

I have been itchin' to watch the new
Matheiu Kassovitz movie ever since I saw the trailer. Kassovitz is quite a French hottie who directed the neo-noir masterpiece "
La Haine" (Hatred), a black and white cinematic essay on delinquency and violence in a French city. Kassovitz also starred in the sumptuous rom-com, Oscar-nominated "
Amelie" where Kassovitz played Amelie's yummy OOD, as Kyle (one of my BFF) succinctly puts it. (OOD =
object of desire) He has since directed the disappointing Hollywood thriller, "
Gothika" where he was rumored to be fighting with his lead actress, Halle Berry.
So, it goes: Kyle made me a deal. If I accompany him to watch his
bading flick at Robinson's Galleria, Crisaldo Pablo's
Quicktrip (which was a disaster in all sense of the word), he shall accompany me to watch Kassovitz's
Babylon A.D. Besides, bading flicks always seem to produce salivatory eyecandies with little substance - so we went! It was a fair deal.
I like Kassovitz. He has always churned out cerebral films - although he could do with a little more humor in his directorial pieces. And it's been awhile since I was able to watch a high-adrenaline, futuristic sci-fi adventure in the vein of the
Terminator series.
SPOILER ALERT!
In a capsule,
Vin Diesel plays
Toorup who was tasked to safely "deliver" a special girl Aurora (Melanie Thierry, who reminds me of Uma Thurman) from Mongolia to America. The mission is risky. Toorup is a castaway vigilante who cannot enter the U.S., but as sci-fi flicks like this go, there is always a way to attain the impossible. What makes Aurora special? For starters, she started to speak at the age of 2. I did too and it didn't make me anything special. I can speak French.
Oi oi oi! Merci! LOL. However, Aurora did her "
yeses" in 19 languages! Moreover, there were things she could predict! And finally, she had an immaculate concepcion! And we're talking "twins"!
Now, bad bad girl Charlotte Rampling who plays the High Priestess has planned to secure these babies for the emergence of a super religion of sorts that will eventually dominate the civilized world!
The new messiah multiplied by two! Imagine that! If this all seems too tall a story, it is! The characters were badly written.
Read: they were boring, and I just couldn't empathize with their plight! I love Michelle Yeoh, who plays Sister Rebecca, who is tasked to take care of uber-Virgin Mary-wannabe Aurora, but the situations they were in didn't move me to sit back and enjoy! In fact, I was fidgeting on my seat! Whatever happened to my beloved Kassovitz? That's what he gets for standing me up at out dinner cruise along the Seine! Hahahaha!
With a narrative that inspires a lot of questions over questions, Babylon A.D. inspired me to bury the concept of this ancient mesopotamian city located in Babil, Iraq! It's better left undisturbed - for good! How was the big big man
Mark Sinclair Vincent aka Vin Diesel? Let's just say I won't miss him for now.
Maybe when the latest incarnation of the film "
The Fast and the Furious 4" opens June 2009, he shall do better? I probably wouldn't notice. My eyes will be fixed on the scrumptuous
Paul Walker whom I have missed for ages! Kay Andrea del Rosario na lang si Vin! Paul is mine!
Touch my errrr... muscles.