorgeous boy Lucas Till ("Hannah Montana") cameos as a baddie - a young Russian agent tasked to outwit and capture Bo and the kids! It seems surreal though to watch Lucas fight the Jacky Chan. Just wasn't right!

And dear dear Jacky starts to painfully sag all over!

Lucas Till offers a smile!

An angel sleeps - and morphs into a Russian spy!

Daybreakers - Blood Curdling Entertainment

2019. Ten years after an epidemic that turned men into vampires. Humanity as we know it is at the brink of extinction. Vampires rule the dominant world, and "man" is being hunted and farmed for their blood. But the numbers are dwindling - fast! Ed Dalton (Ethan Hawke) is out of his wits finding blood substitutes, but nothing seems to work. Starvation has crept all over turning vampires into fiercer creatures - winged monsters!

On the whole, the movie looks good; and we were compelled to sit back and watch with bated breath! This is fun time at the movies!

Hawke is ably supported by other actors: the always reliable Sam Neill and Willem Dafoe, and new Ausie (he's actually a Kiwi) find named Michael Dorman (whose claim to fame is the horror movie, "Acolytes" - watch out for him!). This is directed by the Spierig brothers - Michael and Peter!

Can't wait to watch it again!

Famished and undernourished vampires turn into this!

"Bite me gently," implores Ethan.

Michael Dorman (above and below) - the newbie to watch. He is making waves in Australian films, but he hails from New Zealand! I was raking my brains where I first saw him. Then I remembered - the tense youth drama called "West" (above).

He was in "Suburban Mayhem" which has a cult following!

With a cute director times two, who needs food?

Puntod - Chronicles of Agony

Cesar Apolinario's "Puntod"is 2010's very first Filipino movie offering! Having mentioned that, we expected a lot from this digital film. But whatever promise it has is foreshadowed by its English title - "Baby's Tomb" - which spells grief, grief and more grief! From the get-go, we had an inkling of how the story would end. The main character is a lachrymous mute named Baby (the pretty Barbie Forteza), who scavenges for scraps and left-overs to earn money.

Baby should eventually die. Otherwise, she wouldn't possess a tomb of her own, right? Right!

Spoilers!

But the narrative that leads to her demise is a convoluted headache of a story rife with heartaches (her mother was run over by a jeep; her father is blind; her well-meaning friend/teacher gets raped; her close friend gets shot) and abuses (her older sister is a bitch of a witch who shrieks to high heavens from dawn til sundown). Then from out of the blue, an awkwardly sequenced anti-climactic shootout ensues that came out of nowhere! But wait! It didn't end there. It couldn't - since Baby was still walking, and don't we expect her lying in a coffin - stiff and cold? Well, that eventually happened! Thank heavens.

Forteza is appealing, but she is mostly misdirected. Her scenes are a continuous montage of annoying cries and sobs and wails. I barely succeeded hanging on and staying put, and finishing the film that felt 3 hours long! No, sir, it's just 1 hour and 10 minutes or so, but it felt like a bundle of sacrifice. On the plus side: Mark Gil's Mang Delfin is engaging; and there's a crisp and luminous cinematography!

But the performance of note was turned in by Sheree. She was shrill and an annoying cardboard-cutout! I wanted her ejected out of "Puntod." She should star in another movie all her own - a movie that I won't be too lucky to pay P160 for! (Nilagnat po kasi ako eh!)

The Chipmunks Get a New Dad

I was scratching my head and pinching myself while watching "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel". I realized from the very start, one had to suspend disbelief that in the movie, people talk to animated rodents, but it was a tall order to swallow most of the muck that pervaded in this movie. A chipmunk turning into a high school football star? Gimme a break! To say that the plot is ridiculous, is probably moot and academic. After all, this squeakquell is turning into a real blockbuster, proudly slugging it out with the likes of "Avatar" and "Sherlock Holmes". No one questions the ka-ching of success!

In this film, the adorably pesky Alvin, Theodore and Simon acquire a new guardian, Toby (Zachary Levi) when their dad Dave (Jason Lee) break a few limbs during an eventful school production. Charice (Pempengco) does well with her "No One" cameo. Incidentally, the original soundtrack has been released - and "No One" is in the CD - labelled "sung by the Chipmunks, featuring Charice."

Not bad!

Hunky Zachary Levi. A far cry from his endearingly nerdy image in the TV series, "Chuck".

"Where do I put all my limbs," asks 6'4" Zachary Levi.