Jun Lana's "Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo May Boyfriend?!" - Hope Springs Eternal

What is it about straight women and their affinity with gay men? If you think about it, the idea is counterintuitive. But there are sensible explanations. In such friendly relationships, there is no competition. They don't vie for the same "mate" so the issue of trust is embraced rather early into the relationship. From there, it is easy to cultivate cooperation and genuine kinship.

In Jun Lana's "Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo May Boyfriend?!" wedding planner Kylie (Anne Curtis) is a proverbial gay magnet - and she's indignant. She's been bamboozled many times over by handsome and seemingly masculine men who turn out to be gay. When she meets Diego, another "perfect specimen", there are red flags waving around. To make matters worse, she's helplessly attracted to the sensitive lad. Oh no! Experience has taught her a lesson or two. But is gorgeous Diego similar to her exes? There are tell-tale signs: he's a neat freak, organized; he's a gym rat with perfect masculine posturing from biceps down to the gluteus muscles. He shrieks louder while watching a scary movie. And didn't you notice that pinky jutting out when he holds a cup? What's a girl to do?

Who shouts the louder Darna?!

Kylie takes us on a roller coaster ride, intermittently breaking the fourth wall, to prove her theory. She is assisting Diego who's getting hitched in two months time with a gorgeous vixen (Yam Concepcion) who's more caught up with her blossoming career in Germany than her upcoming wedding. If her hunch is right, Benj (Paolo Ballesteros), Kylie's boss and Diego's childhood friend, will be conveniently waiting in the wings. There are too many odds to overcome for Kylie to be hopeful. But why does she get confusing signals from Diego? Is there mutual attraction between them? One drunken night, Kylie's patience runneth over.

Jun Lana's latest mainstream vehicle is immensely entertaining and surprisingly well made. The story is structured like any romcom formula, but it briskly engages its audience without too much plot contrivances. It's in fact a simple tale to tell. So we scrutinize the machinations of the director. Lana's works can be categorized into two: those masterful indies - and the middle-of-the-road mediocre mainstream flicks. The difference between the two types is conspicuous that I tend to wonder if Lana's mainstream efforts are heavily influenced, i.e. weighed down by the studio system.

Consider the following. Type 1: "Bwakaw", "Mga Kwentong Barbero", "Anino sa Likod ng Buwan", "Roxxxanne". Type 2: "The Prenup", "Yesterday Today Tomorrow", "My Neighbor's Wife". His indies will easily land in any cineaste's best list. "Bwakaw", for example, is one of my all-time favorites. However, his mainstream movies are messy and cliched (think Jose Javier Reyes) with difficulties in reconciling decent story telling and good film making. "Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo..." changes this. The movie is fun and well tempered. More importantly, the narrative flow is fueled by a coherent script and the winking humor from its delightful cast.

Though Dennis Trillo is more than proficient as the perfect male girls and gays swoon over, this cinematic vehicle belongs to Anne Curtis who moderates her performance with pedantic relish. And why not? - she's been gypped so many times, she has walked the path that others could only talk about. Curtis exudes charisma and confidence, but she cautiously calibrates this with acrid reservation. She may not declare it succinctly, but she is still hopeful for circumstances "swinging" her way. I can relate somehow. My best friend Kyle is a dreamboat. Sometimes, we already know the answer to our questions, but hope still springs eternal.

Dennis Trillo

Anne Curtis (Courtesy of Rogue Magazine)

#bakitlahatnggwapomayboyfriend  #annecurtis

Francis dela Torre's "Blood Ransom" - Lingering Melancholy

While Crystal (Anne Curtis) grieves for her parent's death, she finds solace in the dark corners of West Covina, and embraces the lure of the wandering souls who inhabit this underworld, including charismatic Roman (Caleb Hunt) who offers the gift of immortality - as a vampire! The whole process takes 7 days to complete, and within these days, she has to accept by directly feeding and killing her victims. But Crystal is a reluctant predator. Meanwhile, mysterious deaths are happening around the strip joint where Crystal works. Authorities, headed by Fil-Am cop Daniel (Darion Basco), have started their investigations.

When a group of thugs kidnap Crystal, her occasional driver Jeremiah Rose (Alexander Dreymon) comes to the rescue. Trouble is, she doesn't want to return to Roman's fold. Bill (Jamie Harris), Roman's fierce hitman, has been sent to get Crystal and exact punishment on Jeremiah. Crystal is getting weaker for refusing to "feed", but she's constantly battling her thirst for blood. And her new protector is falling fast for the beautiful monster.

