Andoy Ranay's Sosy Problems - The Funny and the Unfinished

There’s unabashed delight in the depiction of bratty, filthy-rich social butterflies as seen in Andoy Ranay’s “Sosy Problems”. Lizzie Consunji (Rhian Ramos) leads an enviable pack of the “super duper rich” that further constitutes Danielle Alvarez (Bianca King), the daughter of a former congressman (Ricky Davao) with briskly dwindling fortunes; Margaux Bertrand (Solenn Heussaff), best friend of Claudia Ortega (Heart Evangelista). Margaux and Claudia’s relationship is dragged down by the simmering rivalry between their former beauty queen-mothers Martina (Cherie Gil) and Glory (Agot Isidro), Claudia’s mother. They’re the privileged bunch. They arrive in private helicopters; ride horses like Mikey Cojuangco; employ yayas who ride in specially-assigned cars; and they can sniff fake designer bags from a mile away.

But all’s not well on the horizon. The Polo Club, their favorite hangout, was bought by Bernice (Mylene Dizon), a former club cashier who got hitched to a billionaire. Bernice plans to turn the club into a Yaya Mall. The girls are appalled. After all, they couldn't fraternize with the masa. What becomes of their memories? More importantly, what happens to the employees of the club, some of whom have worked there half their lives. Lizzie turns to her dad for help, but he wouldn't budge so she takes matters into her hand. She organizes a picket to protest against the plan of the new owner. This gets them arrested for their stunt.

As punishment, Lizzie is sent to the remote town of Sapang Bato to join her lola (Nova Villa) and cousin Becca (Barbie Forteza). But provincial life is far removed from Lizzie’s cosmopolitan lifestyle. There are no clubs, no internet or wifi, and phone signal is intermittent, she had to climb a tree to secure one. Lizzie invites her friends to help get over the tedium of rural living, but they end up fighting with each other. What’s worse, Lizzie becomes a big burden, financial and otherwise, to her well meaning grandmother (her lola’s sister) and cousin.

Back in the city, Danielle starts to deal with her own financial troubles the only way she can. So she devises ways to hook up with Inaki Montinola (Alden Richards) whose fortune is legendary. With the help of Santi (Mikael Daez), a stranger he met at a party, she invites Inaki for dinner. Will she get an audience with the eligible bachelor? Would Inaki show up? Meanwhile, Margaux and Claudia are fighting over Benjo (Aljur Abrenica), the club’s good looking stable boy-cum-waiter who seems oblivious to the girls’ constant flirting. With their internal strife piling up, the fall of the Polo Club seems inevitable… or is it?

Andoy Ranay’s “Sosy Problems” is riddled with loopholes, you start to wonder if there were cognitive beings driving this cinematic vehicle. Aside from the threadbare plot, the motives of the characters are dubious. If these people truly had a plethora of riches, they had several options in the drawing room: 1. Hire a lawyer to negotiate their demands, not that they have proprietary say on a privately owned property; 2. Pool their resources and gather their amigas to buy the property from the new owner; 3. Take to the media by bombarding the public with articles about the poor employees; 4. Purchase another property and equip it with even better facilities. Planking at the facade is as ridiculous as the thought of someone purchasing the playground of the rich and famous. Besides, who did Bernice marry – the Prince of Brunei?

While on sabbatical at the province, Lizzie’s lola had to “steal” from her other granddaughter’s piggy bank because they were low on resources to support Lizzie’s whims. Didn't Lizzie’s dad (Johnny Revilla), a successful hotelier, send enough money to finance her daughter’s stay in the province? The lola could have easily asked from Lizzie’s dad and, surely, he wouldn't mind sending a few thousands of pesos. A lola stealing from her granddaughter is a grave mistake, even if this were meant for good intentions. Stealing is 8^th of the Ten Commandments, remember? This narrative strain is ill advised and reminds me of Sef Cadayona’s sexual assault in Emmanuel dela Cruz’s disputable “Slumber Party” where “rape” is horrendously treated with easy humor. We've never heard of grandmothers acting like juveniles since Australia’s Oscar-nominated “Animal Kingdom”. This isn't Oscar-worthy.  

