Friday, July 23, 2010

What Gives, Mr. Shyamalan? - May It Really Be The Last of the Benders

It felt like I've never been inundated with preposterous stories since, errr... Christopher Nolan's "Inception". I am not even gonna pretend that I liked "Inception". But it has been sort of a heartbreaker to watch 2 successive films from two favorite directors I was crazy with - Christopher Nolan and M. Night Shyamalan.

Just a few days ago, I had to forgo purchasing a pair of stilettos I've set my eyes on for a couple of weeks now. This turn of event is major, and my mom was smug for a couple of days thinking I'm finally over "shoes" to have to prioritize watching "The Last Airbender" over a P1,800 commodity! You see, I had to cut P250 off my budget as that's how much a 3D cinema ticket costs!

But I froze on my seat! I had to pinch myself several times before realizing it was indeed Shyamalan's work. They had to stereoscope THIS B-looking movie? My stiletto shoes had to wait for a dark, grainy, dour film that bordered on being outright silly?

You see, this film takes place in a fantasy world where people live in 4 kingdoms: Fire, Air, Water and Earth. These "tribes" have powers to "bend" - sort of manipulate these elements. It is such a wonder then that most of these populace seem like invalids, at best! And their powers are sketchy and exceedingly underused! Take for example, the earth kingdom. Why didn't I see girls wearing those divine shoes made from earth-bending machinations? I would have made 1,800 pairs on my first fortnight of acquiring such powers alone. LOL

Reality is, these decrepit tribes, despite all their powers, are too lazy to even think they could overpower those naughty, naughty fire people! Did I say "invalid" already?

As to M. Night Shyamalan, whose work has slid down hill since 2006's "Lady in the Water", he seem to have lost grip with his storytelling prowess. "The Last Airbender" is shoddy, thoughtless, unexciting filmmaking at best - with horrible photography to boot, and some of the most ridiculous posturings in cinema land! Every time Aang (the charmless Noah Ringer, who pretends to be Asian) starts waving his karate moves, stooping down like he has juvenile osteoarthritis, I just wanted to douche him with cold water! Para tumigil agad!

Is this really where new age cinema is taking us? P250 3D garbage with bad cinematography a la Pinoy indie films? Yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko! This local indie fever is infectious, even Hollywood is catching up with Pinoy mediocrity! Damn!

In a recent New York screening of Christopher Nolan's "Inception", a trailer of Shyamalan's next film, "Devil" was screened. Suddenly, several people started booing when the trailer flashed "From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" on screen. This was followed by a theater full of laughters and howls! This series of mediocrity is catching up fast, Mr. Shyamalan. Conceit is ok if you deserve an enviable reputation.

Jackson Rathbone as the other invalid (but dashing) warrior Sokka. Check out the movie if Sokka has actually done anything that helped child hero, Aang!

Gorgeous Jackson Rathbone. As Sokka, he reminds me of Orlando Blooms' Legolas ("Lord of the Rings"). He was that sumptuously evilish Jasper (who once wanted to eat Bella) in the vampire romance, "Twilight" (New Moon).

Jackson Rathbone - Yummy 5'9" cutie!

Jackson Rathbone - They never make them this gorgeous here in Manila. 26 year old Jackson's take on love and lust: "Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey...Love burns for longer and warms you up on the inside and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila just makes you wasted."

Though Dev Patel looks gorgeous in "The Last Airbender", his constant scowl does nothing to a poorly written role: Prince Zuko, who was cast away by his royal father for being, you bet, "an invalid". He is "too soft", declares Fire Lord Ozai (Cliff Curtis). Dev is currently in a relationship with his "Slumdog Millionaire" co-star Freida Pinto. Now, every idiotic movie is being shown in 3D, even the forgettable "Streetdance"!


Anonymous said...

<<<<walang hiya kah rin anuuuu...ulol

Cathy P. said...

THAT ONE up there is a brainless idiot who who doesn't even have the balls to name him/herself so I'll call him a neutered insect!

As I have told the rest of the shameless Sarah Geronimo fans, go climb a tree and acquire a brain from the monkeys! Bwahahaha!

It's so much fun seeing neuters frothing in the mouth! I am soooo amused! Bwahahaha!

Did you see Sarah's new Elais commercial? I could swear she was constipated while she was mouthing her lines! Kawawa naman. Nasobrahan ata sa pagka gahaman. What a greedy lot!