Crystal's kidnapping catches the attention of Daniel whose aunt Paz (Suzette Ranillo) raised Jeremiah as a child. To make matters worse, Jeremiah's involvement takes the psychopathic Bill to Tita Paz's doorstep. Will Jeremiah rescue her adoptive mother in time? More importantly, how can they stop Crystal from completing her transformation?

Director Francis dela Torre tweaks the nature of the vampire. In his cinematic macrocosm, vampires don't perish under the sun (they just prefer the night); they're not afraid of crucifixes; and they can't be easily killed by stakes on their hearts - but by special blades on their throats. And if they drink holy water admixed with the blood of the vampire who turned them into one, this shall stop any transformation within seven days.

Despite a promising premise, the story moves with glacial pace; plodding, whispery deliveries and dawdling action. The cinematic palette is filled with clusters of idle moments. To say the least, it is sleep-inducing and requires a certain amount of patience to keep your lids from drooping.

This is a curiosity considering the possibilities of the subject matter. Blood sucking creatures usually parlay dynamism in any narrative - not this one. The atmosphere is one of lingering melancholy; one that would drive suicidal people to eventually end their misery. Gothic stories need not be lethargic in presentation, do they?

The film has unmistakable Pinoy flavor: Tita Paz would play Pilita Corrales' "Dahil Sa Yo" while cooking her delectable longganisa. Her home is a proverbial religious temple. Road signs read "Manila Way". Thugs and laboratory technicians wear their spread out ala nasi. Unfortunately, these don't help move the story. Not even when Bill starts shooting at Jeremiah and Father Mena (Jonjon Briones).

Anne Curtis makes a compelling damsel in distress, although her character feels too passive to be unforgettable. More importantly, she doesn't embarrass herself in her first foreign movie. Unfortunately, some scenes are too guileful to be believed, like when she had to lick the blood splattered on the road. Afterwards, you'd see her walk away with chin all drenched in blood. Was she too dazed to wipe herself up? She reaches a motel looking like she's feasted on roadkill. Wasn't she trying to be discreet? So much for trying not to get noticed. Alexander Dreymon ("American Horror Story", "Christopher and His Kind") has the presence of Channing Tatum. But with a temperament midway between drama and horror - not quite nailing either genre, and a narrative progression that ultimately fails to soar, "Blood Ransom" becomes an inferior vehicle for highlighting their acting chops.

Some lines are either smart or pretentious: "Killing is a funny thing. Most people stay dead," Bill tells Jeremiah. Or when Crystal berates Caleb, "What have you done? It's immoral!" That, coming from a sect who preys on humans as a means of survival. If I have to emphasize the obvious, watching the movie poses one big challenge: How to stay awake!

Caleb Hunt is Roman, Crystal's master.

Sinister Jamie Harris

Alexander Dreymon and Anne Curtis

Anne Curtis

Alexander Dreymon

Alexander Dreymon

Caleb Hunt

Nuel Naval's A Secret Affair - The Land of the Despicable

Despicable creatures. That was running through my mind as I watched Nuel Nunez’s “A Secret Affair”. In fact there was not a single character in this theatrical ouvre that I’d wanna be associated with in my life if they were live specimen. I’d rather march to the Zambian capital of Lukasa and live a life of seclusion until I’m fat and ugly and my Louboutins don’t fit me anymore – than have family and friends like the caricatures of “A Secret Affair’.

There’s Rafi (Anne Curtis) who accepts a marriage proposal barely two months after she met Anton (Derek Ramsay). Like rabbits in heat, they decide to wed faster than Lilia Cuntapay could spell “baccalaureate” or “bourgeoisie”. Yes, faster than Cristine Reyes’ ability to sustain familial loyalty to siblings who fed her until she’s big enough to earn her own keep. Unfortunately for the bemuscled Anton, Rafi gets cold feet on the day she traipses down the aisle. She’d rather fly to New York for an indefinite holiday – and by indefinite, it meant a couple of weeks of vacuous soul searching. Does she really want to spend her nights counting the abdominals in Anton’s torso for the rest of her life? Would she survive Anton’s pelvic grunts and forceful deltoid and tricepsual embraces? Could she stomach Anton’s passionate gaze for the remainder of her sad, sad life? The answers seem clear.