The movie is, however, made bearable by the delectable turn of its lead stars portraying some of the most self-absorbed characters in local cinema. Rhian Ramos hams it up and shows why this role was written for her. She is brilliant and playful as bratty Lizzie. Think Alicia Silverstone's "Cher". Though humor in the film is a hit-and-miss affair, many of the gags involving our four ladies actually work. Enthusiasm is such an infectious malady. 

Take the “pilapil” (dike) scene: the girls wanted to visit the "pilapil” because someone told them it’s beautiful out there. Without an inkling of idea what a “pilapil” is, they march through dikes with high heels, wide brimmed hats and designer bags thinking they were heading into some kind of Shangrila when, in fact, they've reached their destination many times over. This really cracked me up. Another favorite scene was when the girls found a pot of mud they all thought was a facial regimen. They started rubbing  mud all over their faces while Claudia assures her friends with, “Don’t panic; it’s organic.” On the other hand, Bianca King’s part was the most sympathetic. Her story was better told than the rest. And King came out less of a caricature.

Mikael Daez registers strongly as the mysterious Santi, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He was charming and he spoke well. Aljur Abrenica is a fetching Benjo, the club’s all-around boy, but then he isn't made to do much. There are cameos by Ruffa Gutierrez who plays the role of a lifestyle broadcast executive who wants to run a story about the girls. Tim Yap plays a bigger part (than previous movie roles) as Ruffa's lifestyle reporter.

The film actually stumbles hard as it scrambles into its finish line. Story telling turned reckless and banked on fast resolutions. The positive comeuppance felt undeserved because there were untold chapters that needed more narrative discourse. Elsewhere, the grapevine has tongues wagging: Ranay, the film’s director started acting flaky (think Angelina Kanapi) because his boyfriend left him. Sometime November, the still unfinished product was directorless. Grief has a way of skewing priorities, I know, but isn't Ranay a veteran theater habitue? You’d expect the demeanor of a stage professional, right? This was why Joyce Bernal was allegedly taken into the fold to finish the unfinished and do her editing magic. If this is true, then someone clearly doesn't deserve to work in the business again. Work is work. Oscar Wilde once said, “There’s always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.” With grief, people do ridiculous things. Unfortunately, he didn't suffer alone.       

Aljur Abrenica. This photo only courtesy of   http://raindeocampo.files.wordpress.com

Mikael Daez is Santi aka Santiago Elizalde, lawyer and son of an influential scion.

Temptation Island - Sweetest Temptations in Camp Classic

Beauty contests draw women from all walks of life, each one driven by a variety of motivations – fame, fortune and the quest for what would seem like a more tangible form of self worth and independence. When Manila Sunshine Pageant makes its call to public, a bevy of interesting girls come flooding by.

Among these colorful characters: Pura K (Solenn Heusaff), a desperate beauty whose once rich family is now struggling for their old glory; Virginia P (Heart Evangelista), a haughty kolehiyala who's grappling for personal liberties (she's the unica hija in a male-dominated family); Serafina (Lovi Poe), the annoyingly catty front runner; Cristina G (Marian Rivera), the schemy hooker who's in it for the top plum - house and lot. Each one has specific reasons for their participation.

A pre-finals yacht adventure takes the ladies to the Caticlan seas. Tagging along for the ride are Tonio (Dennis Trillo), Cristina G's hustling squeeze; Joshua (John Lapus), the pageant impresario along with his boytoy and photographer Ricardo (Mikael Daez); college student Alfredo (Aljur Abrenica), who's infatuated with Virginia P, and Nimfa (Rufa Mae Quinto), Serafina's much abused alalay. As fate would have it, the ship caught fire and the aforementioned characters find themselves marooned on a desert island. With no supplies for shelter nor food for sustenance.

What follows are the hilarious squabbles, feckless and inconsequential, but undeniably fun!

Somewhere along their discord blooms romance, friendship, and jealousy. And desperate trappings to survive take them into situations that are frolicky and hilarious.

Heart Evangelista: lovely but inconsistent!

This cinematic update of the Joey Gosiengfiao 80's camp classic renames most of its characters to pay homage to Gosiengfiao who was regarded as one of Regal Films' "bold directors". To be perfectly honest about it, I only saw the original "Temptation Island" early this year (Thanks, Kyle!), but I have never had so much fun watching an old Tagalog flick with faded color schemes. It has, in fact, become a personal favorite. And one of the pleasures of watching it was predicting which new set of actors would eventually land the characters. I got the line-up 100% right, although I didn't know Dennis Trillo would be in it! Trillo would take the role of Tonio (originally played by a mestizo actor named Tonio Gutierrez), Christina G's boytoy.

