Saturday, August 7, 2010

Celso Ad. Castillo's 666 - Dimwits Making Trash

About a month ago, I chanced upon an indie film that was directed by legendary "Messiah" director Celso Ad. Castillo. What really surprised me was the obvious absence of brain activity from the people behind this film! This wasn't your run-of-the-mill mediocre digital indie, this was among the worst films of all time!

Isn't it absolutely festive then that the makers of "Fidel" can now heave a sigh of relief? After all, if it's a lonely place at the top, it could be lonelier at the bottom, couldn't it?

The film: 666 (a.k.a. "Sanib 2")

Several years after an abusive environment in the U.S., mother and daughter (Jacklyn Jose and newcomer Victoria Haynes) come home to a start a new life. But in the dark canopies of their secluded resort live itinerant souls who would soon possess teenager Donna (Haynes)! What follows is a harrowing set of scenes - for the audience!

To list down our misgivings on the film is to come up with a 5-parter in this blog, which is like saying, that it deserves to be written about - so we've decided to just zero in on the film's major drawbacks!

The sound was the work of a hearing impaired sound technician: you'd hear a badly dubbed Jacklyn Jose with the voice of an Esther Chavez; when two people are conversing, you'd hear one person speak with reverb, while the other one is almost inaudible as though she was talking from the other room! It was hilarious! I kid you not! In this age of high tech film making gimmickry, this film takes the cake for having the most ludicrous technicals in motion picture history!

When the priest finally gets to visit the possessed Donna, she would speak with 6 different voices, none of them intelligible! I would have been a little tolerant if the images were barely acceptable, but like most Pinoy indies, the images were skewed, blurred, strobey and wobbly! Then there's the musical score that had its own desideratum. It just wanted to overpower whatever gibberish crap that was happening on screen. Whoever this misguided soul was only wanted to be heard - and HEARD he was!

Victoria Haynes should in principle be shipped off to the far reaches of the earth - and that if she ever comes back, should be under house arrest for the remainder of her life!

Special Participation

There was this character who played the resort's overseer, but her whole presence provided nothing more than an acrid distraction! She was in her 50's, yet she constantly dressed in the skimpiest of garments and minis, and heels the height of the Empire State Building - as though she were to make her catwalk after scaring the monsters away! It turns out that she was the producer and co-director - Honey Blanca! And I am baffled why she felt she needed to sashay around the resort the way she did! Whoever gave her such delusion should be banished as well - along with Victoria Haynes!

Well, at least, that's one less bucket list for Ms. Blanca who should be celebrating her 60th birthday in less than a decade! Isn't it wise to spend your money on adult diapers instead?

Now why do I even bother? Because I was tricked into paying P150 for what I wouldn't even watch for free had I known! And as though that wasn't punishment enough: After running the movie ahead of schedule, they realized that they started 20 minutes too early - so they stopped the film and re-started all that crap again - prolonging our agony even more!

In a major cinema like SM Megamall Cinema 7!

The nerve of these people!


Anonymous said...

WTF? btw shes's a friend. Besides that you already know that Filipino media is BS. We have mediocre actors playing out roles that shouldnt be casted for them but are being paid so much more than our stage actors , which in my opinion do very fine. I know its crap but dont you think all our media is crap? We have half naked chicks doing a repetitive bouncing dance on lunch in our most popular stations (gma, abs). I saw the movie it was crap, ive done theater and i know the acting was even lower than mediocre in a third world country but its ok, most filipinos strive on this shit. Get real and go watch a michael bay movie with all the explosions and mind fluff without any depth when it comes to logical or anything that comes close to real life physics. Its all the same.

Cathy Pena said...

Though yours in an anonymous note, I find your thoughts interesting, even refreshing.

You do mean "thrive", and yes, I'd rather wallow in the fluff and hyperkinetic gibberish of Michael Bay than sink down to the levels of such imbecilic clutter like "666" which is really scraping the bottom. :)