Rafi comes home to woo her erstwhile beau who’s so heartbroken, the only way to mend his grief was to shag the living daylights out of Sam (Andi Eigenmann), one of Rafi’s sorority sisters, who’s desperate for a horned-out father figure with 8-pack abs to boot. This wouldn’t be their sole concupiscent rendezvous. As anonymous strangers, they’ve actually done the dastardly deed even before Anton met Rafi. This time around, Sam decides to stake her claim to the Eurasian bratwurst. After all, she had him first. Besides, this bratwurst drips with juicy smoulder she couldn’t get enough of. Albie Casino should probably hide under the table beside Anton’s considerable inches, right? Oohlala.

At this point, the story moves into Boy Pick-Up territory; alas, with the kitchiest, sassiest, campiest one-liners this side of Gaylandia. Everyone tries to outdo the next queen. How kitschy? Well, for starters, there’s Tim Yap whose presence distracts like a fish bone stuck between your dentures. Tim Yap, you see, can’t act to save his life. What’s funnier, he’s awkwardly depicting himself. I’m actually tickled pink to see someone who’s so bewildered and clueless how to portray himself. Such hilarity.

The cinematic plate is replete with Imeldific beauty: flowing or serpentine gowns, designer handbags, sexy stiletto heels, immaculately coiffed hair; you cannot deny the stark beauty lavishly paraded before you. You somehow wonder if this was originally envisioned like a shopping catalogue with the narrative taking the back seat. Unfortunately, without valid characters, such elements make a dubious film.

“A Secret Affair” brims with caricatures, none of them deserving our empathy. Rafi, for example, the main protagonist, sashays around with chock-full of verve and confidence yet she's such an air-head she can’t make up her mind about commitments. She’s the kid who’s taken to the candy shop. After almost an hour of roaming the shop, she queues at the counter and ends up changing her mind – again! She has the emotional appropriation of a 2 year old. It doesn't help that Anne Curtis, one of the most ridiculous Best Actress winners from an equally ridiculous awards-giving Famas, is turning out emotionally barren. The scene where she spews: “I’m okay; I’m okay. I’m not okay” is more than telling. She could have made the emotive leap, but ends up with a parched, albeit perfunctory smattering. Curtis is in dire need of gravitas, and it doesn't help that she trades her verbal tussles against the immensely intuitive Andi Eigenmann.

And isn't it ironic that it’s the cinematic oppugnant who gets our sympathy? Eigenmann personifies her dilemma with clarity and unusual depth. Her scene with Jackie Lou Blanco (playing mother Cate) is particularly compelling: “Mom, what's wrong with us? Why do men always leave us? Mahirap ba tayong mahalin?” And she asks why the women in their family always end up losers. Her restraint is reminiscent of the much younger Jaclyn Jose who, these days, succumb to Machiavellian thespic ploys. All of Jose’s artistic bravura has been bequeathed to her brilliant daughter, leaving her with nothing but glowering and contriving character delineations. “Alam mo saan masarap magkape? Sa burol mo!” “Shut up. Bitch ka lang. Super bitch ako”. Lines like these are likely to arise from parloristas actively engaged in a catfight, not the upper middle class denizens who populate this film.

Finally, there’s Derek Ramsay playing Anton whose emotional sagacity flies out the door whenever a prepubescent Lolita offers her coochie snorcher. Ramsay works hard. In fact, he still smolders – while the testosterone charm drips over. He punctuates his delivery with decibel adjustments. When he pleads for understanding, his delivery turns almost inaudible, the words get lost in his discerning dispatch. But all these feel hollow. Conveying emotion does not rest on the volume of your delivery. You have to become the character. Derek's 8-pack is more coercive than any of the lines he delivered. You could probably squeeze emotions out of a rock than from Derek whose vacuity lords over his artistic savvy – or lack thereof. Isn't it too bad that Angelica Panganiban wasn't able to imbue her hefty artistic wisdom before they parted ways? They could have polished the “Being” exercises in the privacy of their bedrooms. Tsk tsk! Those missed opportunities! You don’t wonder why TV5 opted to hide Ramsay’s face under a mask in his new series, “Kidlat”!     