In this film, the main characters were renamed into the vamps that personified Gosiengfiao's cinematic muses, mostly Alma Moreno starrers. Virginia P. was a titular character that starred Alma Moreno, Richard Gomez and Alice Dixson (Jonas Sebastian, who played the original Joshua, wrote the script for this 1989 flick). Cristina G was from "Diary of Cristina Gaston" (1982) that also starred Moreno, Alfie Anido and Jimi Melendez. Serafina was from "Nights of Serafina" shown during the "ST phase" of Philippine cinema in 1996, topbilled by an actress I barely remember, Georgia Ortega - with her consorts Mike Magat and John Apacible. Nympha was from "Nympha", another "bold flick" in 1980 that starred Moreno, Ricky Belmonte, Orestes Ojeda and Alfie Anido. It's actually Pura K (Kikinang) that I can't quite place. This character portrayed by Solenn Heusaff (in this new version) and Bambi Arambulo (in the original) could be one of Alma Moreno's characters too. This move is particularly amusing as it pays homage to Gosiengfiao who loved his women donning Regal's "wet white magic kamison" and his men in the skimpiest bikini briefs.

Lovi Poe: incandescent performance!

Heart Evangelista takes on Dina Bonnevie's kolehiyala role (a character originally named "Dina" but has since been changed to Virginia P.) Though we initially thought Heart would be perfect for the role, she hardly passed muster. Her performance brought a character that was largely inconsequential and inconsistent, vacillating between a snooty college brat and an equally infatuated girl to Alfredo's (Aljur Abrenica, who plays a the college jock) romantic pursuits. Evangelista's performance is a curiosity. We couldn't picture another actress for the same role yet she twiddles between tentatively annoying and downright forgettable. It could have been a perfect fit. What gives?

It couldn't be blamed entirely on her sparkless chemistry with Abrenica playing Alfredo, a role originally played with suave confidence by the English-proficient Alfie Anido; something that Abrenica is too far removed. Abrenica's deliveries were perfunctory and at times painful... like playing a pre-recorded dull declamatory line, robotic and wooden, taking Machete back to the fore. For this folly, the usually insightful director Chris Martinez could have tweaked the script a bit by allowing Abrenica to speak in the vernacular. Pag di kaya ang Ingles, Tagalugin! This will solve the linguistic hurdle. Unfortunately, even Abrenica's Tagalog lines were stiff and amateurish. How long has he been in the business? One year?

For all of Abrenica's physical splendor, he is hopelessly hammy, which is sad considering the fact that he is being groomed by his mother studio as a top-tier leading dramatic actor. What is with GMA's lead actors? Richard Gutierrez, Aljur Abrenica, now (from all indications) Mikael Daez? There is a consistently common denominator: beautiful, but bland!

Marian Rivera, as Cristina G, hams it up. Her zealous demeanor could have taken her character to town. Even her English affectations were in perfect sync with Azenith Briones' original performance. They play an ambitious escort girl who dreams of conquering her poverty-stricken existence. Unfortunately, her Cristina G fails to stay afloat. She may have been Marimar, Darna, Dyesebel and Amaya, but her over eager depiction of Cristina G sinks into the realm of caricature.

The lovely Marian is paired off with the ruggedly handsome Tom Rodriquez who takes on Domingo Sabado's role as the cruise ship waiter Umberto.

Solenn Heusaff wrestles with her Tagalog, but her character is well placed. Pura K grew up from an old rich family; she's well schooled and connected. But her family fortune is fast dwindling. This contest, her 4th, would hopefully take her back to her rightful social status. However, at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think of the adorable Carla Abellana and what she could have done with the role. If you've seen her last year in "Shake, Rattle and Roll - Punerarya" (also produced by Regal Films), you would know what we're talking about.