And those lines: “Betrayal and infidelity in secret is still betrayal and infidelity." Huh? Ano daw?

Sam listens to Anton and Rafi.

Sam barges inside a spa to "service" Anton.

A call surprises Rafi.

Like licking chocolate-coated lollipop...

Ellen and daughter Rafi

Anton smolders in his seat.

Andi Eigenmann captures her emotional predicament even without saying much.

Jackie Lou Blanco, as Cate, was never this bad!

Catfight starts.

The super bitch makes her move. This same tack (of pouring a bottle of liquid) is repeated when  Rafi faces Sam. this time, with a calamine lotion. Very original, debah?

Derek Ramsay smolders like... an igneous rock?

No Other Woman - Fun, Games and Infidelity

I chanced upon a late television show a few weeks ago that had two groups of the most flamboyant gay teens fighting over the loss of a cellphone (someone stole it and curiously returned it broken 2 weeks later). The show is called “Public Atorni” patterned after a US court show called “People’s Court”. The aforementioned court hears small claims, promotes mediation and dispute resolution. The show mostly tackles the pettiest squabbles that should’ve been dealt with among them than on TV, but hey, the livid accusations sometimes make for a diverting nighcap, i.e. if you’ve no better things to do than watch a female lawyer exercise her theatricality, with hilarious effects. Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta, Public Attorney’s Office chief, hears the cases, then animatedly points to warring characters – “Asunto o areglo!” – as though her audience are a bunch of deaf dweebs. Besides, isn’t she aware that “pointing fingers” is actually bad manners? There are ethical books on this, so we’re prone to point that out. Anyway, we’re diverting!

The point being: Despite the almost trivial proceedings, the freewheeling verbal tussle between these pubescent homosexuals, you couldn’t help but listen and be amused! They have such florid ways of throwing verbal punches, not dissimilar to the smart exchanges found in comedy bars! They are entertaining and I was laughing myself out!

A few days ago, I watched Ruel S. Bayani’s “No Other Woman” and I could swear I’m transported back to that court house. It’s one drag show all over again! And though this was supposedly a domestic drama, I had the time of my life laughing away!

Capsule

Ram and Charmaine (Derek Ramsay and Cristine Reyes, respectively) make a loving young couple. Ram supplies furnitures for luxury resorts, but he struggles to rise above a negligent father and her father-in-law’s leering condescension. One day, he meets breezy and free-spirited Kara (Anne Curtis), daughter of the resort owner (Tirso Cruz III) he’s peddling his furniture wares at. Though Ram once vowed to be faithful, his resolve weakens where Kara’s concerned. After all, she knew he was married and she’s vowed never to be a “kabit” (mistress). This was just a consensual lay in the hay between consenting adults... with no emotional involvement!

Unfortunately, these trysts soon turn addicting (i.e. habit-forming). When Charmaine (Ram’s wife) begins suspecting there’s more to Ram’s constant disappearances, not to mention his hickeys, the philandering couple is already in too deep in their affair. They’re starting to care! That’s when Charmaine realizes that she must fight back and claim ownership to what’s rightfully hers. What becomes of Kara?

We’ve heard of such marital predicaments and situational narrative before, but what keeps “No Other Woman” entertaining is its campy approach to the arguments. Heck, even Charmaine’s mom (Carmi Martin) gushes with hissy lines as though she’s the anointed guru of relationships (she isn’t, her hubby’s probably jumping from one affair to the next): “Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo, maraming snatcher. Maagawan ka. Lumaban ka!” Then: “Panahon na para i-pack mo na yang Lucy Torres mo, ilabas mo na diyan si Gretchen Barretto. Ako na ang bahala sa red stiletto mo!” And there’s more: “Ano ba’ng mahirap kalaban? Ang putang mahirap o ang putang mayaman?” Answer: “Pare-parehong puta lang yun!” I was going to stand up and curtsy, but I waited because I realized there could be more. I was right: “I’ll never be a pathetic boring housewife,” delivered with so much chili relish, my palate was clapping with glee. If you’ve heard the verbal exchange among the teen homosexuals in “Public Atorni”, you’d agree that they could fit perfectly into the film’s campy catfights!

Anne Curtis has always been competent with characters she's portrayed in the past, but that’s mainly because she coasts on her charisma and earnestness. "No Other Woman" is a departure from her usual girl-next-door persona (Yup, even her "Babe, I Love You" character was a doll!) In this film, Anne plays the delightful vamp to the hilt and doesn’t do badly as a concubine, which is a surprise since she is cast against type. However, it’s really Cristine Reyes who succeeds in controlled thespic strokes. She has obviously learned much from her older sister (Ara Mina, a great actress) how insight and sincerity are mined from within. When Cristine wails, “Bakit? May kulang ba sa luto ko? Pangit ba ako? Mababaliw ako sa kakaisip!” - you knew she meant it! And the film, and all its ill-advised humor, becomes real.

There are a number of mind benders in the story. You’re courting for trouble when you take your jealous wife to where your jealous mistress is - or is that such an alien concept? It was a hammer waiting to hit you in the head. And if such action wasn't meant to spite a lover, think of what Kara can do in her own territory! She is, if Ram didn’t realize, the owner’s daughter and is quite the power-wielding royalty in their own resort. She could castrate Ram if she wanted to. Of course, it makes for an explosive confrontation, but a realist’s option it sure isn’t. There’s more: Why would a “mistress” accept a wife’s invitation for dinner unless she’s bracing for a big meltdown. There are a couple of things worth noting here: delicadeza and guilt, not to mention “common sense”, but then maybe “sense” is farthest in the scriptwriter’s mind when he wrote this scene. In another, Kara shouts an accusation at Ram, "Minahal mo ba ako?" But wasn't she the one who smugly declared, "Shut up and kiss me, and don't you dare fall in love with me?" Who's contradicting herself?

Even the mistress' dad (Tirso Cruz III) is given acidic lines that might as well come from my Values Education teacher: "If you stop hating your father so much, maybe you'll turn into a better person." I was astounded. After all, he himself hated Ram's dad (a former friend and business partner who once defrauded him) so that line felt incongruent to the story. You do realize this overkill was unregulated. The audience would lap it up anyway, debah?

There's a lot of things that caught my (and my bff Iyaya's) attention in the movie: The hand bags are to die for, the shoes divine, and the bathing suits va-va-voom! Curtis and Reyes were such epitomes of beauty, and Derek overflowed with machismo! Unfortunately, all these don't make an excellent movie. It's gay fantasia filled with the most delectable battle lines, the ones we can only dream of using when confronted with usurpers in real life ("Baka makita mo pang nilagyan ko ng lason ang pagkain.") Otherwise, in a realist's world, the mistress clams up; the embarrassed wife runs home in tears; and there's no audience applauding a heated confrontation.

The last part turns messier than expected (Charmaine taunts Kara while the latter’s lounging peacefully by the poolside; Ram’s midnight visit into Kara’s room; the avoidable vehicular accident), each strain as manipulative – canny and circumspect – and “straight out of a cheap teleserye”. You bet!

Anne Curtis as lovely Kara



Anne Curtis





Cristine Reyes


Cristine Reyes


Derek Ramsay


Derek Ramsay


Derek Ramsay

Who's That Girl - Travesty of Assumptions & Unethical Product Peddling

When she was younger, Liz Pedrosa (Anne Curtis) was hopelessly – and desperately – in love with campus heart throb John Eduque (Luis Manzano). Inspite of this, Elizabeth remained a forgotten wallflower. A few years later, the same girl has blossomed into a confident and beautiful woman, gainfully employed and still carrying her romantic torch.

One day, she reads the obituary. A John Eduque is dead. Decked in all black, covered in veil, she troops to the funeral parlor, but while she marches to the coffin of the deceased, she couldn’t contain herself. She bawls embarrassingly so - and makes a spectacle of herself. When she finally reaches the coffin, she finds out that her assumptions were wrong. It was John Eduque, Sr. lying down the casket. But it was too late. The dead man’s family has assumed the worst. Is she a mistress of the departed? Liz does a Cinderella. But to the baffled crowd, who the heck was that girl?

Most the film runs on wrong assumption, and though this may bring the expected hilarity, gags running on protracted conjectures eventually lose steam, as in the case in this slapstick fodder. In fact, Eugene Domingo’s verge-of-lunacy demeanor eventually gets on your nerves. She goes over the top everytime she is (mis)handled by director Wenn Deramas who once again proves his undying devotion to the humorless DJ Durano who’s once again cast, rather laboriously, as a condo caretaker who’s infatuated with Anne Curtis.