Solenn is paired with the very green Mikael Daez as Ricardo, the kept boy (originally played by Ricky Belmonte). But Daez was unexpectedly droll. There was hardly a hint of romantic spark between the two. What's worse, Mikael doesn't register as well as he did in his Jollibee commercial or his boobtube personas for that matter. To be fair, this is his first film - shot just a few months into his entry in the business. To my mind, he could have done better with Alfredo's role - the cono jock who's smart and dependable. Aljur could have essayed the perfect callboy Ricardo. I am nevertheless looking forward to his next projects. Despite this debacle, Daez seems like a promising personality.

Alfie Anido: sorely missed!

John Lapus can't hold a candle to Jonas Sebastian's Joshua, the pageant impresario with a kept boy, who later becomes errr... "food"? Joshua is a pivotal role, taking the film's campiness to theatrical frolic. In fact, he bears a number of iconic lines, including references to the movie's title:

"How can you resist all the temptations in this island?"

"It's a sabotage, an accident, a twist of fate."

"There ought to be a law against social climbers. They ought to be executed."

"This is like Cairo, a perfect spot for a camel ride."

Lapus doesn't have the verbal cadence and vocal flourish of Sebastian, though on the whole, Lapus is a serviceable Joshua.

Aljur Abrenica takes his Machete role to heart: wooden!

Rufa Mae Quinto updates the maid's role Nympha (played originally by Deborah Sun) and owns it like it was written for her. She's always had this sardonic take on pedestrian lines, her impeccable wit at delivery is just pure joy. She simply cracks me up. There were a few scenes that showcased her comedic talent: when she was making a bench out of the dunes; her "dance of the seven veils" that ushered the scene where everyone else falls into the lure of the island; her blind servitude to her mean employer, etc.

Mikael Daez plays kept boy-photographer Ricardo.

But among the bevy of beauties on display, it is Lovi Poe who shines the brightest! She's perfectly attuned to her character - catty, ambitious, maid-toting Serafina, played in the original by Jennifer Cortez. When she flips her hair and waves a stick against her enemies, she embodies this snooty girl who looks down on everyone. She's this seductress; the vamp from hell, and obviously, Panday's sophisticated daughter. What a joy to watch!

Much of the script has been kept intact, even the treatment of scenes has been carefully studied to remain faithful to the original. Sure, cyber technology has been adequately placed, but not much else. Martinez also did away with the protracted and useless contestants' speeches that characterized the concluding portion of the original. And this time, Cristina G chooses the right man for her.

Are we in favor of the idea of remaking and updating "Temptation Island"? Absolutely! A whole new generation is not familiar with the original. There are people who wouldn't take the time to watch a grainy, almost black-and-white 1980's film. Some stories deserve to be told - again! Though this work isn't as fun as its predecessor, Martinez rides his humble boat by carefully tweaking its story line into something as close to the original - in all its campy and artistic sensibilities. It's a tough act to follow. But this is Chris Martinez, one of the most brilliant directors of his generation.

Tom Rodriguez plays the waiter Umberto.

Alfie Anido was the original Aldredo, played in the current version by Aljur Abrenica.

Ay Ayeng - The Travails of Watching an Indie

I have always patronized local films. I must have seen most of the local film releases, both mainstream and indie. Do I find them better than the U.S. releases? Are you kidding? There's just a few Pinoy films that's worth their admission fee of P150-160. But hope springs eternal every time; that I always hope to stumble upon a gem, like Jerold Tarog's "Confessional" - thus i keep watching these local drivels. Unfortunately, a majority of these local and digital flicks are turning out to be real turkeys!

Consider this: When you watch a digital film, aka indie film, these new film makers have made use of the digital medium as a convenient excuse to dole out shoddy filmmaking, no-budget productions, galunggong-cheap technicals and visuals that remind one of films from the 60's. A movie viewer is suddenly forced to lower down his expectations, his standard of appreciation, solely because, hey! this dud had a shoestring budget!

Yet - you queue at the ticket booth and you pay the same amount. They don't necessarily give you a discount when you watch these films - even if they admit to having a budget that won't feed my retriever! LOL. When I shell out P140 for a movie, I shall have acquired the right to voice out what I feel about the movie. Did it deliver? Did it entertain? Did it tell the story well?

Yet sometimes, when you lay down your critique in the confines of your own blogsite, there are morons who would impose "appreciations" on their misdirected films! And i say, HONEY, you pay for my movie watching and I won't say a word. I-uutot ko na lang kung di ko nagustuhan. But as long as i am paying for my movie admission ticket, my opinion is free from anybody's censure. Pera ko, opinion ko. Simple.