Many of the gags seem to run on mere cinematic duress: Nonoy Zuniga singing “Never Ever Say Goodbye” at the wake is not funny, yet this was staged as though there would be a penultimate punchline. “Follow instructions,” shouts Eugene Domingo who plays the distraught widow, Donya Belinda. Funny, right? As punishment for the deceased’s supposed indiscretion (apparently another “wrong assumption”), his body was “cremated” at the lechonan (Ping Ping’s Lechon, the billboard reads) where, as a business promo, one cremated body gets one lechon free. Did you laugh?

Bobby Yan appears as a private investigator who follows Anne around. His name is “Bond” – and if that carries an iota of pleasure to anyone, I wish I got the joke too. Marvin Agustin does a cameo as a fishball vendor and so does Ai Ai de las Alas who closes the film like a cliffhanger.

As we’ve mentioned earlier, a lot of the gags fall flat: “Makinig ka na lang sa mga trip ko.” Response: “O sige, happy trip!” Huh?

When Donya Belinda learns that all her assumptions have been tricks of the mind, she nonetheless proceeds with her vengeful plans: to discredit and dispossess Liz. Suddenly, markets are shut on them; Liz gets kicked out from her condo and fired from her job. Heck, even her little sister Betty couldn’t buy from the fish ball vendor. At this point, we were at the brink of being overly irritated. The narrative has gone out of whack; we were close to stepping out of the cinema, but the thought of our P170 made us stay. So we soldiered on.

The film banks on the manic energy of its zany cast, and a huge part of them was lead to believe that eternally irascible characters are fun to watch. Candy Pangilinan, check! Eugene Domingo, check! Pangilinan’s choleric demeanor particularly annoys the heck out of me. She always throws her line like a constipated oaf (check out KC Conception’s “For The First Time” – Pangilinan might as well be transplanted straight from that film!).

Luis Manzano has confidently found his comedic stride, and he succeeds to rise above slapstick clutter and the latter mawkish exposition. We have always liked Anne Curtis, and for the most part, she carries her character with ample verve. If only she didn’t fall into peddling consumer products as though she couldn't feed herself if Viva wouldn't allow her to endorse on screen: GSM Blue, Magnolia Life Drink, MyPhone. Did I miss Greenwich? This practice is unethical because they are encroaching on the right of the paying consumer who shells out hard earned money to watch a movie, and not "commercials". A movie should never be used to actively endorse commercial products because the audience pays to watch a film! Sponsors could be acknowledged at the end credits; NOT deliberately straddle on the narrative, which is very distracting - and quite insulting! But I guess Viva Films never learns from their “Hating Kapatid” debacle – a major flop, considering it was a team up of two well loved stars – Judy Anne Santos and Sarah Geronimo!

WHO LIKES COMMERCIALS WHEN YOU'RE PAYING P170-200?

I'm asking any sane paying movie goer: Do you like commercials within the narrative of a movie you're watching? If you're not an idiot, then it's a no-brainer really. Would you appreciate it if in the middle of your watching "Superman", the Man of Steel suddenly pulls out a can of Coca Cola from his cape and chugs it down with gusto? Or Audrey Hepburn suddenly thrusting Modess while backriding with Gregory Peck in "Roman Holiday"? Or Edward and Bella hoisting GSM Blue while cuddling together in the next sequel of "Twilight"? Or Spiderman munching a slice of Greenwich Pizza while web-slinging? These are big no-no's. These enterprising producers arrogantly abuse the Pinoy moviegoers with such blatant practice.

GREED AND CONSUMERISM

When it comes to money making schemes, Viva Films treads the thin line between consumerism and greed. They did this when Sharon Cuneta was their queen (which went on when she made Unitel's "Crying Ladies"?) They have lived off product placements and overstepped their boundaries with colossal excesses. Do you wonder at all why most of their flagship projects don't make as much as they should? It’s because they cannot regulate avarice. And karma has a way of catching up with unmoderated vice. What is it in Tagalog, “gahaman”?

Viva Films’ extent of greed is directly proportional to the mediocrity of their films.

Curtis: Unethical and shameless peddling of consumer products encroach on the paying consumer's right to watch a movie free of commercials! To have to watch and pay P170, and be blatantly bathed with commercials is just misplaced consumerism and unmoderated greed! Especially when the film itself is a moron's masterpiece!