Now let me head to another indie film that has crossed my path - Edd Palmos' "Ay Ayeng".

Ayeng (Heart Evangelista) returns to her community in the Mountain Province "a long time ago" (yes, the director had illusions this was a fairy tale). She has endured the big city and is one year short from graduating as a teacher. However, life is hard and the money that her local community used to send for her studies has ceased from coming. Moreover, a nasty band of military bandits has set up harsh dominion over the villagers. Local girls are suddenly taken away for the trolls' pleasures, and able bodied male villagers are surreptitiously "eliminated". In the midst of all these troubles, Ayeng has taken upon herself to teach the children and some willing adults, writing the alphabets and numerals on her dirt board. With the help of a visiting childhood friend Karen (shrill voiced Sheena Joy), she has built a makeshift classroom for her pupils.

SPOILERS!

As fate would have it, some greedy businessmen have bribed the local politicians to clear the area for a business project. Along the way, more villagers are killed, houses are burned - and finally, Ayeng herself gets abducted and eventually, raped. As an aftermath of all these, the villagers still had the gall to blame Ayeng! What gives? Even her mother Umay (Maria Isabel Lopez) became oblivious to her sacrifices. What's a girl to do?

This is supposedly based on the life of Macli-ing Dulag, a tribal leader who, during the Marcos era, fought against the destruction of the Chico Dam. Adapted from the novel by Abdon Noviza and Liza Lazaro, the narrative is uninterestingly told in a slew of close-ups that makes viewing a discomfort. Some shots are even as hazy as a pencil drawn image (like the Honolulu scenes). As I said earlier, it was like watching a 1960s flick with misfocused directions and unfocused lenses.

The morning after Ayeng gets raped, we see her wake up from the shanty fully clothed. Did a fairy godmother clothe her? She stands up and opens the door in front of her. Then she cries in wild abandon in full view of everyone from the soldier's camp - instead of shutting her wide mouth and planning an escape! Luckily, she escapes and walks back not to her house to seek the comfort of her family, but to the classroom, where she further cries before a morose mother-and-son. Yet these idiots just stared at her without a reaction. They would have reacted better from ant stings! LOL. There was just no hint of consolation or sympathy! Then without rhyme or reason, they walk out on her! Like idiots!

Another misdirection was when Ayeng leaves the village with Karen. Just a minute prior, her mother along with the rest of the villagers (composed of 4 people - LOL) told her off. "Pabayaan mo na kami, Ayeng." So - she does exactly that. She packs her bag and leaves.

As she walks into the sunset, the kids scatter all over the crevices of the hills - in pairs of twos! They start singing "Ako ay Pilipino" a la "We Are the World". Each distributed lines carrying a different pitch from the last one!!! It was hilarious! Like witnessing an amateur children's program. Only, the St. Paul's kinder students are much much better. No wonder Ayeng was crying her heart out! The punishment was too much to bear!

Now, what made the villagers suddenly change their mind? Search me. It was a spur-of-the-moment change of heart that took 3 milliseconds. Once again, with no rhyme nor reason! What ever happened to the character of Ayeng's lover, Sadek (Jao Mapa); or Ayeng's father and brother? Were they ever reunited? The epilogue conveniently forgot all these other characters. Like they were just figments of her nightmare!

The movie's sole redemption rests on someone's shoulder - Heart Evangelista! This girl carries her character with earnest sensitivity all throughout this crappy film! She is such a lovely presence that when she cries, your heart will melt like butter. There are physical presences that are easy to empathize with. Evangelista has it. It is obvious that Star Cinema has done her good in her training as an actress! Or maybe her former beau Jericho Rosales was simply an effective mentor!

Too bad she had to endure starring in this outdated, disjointed, misdirected, haphazardly mounted film! Brillante Mendoza's "Manoro" was a better realized project about literacy and scholastic dedication - by leaps and bounds!

As I made my way out of SM cinema, I shook my lovely head. Gosh! There was only Kyle and myself populating the whole cinema! If this were my first time to watch a digital indie film, you can bet it will also be my last. Good thing I'm a masochist. I love punishing myself!